<p>dufus
if you are going to say goodbye, then say goodbye and leave. parents come to this forum to talk to each other, and learn from each other, not to diss others about who gives good advice and who gives bad advice. to blame CC for bad acceptance outcomes for some students is just ludicrous. no one HAS to listen to the free advice given here.</p>
<p>Dufus, I was responding to several posts, not just one. I responded to Coureur's remark. Then I responded to a post you made about the PTA. </p>
<p>I join you and agree that there are many posts on CC that strike me that I don't understand at all....like the kids whose parents are mad at them if they didn't get into certain colleges or make them apply to certain ones, etc. Yes, there are all sorts of stories on CC. All sorts of misinformation. All sorts of misguided situations. But there are so many willing to help and guide and balance that out. </p>
<p>I just don't like generalizations of ALL forum posts think blah blah blah....as if they are representative of all posters. I don't like generalizations about parents on CC that Suze made either. I don't negate that some parents are like she described but many here are not. Just participating here doesn't make us all controlling hovering parents. I'd be the first to agree with you that a parent's place isn't to talk to a professor about a grade. This isn't K-12 any more. This is college.....I know my kids deal with ALL this on their own but I am there in the background for advice to them of things they could do if they should ask me. I know what is going on in their lives but I don't run their lives. Some parents do but please don't lump all parents on CC in that category. Afterall, even you say you aren't that way and you are a parent on CC....there's ONE! (there's more) Just like you shake your head at some students' posts on CC....so do many of us....but we're here to help or counter misconceptions or attitudes. There are good posts and bad posts. Right posts and wrong posts. Many many opinions. Many sad stories, many happy ones. Many poor attitudes, many good ones. It is just a discussion forum. Each post is not by an expert. But there are plenty of knowledgeable folks on CC to counter some less knowledgeable ones. </p>
<p>Also, maybe you should visit the Parent Forum once in a while. There is a lot of thoughtful discussion and lots of advice given that is very good from some very knowledgeable folks who are very giving of their time. Kids come to the parents' forum for help OFTEN. There is a reason for that. Perhaps you are hanging on the wrong subforums. Like I said, I never read certain forums on CC. I read the ones that appeal to me. You might do the same.</p>
<p>PS...since you have been here a long while and so have I...I just would like to point out that my posting name is SoozieVT....as in Soozie who lives in VT.</p>
<p>dufus,
if you see nothing insulting, nasty, insinuating, or character assassination without naming names, in suze's post, than you & I have far different understandings of critical reading. That understanding would include both tone and content. And the fact that a discussion of "hovering parents" has occurred more than once, does not mean that it is not a topic aimed critically at parents. Nor does the fact that the possibility of hovering parents is brought up, make it accurate. I'm underwhelmed by professors who claim that it is just oh-so-common for parents to interfere directly with their students' academic affairs. I have yet to meet a single parent who does that, so I guess my experience is every bit as accurate as those "claims."</p>
<p>Not naming names does not absolve suze of the insidious accusations she alluded to. It's merely more cowardly than naming the names. The effect is the same; the intent was clear. I can list the destructive elements of her post; I just find it boring & tedious to do so.</p>
<p>I don't give a damn (since you're so free with your language, I'm happy to match you) about what you "think" suze's "motivation" was in posting such garbage, and it IS garbage (unsubstantiated, offensive, malodorous). If she was referring to parents other than the supportive variety, nothing in her post indicated so. In fact, she particularly singled out the supportive contingent.</p>
<p>I know what the hell <em>I'm</em> talking about; I'm very doubtful that you know what you're talking about.</p>
<p>You claim to want to leave, but as soozievt said, & as you keep demonstrating, you don't really want to leave. You want to fight, but, like suze, you want to take no responsibliity for initiating or continuing any battles.</p>
<p>Like cur, I also don't know why you're hating so much. The whole thrust & direction of your posts sound less & less constructive.</p>
<p>I also don't find your response to soozievt regarding PTA & CC very coherent or on target. (I understood her argument.) It doesn't matter, though. I don't need to justify to you why I do not appreciate generalized vitriole against whole groups of people, which is borderline libelous in its tone. Yes, I do know what the hell I'm talking about.</p>
<p>Just to clarify when I was talking about Suze's remarks...I understood that SOME parents are too involved...they exist...but she was generalizing that those who participate on CC often equates with that stereotype...as if participating in discussions goes in hand in hand in running our kids lives or doing their college process for them, etc.</p>
<p>Like epiphany wrote...and I meant to also say....it was very clear that Suze pointed out two very giving and informative parents on CC. One is even in the field of education. It was a personal attack that was just not OK. Those two people's posts have taught me LOTS. They are two posters who when they give advice, I trust they know what they are talking about, unlike some CC posters, which goes back to a point I made in an earlier post that when reading discussion forum posts, one has to look at the writer and ascertain over time the validity of their posts....and the source is what matters on such forums. </p>
<p>I still don't get your statement about leaving...you keep coming back....and then you started two or three threads that put down CC before you made your so called exit....are you taking many bows first? It's like the disgruntled worker who attacks the place before leaving for good.</p>
<p>I am having trouble understanding how people can so miss my point. It has nothing to do with the parents forum or parents or parenting. It is that CC and forums/blogs like it that are involved with college admissions increases the angst connected with getting into the brand-name colleges, create fear that not getting in to an elite college will destroy ones life, and result in a poor choice of colleges for many applicants. This is in the NY Times article, and Sally Rubenstone of CC was quoted in the Times article as wondering whether online discussions were helpful "or are we, instead, merely fanning the flames of fear in an already overly stressed process."</p>
<p>It has nothing to do with whether the advice is free or not. If drugs were free, I would still be against them. Wanting to do something about bad societal effects has nothing to do with whether they are free or not. This has absolutely been the worse thread I have ever been on at CC. Even the thread about the list of top 500 global universities put out by China had sections that were logical arguments. It has never been my intention at CC to get people into the elite colleges, but rather to help them survive the process. (After all, it is a zero-sum game anyway.) At any rate, it is only CC and not Hitler so maybe not that much harm is being done. Go ahead and continue. It's free.</p>
<p>You people seem to have defended yourself to an unbelievable degree against things that were not actually said about you in Suze's post. You should wonder what that was about.</p>
<p>Just to make it easier, I'm gone. :)</p>
<p>The talk of the parents was in response to SUZE. When there are threads, people respond to various posts, not ALL to just you. SHE lumped all parents together in one of her posts. SHE insinuated that parents who participate often here must do all this stuff FOR their kids, yadda yadda. Some posters, including myself, responded to THAT. </p>
<p>As far as the worthiness or types of posts on CC....I have responded early on what value I find in the CC forums. I acknowledged that some posts are ridiculous. Some are misinformed or misguided. I don't come onto CC to pick colleges or rate chances. Those who rely on CC for that are making a mistake. NorthstarMom pointed that out well in my opinion and I agree with all she wrote. There are things that HAVE been valid and things that HAVE been useful on CC's forums. It isn't that they are free...the point was in this context that they are simply discussions with all sorts of posters.....some need lots of advice, some give it, some stuff is idiotic, etc. </p>
<p>The remarks about it being free were in the context that you are complaining about CC but it is a free service. I dunno....that seems odd to me. Lots of volunteers here. </p>
<p>It is also distasteful to me to diss a service on that service's own site. It is ok to be critical but to do so here as you are leaving, isn't decorum I admire. </p>
<p>Suze, by the way, did attack two mothers who post regularly on this forum and Suze knows what we mean. She just pegged them and then generalized about all the parent posters. </p>
<p>College admissions is a stressful process....CC has helped many navigate it and also is a support group for many. If others use it other ways like relying on CC to come up with their chances or their college list, then that is too bad. Most I know do not think that is wise. CC is meant to be a RESOURCE, a free one at that. Anyone who posts here needs to know that while some experts participate, it is a discussion forum with lay people. Take it for what it is worth. Judge who the messenger is. Some long term posters have proven themselves over time. If you read the Parent Forum, for example, countless parents have helped other kids who have come to them as adults begging for some guidance. I know I feel really good when I help those kids. I know I feel really good when some parents have helped me when I needed it. </p>
<p>There is another aspect to CC that you may be unaware of. Many have made FRIENDS here. Many of us have met in person. Many who look at my D's colleges have asked for my kids' names and then my kids host them or show them around campus. Many have established frequent email contacts. I have a lot of virtual friends that I care about. One year ago, my 16 year old (now in college) was in a very serious car crash but survived. It was horrific and she was in bad shape and in intensive care and hospitalized. Hundreds of posts went up to me that I could access from her hospital room that I lived in that I could show her...so many wonderful sentiments from people whom I have never met.....many many sent cards and gifts to my family. My D did not know any of them. They were all just "CC families". Yes, CC is very meaningful and valuable in all sorts of ways. I will never forget that.</p>
<p>
Just to make it easier, I'm gone.
</p>
<p>I really doubt you've gone anywhere. LOL. </p>
<p>I still wonder why a grown-up, a multi-book reader, interested in the admissions process and their own child's passage through it, would gravitate toward the fora inhabited almost exclusively by high school kids instead of posters their own age. It makes you wonder. Was the real motivation to "help" the kids as you say (you could hurt yourself patting yourself on the back like that), or is it more to be king of the mountain, benevolent dispenser of truth, CC prophet and sage counsel to a bunch of kids who didn't know any better? LOL. But you did stay in a Holiday Inn Express, right?</p>
<p>I think it's kind of freaky myself. </p>
<p>I do agree with one thing you've said though . I do believe it is time to take your act somewhere else. Try the teeter-totter at the park. ;)</p>
<p>In the past on some long-ago threads it was noted that posters who become disenchanted/disgusted/angry/hurt/bored at CC and loudly threaten to leave usually don't. They go away for a bit, or taper off. People that truly feel like this site isn't doing it for them anymore stop posting and reading and are never heard from again.</p>
<p>I agree with dufus that lotrs of info is wrong, but that is true for a forum. No one here signs a contract saying 'I will speak the truth and only the truth'. As with the concept of a forum, people give IDEAS which I feel is whats so awesome about CC</p>
<p>Welcome back, Dufus. Where have you been these mon...uhh....wee..uhh....day..uhh....8 hours? LOL.</p>
<p>And as for the hapless student who PM'ed you? He or she didn't spend much time posting on the Parent's forum either. Bet?</p>
<p>No one on the PF would have given him the advice he says he got to a specific post by 1300 MIT applicant. Get real. Try another one.</p>
<p>Oh. And I had THIS PM in my box this morning. </p>
<p>
[quote]
Dufus is a blowhard know-it-all who didn't want to be challenged by his peers. Instead he choose to be around teenagers around which he could feel superior. Good riddance.
[/quote]
Man , I thought that was a little harsh, myself. I never would have said that! </p>
<p>Good luck to you in your future endeavors.</p>
<p>I am relatively new to this website. I have been posting under my daughter's screen name until now. I have found this website to be extremely helpful and full of very useful information. Unfortunately, over the past 9 months, I've found the college counselors at my daughter's prep school to be "pie in the sky" predictors. Too bad I found the real information here after the application process was over. My child was rejected or waitlisted from 11 schools, accepted at 1 contender, and accepted at 4 safeties. Had the college counselors been realistic and blunt she would have never applied to the HYP-type schools. Had I found this website early in the application process, I could have counselled her better. Now we are faced with disappointment and heartache as her college hopes are somewhat dashed. </p>
<p>True, not all the information here is accurate. But read enough posts and weed out the bad information from the good, and you get a better idea of the process and the expected outcomes. I think there is excellent information in the "Chances" and "Acceptance" treads here. </p>
<p>Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater.</p>