The Grandparent Thread

I haven’t given DIL anything on Mother’s Day, other than verbal wishes. I don’t recall ever getting anything from my mother or ILs after I became a mother. I have a hard enough time deciding what to get her for her birthday and Xmas/Chanukah that I’m not looking for another gift-giving occasion. S definitely gives her something without having to be reminded.

My mother always gave me a Mother’s Day present, MIL never. I always gave both of them something. Because our families are small, we all celebrated together with dinner out, including my sibs if they were in town and H’s B/SIL and SIL’s mother. No one ever felt excluded or was left alone.

S is already thinking about DIL’s first Mother’s Day, and I will give DIL a gift also.

I do give my oldest daughter a card and small gift on Mother’s Day. My son-in-law could put in a lot more effort on special occasions - it’s not equitable, because she does for him. Hoping this improves. It’s really quite a while before kids can make Mommy breakfast in bed by themselves.

My middle daughter is expecting her first baby the week after Mother’s Day, but we think he may arrive sooner. We plan to send a card and a little gift whether or not we’re still waiting for him.

This is a good read for us newbies.

https://www.amazon.com/Nanaville-Adventures-Grandparenting-Anna-Quindlen/dp/0812996100/ref=sr_1_fkmrnull_1?crid=V9YWYTMKHQQX&keywords=nanaville+anna+quindlen&qid=1556195099&s=gateway&sprefix=anna+quind%2Caps%2C150&sr=8-1-fkmrnull

Yes, I give my Ds who are moms a small gift and a card every Mother’s Day.

Joining the thread! D1 is expecting in September and has been diligently looking for infant care since January when she found out she was pregnant. She lives in west Seattle and works downtown. There is a huge shortage of daycare openings. She has put herself on several waitlists after visiting the daycares.

Since it has been decades since I looked for daycare, any ideas of the search, hints, etc. She really wants a daycare as opposed to in house sitter. I, H, and MIL (we live 1000 mi away) have offered to alternate coming there to fill in for what may be months after her initial 6 weeks off from work. Apparently at one year old it may get easier to find a place. I tried to find info on this thread but couldn’t find it.
Ideas? Thoughts? Feel free to PM me.

What does she think about a licensed family day care? We found it worked well for us.

It is really difficult to find daycare for infants. D put her name and paid a deposit on the program she wanted months before she was even engaged. She did not tell her H until she was pg. Crazy! So then they decided they did not want him in a program until he was older but secured their spot.

D’s FIL and MIL have taken turns living
with them in their two bedroom apartment since Sept. D had 4 weeks off and SIL had 4 weeks but otherwise the in-laws have flown from NJ to OR to do this. H and I live 6 miles away but neither of us are willing to do full time infant care (7:30-6:00). We filled in for 10 days. It honestly was MIL’s desire that G’son stay home the first year. He will be 9 months old when he starts in June. H and I will pick him up mid afternoons a few days a week to shorten his days.

D now has 6.5 month old on another wait list for when he turns 16 months just in case they are wanting to move him. Paid non refundable deposit for a spot for Feb 2020.

As far as tricks to find a place she should keep checking back. Things change constantly. G’son was to start in Jan. and now it is June. Pay the deposit even if it is a loss. Check infant programs both near her home and near her work.

Ask everyone she knows about programs. She has time and also you and MIL just in case there is a wait for a good opening. Put her baby on a waitlist for when he is one, also, now. Crazy, I know. Best to her.

A resource for searching Seattle child care @rockymtnhigh2 : https://www.childcare.org/

Here’s a great gift for our new moms.

https://www.amazon.com/Cribsheet-Data-Driven-Relaxed-Parenting-Preschool/dp/0525559256/ref=zg_bsnr_books_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=R3PQZA59EP1GQYGX6DNX

My daughter is at 37 weeks now, due May 15 with our first grandchild and she having a difficulties maintaining enough amniotic fluid, despite carting around a 1-litre bottle of water everywhere she goes. She has been to the hospital twice to receive additional fluids via IV in the past 4 weeks. No obvious signs of a fluid leak. Her baby is breech (practically standing up in her ribs). They have another appointment May 1 for a fluid and growth check ultrasound (baby appears to be growing ok at last week’s ultrasound, about 5lbs 6 oz, a bit on the small side). The OB wants to try manually turning the baby (was told possible complication would be emergency C-section) or scheduling an induction (guessing a c-section). My daughter and her husband live in a rural area the Midwest, I live an hour away in a major metro area. I wasn’t able to be at today’s appointment, but I will definitely be at the May 1 appointment. I am sure that her fluid will be low at next week’s appointment. She’s still working another week as a special needs aid at their local school district (very stressful, kids are combative, fights in classroom and hallway are common). How long can this go on? Is her placenta is just wearing out? I’m at my wits end. I NEED to drive out to New Haven (a 14-hour one-way trip) May 5-8 to move my younger daughter and ALL HER STUFF out of her dorm and bring her home. We plan to have my older daughter convalescing at my home after delivery due to some complex issues.
Any advice with low amniotic fluid or having a breech situation?

Fly to New Haven, rent a vehicle and drive back. Too stressed to drive both ways. Sorry don’t know about amniotic fluid.

My DIL just delivered on Feb 6. The baby was in normal position – head down – a week before, but by the time DIL went into labor, the baby had turned and was breech. They offered DIL the possibility of turning the baby but, as she was in active labor and uncomfortable enough, thank you, they recommended a C section, which DIL took.

In the ongoing saga of my five-month-old GS’s cardiac issues, today he had a cardiac MRI at the Children’s Hospital to evaluate all his cardiac anatomy and anomalies. He, by the looks of the video my DIL sent, came through with flying colors, charming the entire nursing staff and everyone else in his orbit. Although there was a possibility he would have to be intubated (not unusual apparently for infant MRIs), his breathing remained stable after sedation and they were able to avoid it. They needed to evaluate a possible vascular ring around his trachea and it was better visualized without intubation. Phew, that’s done. Now we just have to wait for results which can take up to a week. The outcomes range from watchful waiting to open heart surgery and we all know what end of that spectrum grandma is hoping for…

Hope you get good news, @runnersmom.

The nugget is in the air! He arrives in 4 hours, he’s bringing his parents, tooI

Sending lots of good thoughts your way, @runnersmom !

Thanks everyone, he appears none the worse for wear but we don’t have results yet. And @mominva…YAY!!!

Lots of good news here! Hooray!

?? for the best possible news, @runnersmom!

I have been driving myself crazy trying to decide what I wanted to do about a crib at my home. The kids both live a flight away, so I would like to have something here at my home, so they don’t have to always bring their pack n play. My son has a 7 month old and they own the Guava Lotus travel crib ans bassinet. The baby slept in the bassinet for 3 months and slept in their bedroom. When they visited over the holidays, they brought the bassinet with them as they were afraid she wouldn’t slept in a different bed! Now that she is older, they just use the travel crib.

My daughter is due in two months and has also decided to purchase the Guava. Even if both kids come for the holidays, they will both have to pack their cribs, so I really wanted something here. At some point there might be 3 kids in a crib, so another reason to own something. Among my kids friends, many prefer the Guava as it packs into a backpack, making airport travel easier when your hands are full of other baby gadgets!

I really thought I wanted one of the full size folding cribs, but even folded, I really don’t have any place to store it; we downsized to a townhome almost two years again with limited storage space. I think I have decided on the Nuna Sena Aire due to the ease of set up. Anyone familiar with this crib? It is out of the Netherlands, but sold locally at many department stores and Pottery Barn.

If I still lived in my old house, there would be a nursery waiting for the visiting grandkids! It is funny, my aunt had a crib at her house for her great niece and nephew who lived in the same city and would spend the night about twice a year. Our entire family lives here with the exception of a couple of cousins and my kids.