<p>I posted above that two things I’ve learned are how much more mature my D is that I thought, and how fantastic my wife has been shepherding her through this process. Here are some more specifics when it comes to the process in genera, and I offer them more as a testimony to parents about to undertake this journey:</p>
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<li><p>Coaching. I can’t imagine how we would have done this without the audition coach we used. She was great (we love Kelly!!). Plus my D’s vocal teach was fantastic. Having these two wonderful women helped my D be ready for the process. My D met with the coach middle of her junior year and started working on monologues, etc the summer before senior year. </p></li>
<li><p>You need to trust your child’s instincts as to where he or she wants to apply. My D wanted to apply to schools where she felt she’d get more dance because she felt it was the weakest aspect of her portfolio, and she stuck to her plan despite dad trying to push other schools. To humor me she did a couple at Unifieds, came away with a blah attitude about the ones I pushed, and she won’t be going to those anyway. Ultimately your child knows more about what they want and need that anyone else.</p></li>
<li><p>I think this process is as much about your child deciding what school is right for him/her as it is for the school deciding on your child. My D would up auditioning live for 9 programs, 3 at unifieds and 6 on campus. After her on campus auditions she realized some places simply weren’t what she was looking for in either a program or a college setting. Which leads me to my next point…</p></li>
<li><p>Try to audition on campus if you can. Again this was great advice from the audition coach. By auditioning on campus it saved us from making two trips, one to audition and one to visit if accepted. I know it’s hard to do this for some based on the number of programs, which leads to my next point…</p></li>
<li><p>Do your research and put together a realistic list of schools. My D again did a great job of knowing what she felt she wanted, and had a list of schools that were stretches, and a majority that were solid possibilities. This I think is the most difficult part of the process; while every parent and every child has the stars in their eyes of their child being a fantastic talent, I would advise having someone give you and your child an objective analysis of their strengths and weaknesses before applying to schools. I saw a number of kids out there that had little experience in performing applying to places like CMU and CCU, places where they were unlikely to be competitive. I think by taking a realistic approach, doing your research ahead of time, getting objective appraisals, you can likely avoid the scenario where your child is applying to 15-20 schools, and you basically write off his or her senior year with auditions. Which leads to my next point…</p></li>
<li><p>Allow your child to still be a child. I know some kids on here go to performing arts HS and/or spend all their time in community theater when not in school, etc. If that’s your case, God bless you. But whatever you child’s high school experience, let them have it. They will never get that senior year back, and if it is spent doing nothing but getting ready for and doing auditions, they’ll never get that time back. My D was President of her show choir (ranked 3rd in the country -shameless bragging there!!), was a lead in the fall play, and was in the gigantic Christmas show her HS puts on every year. Plus went to the football games, hung out with friends, and kept her grades up. And I believe she would have regretted it the rest of her life if she had given all that up simply to do college auditions. I know all kids are different, but I would advise letting your kid still be a kid and do what they like to do as a senior. Yes, they need to prepare for auditions but I would advise not letting that consume their entire life.</p></li>
<li><p>Grades. This is more for the freshman/sophomore parents and kids out there (some juniors too). Before starting the audition stuff we attended a talk by a Theater Department chair. The first thing he said to parents and kids is that they needed good grades. For two reasons. One is that they look for smart kids that can synthesize information quickly. As he said, they will audition hundreds of kids for about 20-30 spots, they know they’ll get talent, but they need smart kids (and they need nice kids, so if you’re in any way diva-ish lose that now). His second point about grades was simple; the university has minimums for GPA and test scores that have to be met for admission, and if you’re not there you don’t get in regardless of your talent. Again, with hundreds applying they don’t have to make exceptions. So it is CRITICAL that when evaluating programs you make absolutely sure what their standards are for admission, and that you are in that ballpark. Otherwise you will potentially waste time and $$ auditioning for a program where you you not be admitted. And for parents, grades are obviously critical when it comes to affording wherever your son or daughter gets admitted. My D is right now waiting to hear about a scholarship at one program where she’s been accepted for MT, where her grades and ACT have gotten her into the finals for a full 4 year ride (tuition, room and board, etc). And for another program the $$ they have offered make it quite affordable, and it’s just based on academics.</p></li>
<li><p>Make this a joint effort. Having a spouse as I do with amazing organizational skills was paramount to this process. I think this has to be a joint parent/child effort; I know my D simply would not have had the time to do all the juggling of audition dates, application deadlines, etc without help. So I would advise setting out a list early on as to what the child needs to be in charge of, what the parents will be in charge of, with regular sit downs as to progress, etc. Otherwise the process can easily overwhelm you. As for other things parents can do…</p></li>
<li><p>Be quiet. Not during the trips to schools and auditions; the auditions I went on and the time I got to spend with my D during those trips, and the conversations we had, etc will stay with me forever. It was a very special time for me. But once you get there, I learned you have to be quiet and not push the program directors, faculty, etc, etc. My questions during Q and A sessions focused on campus safety (can you tell I have a daughter) and finances. I deliberately stayed out of asking specifics about the training program per se, because I was told by our audition coach that you don’t want to look like a helicopter, obsessive stage parent. I felt that was good advice. Auditions are a stressful enough time for your child. Being that type of parent would only add to the stress (and I saw that happen to kids more than once during my trips).</p></li>
<li><p>And just be there. That’s the best thing a parent can do. For someone like me who is trained as a scientist and is used to having objective data on which to base decisions, I found the entire audition process to be frustrating beyond belief. It is to me completely subjective, and although I should be used to this after my D performing for 7 years now, it’s still mystifying. So I try to just be there. When there are tears, we tried to be encouraging. When the diva-ish stuff came out, we became more stern. More than once we asked whether this was really what my D wanted to do given the subjective nature of the business. But we were there. That was the key. </p></li>
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<p>So now we’re almost done. My D should hear from her last two programs in the next day or so. She has one acceptance in hand to a very good MT program. And she (and we) have also learned to expect the unexpected. She has also been accepted to a very good acting/theater BFA program, so now she will not only have to decide between schools, but whether she sees herself more as a MT performer or straight theater performer! So in the end, for her the process allowed her to realize her dream, brought us closer together as a family, and gave us experiences and memories that we will always remember. Not bad for a senior year!</p>