We are in a beach house in Rhode Is. with all three sons, DIL’s and our two precious grandkids. So much fun. I get a lot of snuggle and play time with the littles.
Heading to Brooklyn soon to pick up our GS for a weekend visit without mom & dad! They are going to a wedding in Maine and decided that the angst they will experience leaving him with us was easier to deal with than driving 8 hours each way and dealing with a 9-month-old over a friend’s wedding weekend at a camp! I am so excited to have him and my D decided to come up for the weekend to spend some serious time with her nephew. I suspect I will be exhausted by Monday, but he’s a pretty flexible little guy and he’s slept here before.
PS - S just texted me that he’s pretty sure GS just said “Mama”…does he know they’re leaving without him?! 
D2 and I are watching GD today and tomorrow. DIL has a new job and has to work Saturday (student move-in day). S asked if we could stay an extra day. Why, yes indeed, we can! She’s 11 months today.
My almost 23 month old GD is smack in the middle of Dorian’s path. If I were wealthy, I wold send my private plane for her and let S & DIL do whatever they judged best for them. This grandma is more worried about the little one! Seriously, I know they are going to make good decisions, but it’s tough to know whether to stay put, go south, or go north.
We are T minus 2 weeks to Grandbaby number 1. Hoping for a smooth and easy delivery and a healthy baby!
I am having a bit of a pity party, so apologies in advance. Both my granddaughters live out of state and a plane ride away unless we are staying for a week. The oldest turns one in 4 weeks, and while I didn’t expect to be there for her first birthday, when my son was telling me DIL’s parents and sister were coming in, for some reason I got upset. Not that her parents would be there, but that my husband and I wouldn’t. What makes it even sillier is that they will be here the weekend before for Rosh Hashanah; well at least for dinner Sunday night. My aunt wants us to have a mini pre birthday cake for her, but I am not sure my DIL will go for that.
While the kids send plenty of videos and pictures, and we FaceTime often, I hate not seeing them all the time. My dearest friend has 3 grandchildren here in town and she sees that at least once a week, and usually more. I tell her often how excited I am for her, but I hate her for having them close. She understands what I mean, so I live through her and are close to her family, so get my hugs from her grand kids.
How do those of you with kids far away deal with the distance?
Well, I don’t have any grandkids at all, but have friends and family who have little ones. When I am able, I try to carry, care for, and hug them without being a pest. I have warned our kids that we will be having long-term rentals wherever they finally settle and start families. I know it must be very challenging.
One of our friends has a grandbaby but she has to drive about an hour each direction to see her. She’s very sad that her S and DIL and that grandD are moving to OR to be near the other relatives in the summer. 
She gets it but as their extended clan is very close, she will miss them and her grandD.
Happy Grandparents Day! My only grandchild (so far…) lives thousands of miles away in Alaska. She is almost 9mo old and I’ve seen her only twice–for her baptism when she was 1 mo. old, and when she came for a visit at 7 mo. Fortunately my d-i-l Snapchats a photo or video almost every day, so I don’t feel out of touch. I do envy those who live close to their grandchildren, and I am hoping my S and his family will move closer–they plan to move within a 7-8 hr drive of us, which would be nice.
I’m with you @snowball. My GD lived cross-country for the first 9 months, and now (she’s almost 2) lives a 7 hour drive away, so visiting requires a commitment from us (not a problem) and from S and DIL (more of an issue). DIL’s family all live within 1.5 hour drive of them and see them much more frequently. They can visit for an afternoon; we can’t. It’s great that GD, and soon-to-be GS, get to see grandparents, but we’re still trying to figure out what works best for us. We do video chat around twice a month, but it’s not like being there.
well @snowball - my answer to “How do those of you with kids far away deal with the distance?” probably won’t work for most.
My DD - and only child - is 19 weeks pregnant with our first grandchild. My DH and I live 700 miles away from DD and SIL. Our solution? In two years (well, more like 20 months, if all works out), we are retiring to MN, where they live.
DD loves the idea, SIL is on board, DH is thrilled about it, and I can’t wait. My only hesitation is - retiring to MN? Who does that?
Our grandson is three today. SMH. It’s flying by just like it did with the kids!
@scout59, your answer is going to be my answer. I am less than 2 years from retirement. D is pregnant and due next March. I am planning to move to her city when I retire and, thankfully, it is only 2 hours away until then. I will be able to fly out easily to see S & DIL’s little girl from that city instead of having to drive several hours to airport and then take two flights to get to them. This summer I did the whole crazy trip and due to a flight snafoo, I spent 13 hours traveling a distance you drive in 15 hours. That’s for the birds, not me!
Our pipe dream is to move near our kids, but that won’t happen anytime in the near future. My husband will work forever and it would have to be here, and I am the sole caregiver for my mother; although she currently doesn’t need care, just thinking of the future.
I am lucky that our kids and their spouses are more than willing to send videos and pictures regularly. They also wish one set of grandparents lived nearly for free babysitting I am actually surprised at the number of times my son will send videos and call to FaceTime, so I really have no room to complain.
I am one of the lucky grandparents who lives near my GS. I have friends who live far from their kids, so I truly know how lucky I am. Our home is close as the crow flies, but NYC traffic can make it an ordeal to get to them. However, I’m happy to be there when they need me and even happier just to drop by and visit if I’m in the neighborhood. And even as close as they are, my S Facetimes regularly. This morning he Facetimed with my grumpy GS who had woken up very early because he’s teething, and he called again when he got home from work to show me, "happy baby!’ Technology today is amazing and makes it easier for family who can’t be part of the kids’ day-to-day lives. Even shared digital photo albums keep aunts, uncles, & cousins fresh in everyone’s minds.
We live across the country from our gd between the time difference, her naps and their busy schedule, we have to text them or vice versa to see if we are all available to have a face time/google duo. Oh, and our gd likes to “press the red button” (ending the call). Makes for lots of redials…
My Dh took a new job (we are nowhere near retirement age) so we could move near our grandkids. (The selling big house thread a few weeks ago had me nervous, but we had a contract on our large sq ft house in 48 hrs. We bought a house 5 mins from ds’s. Ds and dil are enjoying date nights. My younger kids are enjoying being around their nieces and nephews. We just love being around all of them. It is a wonderful blessing. Our other kids like the area, so maybe in the future this might become home base for them, too.
Grandparents, I need opinions. I’m trying to figure out if I’m overreacting.
Backstory: I am 8 weeks pregnant and have known since about 4 weeks. We had our first ultrasound yesterday and everything looks good so far. We told my parents, our siblings/their spouses, and a handful of close friends a few weeks ago. We have not told Mr R’s parents because the last time they learned about one of their DIL’s pregnancies, my MIL told my SIL’s extended family at SIL’s birthday party without her permission. SIL had suffered a few miscarriages and didn’t want extended family to know until much later on - and MIL knew this. It wasn’t an accident or her being super excited or something. This is just how she is.
So Mr R and I decided not to tell them until our viability scan just in case. We know as soon as we tell them, the entire extended family will know within an hour. We are telling them tomorrow.
But MIL has taken all the fun out of it. She’s been asking, repeatedly, Mr R’s brothers and their wives for weeks whether I’m pregnant and everyone has told her that it’s not appropriate to ask - especially since we struggled with infertility and had to go through treatments to get pregnant. (We’re very, very close to Mr R’s brothers and their wives. The wives and I talk on and off all day every day through a group chat.) Instead of just respecting everyone’s wishes, she’s been bragging for weeks that she “knows” I’m pregnant - again, not in a happy way but in a smug “I know even though they didn’t tell me” way.
So yeah, we’re going up to tell them in person tomorrow. It didn’t take a genius to put the pieces together but she’s still taken all the fun out of the reveal. We even made a cute picture with the other niblings announcing it but both of us don’t really even want to go up tomorrow. (They live just over an hour away.)
Am I wrong to be annoyed? It would be one thing if she was just super excited and couldn’t wait to be a grandma or something - but this is her fourth grandchild and she basically got bored of them after the first one. She just has a need to be correct no matter what and I know that her response isn’t going to be “congratulations!” or anything like that, it’s just going to be “ha! I knew it.” and brag about how she knew.
I’m hormonal and exhausted from this pregnancy and I can’t tell if I’m blowing this out of proportion. Virtually nothing bothers Mr R - in the near decade we’ve been together, I can count on one hand the number of times he’s been angry and on two hands the times he’s been annoyed - but even he is annoyed by this and half-jokingly suggested they just get to find out with everyone else when we go public in a few weeks. (We’re not doing that, but knowing he’s annoyed too gives me some validation.)
Romi, it’s all about her. She wanted to be the first to know and drop hints to everyone. It’s not about you and Mr Rs struggles with infertility. It’s a secret she wanted to share with everyone.
Forget trying to please her. If she questions you about she wasn’t told sooner, just answer that you know she would be so excited and thrilled, she couldn’t resist telling everyone
She’s showing you who she is. Let it go (easier said than done, I know). She is far enough away that you can limit contact. Let Mr. R deal with his parents so you can reduce your stress. I think the rest of the family has figured her out. ?
Waiting a bit to share is totally standard procedure.
We told my parents after the first dr visit with S1, but didn’t tell DH’s parents til about four months. Lots of bad history from MIL, high risk pregnancy after infertility treatment for me.
We have limited contact because of other issues but I wanted some confirmation that I wasn’t being a miserable grump.
Hopefully she’s pleasant tomorrow but if not we still get to spend time with our niblings so it’ll be a good trip either way.