<h2>THE GOOD THE BAD & THE WORSE</h2>
<p>Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room.
Worse: You're in it.</p>
<p>Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.</p>
<p>Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism.
Worse: As a sacrifice.</p>
<p>Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.</p>
<p>Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.</p>
<p>Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: To enter a convent.</p>
<p>Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting.
Worse: She implicates you.</p>
<p>Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband. </p>
<p>Good: The secretary said "yes."
Bad: Your wife says "no."</p>
<p>Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.
Worse: He's gay.</p>
<p>Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: So did the postman.</p>
<p>Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in.</p>
<p>Good: You get a three-day weekend.
Bad: You get the flu on Friday.</p>
<p>Good: You get tickets to the theatre.
Bad: It's performance art.</p>
<p>Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.</p>
<p>Good: Your boyfriend's exercising.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.</p>
<p>Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas."
Bad: For real.</p>
<p>Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right".
Bad: Your son, that is.</p>
<p>Good: Your daughter's on the Pill.
Bad: She's eleven.</p>
<p>Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: She weighs 350 pounds.</p>
<p>Good: Your son's doing extra credit work.
Bad: Making a sex ed video.</p>
<p>Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune.
Bad: It's counterfeit.</p>
<p>Good: Your wife bought a porn video.
Bad: Your daughter's the star.</p>
<p>Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.</p>
<p>Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.</p>
<p>Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: All of them.</p>