<p>momofsongbird - Great suggestion about gardening. It is nurturing. That is my plan when my D goes off to college to put the yard in shape finally. Just hope my arthiritis holds off until then.</p>
<p>this thread should be posted in a national newspaper; absolutely great…!</p>
<p>parent of a rising senior here…I can actually picture them outside singing…</p>
<p>CTyankee: I loved your post…</p>
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LOL, Iglooo. I know what you mean…I have a knee that “talks to me” a lot after gardening. I try to ignore it (with a little help from ibuprofen at bedtime).</p>
<p>We made the long drive to S’s college 2 days ago. Tomorrow is move-in day, and we will see him for the last time in late afternoon. S is our last to go, and up until now, the thought of the empty nest has been strange, but also exciting. Now that we are here and the reality of leaving him is so close, I’m having a harder time with it than I expected to. S, H and I are all very excited for S to go on this new journey, and I am fairly sure that the happiness will out-weigh the sorrow tomorrow… I hope…</p>
<p>Great posts everyone.I am holding up,but next week I still have to make it through MOVE IN DAY!!!So I’ll see D again,and hopefully she will have made some new friends during the pre-orientation activities( actually its more like the pre-pre orientation )Went and saw "The Kids Are Alright "A great movie!And I guess all kids will be alright mostly .</p>
<p>Well, got son to the plane last night about 5 minutes before final boarding call, after spending 20 minutes or so in the parking lot with he and I crying, and him trying to decide if he wanted to go after all. The gate personnel would only give one of us a pass past security, so I got the honors, as H was afraid he’d lose it completely. After a sleepless 7 hour flight, S gets there this morning, and calls us, and is still not happy about being there. It’s 10:30 at night there now, and he’s all alone in the dorms, just got off the phone with him, he’s crying, very lonely. This is a military college, so they take their phones tomorrow, but I’m hoping he’ll be OK. I feel like a creep, like maybe we shouldn’t have let him go. Very hard…</p>
<p>{{{CaliMom}}} Hang in there! Give him a few days - I bet he’ll be fine. I remember feeling that way my first night at college, but the next day I met some nice kids and did fine.</p>
<p>And if it helps, I was a MESS on launch day, 5 days ago, but I’m MUCH better now. I will be thinking about your son! Have you gotten Skype yet? I highly recommend it!</p>
<p>CaliMom1992, I hope tomorrow is a better day for your son, and that each day gets progressively better. When will he be able to touch base with you again? This must be a very tough night for you.</p>
<p>We’re hoping he gets an internet connection soon, he’s hoping tomorrow, I guess we’ll see. But supposedly the 1st week, they aren’t allowed any outside connections (it’s called Rook Week), so I’m not sure when he’ll be able to get in touch with us again. Thank you all for the support, it means so much.</p>
<p>Now is the time when you have to have faith that you raised a strong son with resiliency and inner resources he may not yet even be aware of. I’m sure he chose this school for good reasons, and you supported the choice because you believed it was right for him. Have faith in that decision, and have confidence that your son will rise to this challenge, as painful as it may be right now. He’s no doubt exhausted from the travel and emotional upheaval. But when he settles in, gets some rest, meets some people, and starts to learn the ropes, I think he’ll feel much better (and so will you). I’m hoping he finds a way to be in touch with you sooner than a week from now so you’ll know he’s adjusting well. Please keep us posted. And try not to worry. It will get better.</p>
<p>Hang in there, CaliMom … it gets better, and that which does not kill your (or your S) makes you stronger!</p>
<p>I guess all the earlier separations we go thru with our kids-playdates,starting school ,sleep-away camp,is all to get ready for the big day!.Many people have sent me messages about how this is a normal rite of passage and all .That doesn’t make it easier.It was somewhat painful each time(I have 4) but the last,my only girl was the most awful .Yes,I have a husband who is a great comfort ,but sending a child to college is tough!One of my boys did call a few days later,and was sobbing into the phone that he was miserable,and he didn’t like the food,hadn’t made a friend yet,and I just wanted to go to him and rescue him,or at least call the dean or something, but I didn’t .It was so sad to see my D sobbing hysterically with her friends,but not with me !!2 days have passed without a word from her,but I know she is fine. We see her at Move-In next Thursday .Good luck to all the suffering parents …CALIMOM-Why would son go so early,if no other kids there?</p>
<p>Reading this thread makes me tear up. But I do want to offer some hope. Last year, I brought my last one of two to college about 4 hours away. I was incredibly excited for her but worried about the end of my parenting days and empty nest. I also had switched to a new job, deciding that, with an empty nest, I should work full-time and not the 4 days per week that I had been lucky enough to be working during my kids’ childhood (and in a place I loved). Looking back now, I think with the two changes I was almost clinically depressed for about 6 weeks. But then, I adjusted and learned to love it. My husband and I were almost worried about our D coming home for the summer since we had gotten back to a "couple"mode.<br>
As many parents have written, the parenting does not stop at college at all. We were still very involved and proud of our daughter’s growing independence. I will warn you that there is still another transition ahead for you - when your child graduates. Our oldest graduated last year and is now working in a city about 3 hours from home. This actually feels like a more major transition, especially after being fairly involved with his job search this past year. I’m proud of him but he definitely is an independent adult who needs us less than ever.</p>
<p>Big hug to Calimom! I truly feel for you and your son!</p>
<p>Been there,done that.Son#1 graduated,interned at NBC and moved to CHINA!!Lived there 5 years,came home last Oct.Son #2 graduated in 2009 without a job,lived home awhile,and fond job an hour away,so we see him sometimes .Son #3 rising engineer/ junior,8 hours away.D has always talked about living abroad after college,so my expectations of seeing her alot after graduation are low.Maybe that’s why I am so sad now-she is really gone forever.She even wrote the day she left on calendar “-Gone for ever!!”</p>
<p>** CALIMOM-Why would son go so early,if no other kids there? **</p>
<p>Well, he got there a day before the big arrival day (today), when virtually everyone else shows up, but actually a day or two after the earliest arrivals. A friend from here (housed in a different building) got there a day or so before him, and also has no roomate yet. We saw a post on his Facebook page this morning (from his phone, guess they haven’t collected them yet), and he says he loves Vt., but still hasn’t figured out “why he’s doing this”… I’m desperately hoping We don’t hear from him crying in a few days, that must have been heartbreaking! Such a help seeing that others have gone thru this and survived.</p>
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<p>Ever see “My Dog Skip” ?
We have a dog and I expect that when our kiddo #2 goes off to college that it could happen.</p>
<p>Our last hour before leaving the house was waiting for the laundry to be done. You see, DS didn’t start packing until that afternoon and when I reminded him that he needed to take long pants as well as shorts (he’s going to RPI) he said he could only find two pairs of jeans. It turns out two more pairs were stuffed in a duffel bag and weren’t clean.</p>
<p>Our last hour before checking in at the school included a trip to a mall to pick up three more pairs of jeans.</p>
<p>Why are boys like this??? If it was a girl she would have had all her stuff packed up days, if not weeks, ago!</p>
<p>We live in Ann Arbor, home to the University of Michigan; annually we get to witness the newest crop of “deer-in-the-headlights” freshmen. It’s the middle of move-in and the pattern is the same: tears, arguments, hugs, tears, dazed expressions, tears, forlorn looks and more tears. Funny thing is, within two weeks 90% of them move and act as if they’ve lived here their entire lives. My wife says it’s like childbirth, a lot of contractions and pain but you’re so happy when it’s over.</p>
<p>I’m just not convinced that the ability to connect through the internet is really such great thing. The friends of our sons who have stayed in town seem to struggle longer than those who go away. It’s too easy to fall back on old habits, haunts and friends. The out-of-towners seem to grow up faster. Back when I went to college - before time had been invented and when long distance phone calls cost money - we had to adjust and adapt quickly. There was no way to commiserate with friends and family, this was the path we’d chosen and it was up to us to navigate it. I realize that this is a lot like learning how to swim by being thrown out of a boat, but I’m beginning to believe it’s the best way.</p>
<p>S’s best friend left yesterday, he’s currently at another friend’s party. </p>
<p>One of his younger friends is having a Facebook breakdown; she hung out with the nerdy seniors that my S was part of, and now everyone’s leaving. She’s bereft, and it makes me sad to read her posts.</p>
<p>S is getting Skype not to talk to us, but so that he can see the cats. :rolleyes:</p>