<p>Normally I would not participate in this discussion since we are not that far away, but I spent all morning staring at bus, train, and plane schedules and feel like an expert! To give you an idea of what one set of logistics looks like:</p>
<p>Daughter is 6 hours away. Us going to Decatur means either Husband doing a 12-hour drive in one day, or spending the night in a motel. Also means an extra day of vacation for him. (New job, limited vacation.) The entire 12 hours is in what my Husband calls "God's Country", which seems to mean to me very flat, very boring and no Starbucks.</p>
<p>So instead, to get Daughter home for Thanksgiving, after her last class on Tuesday, she is catching a ride from Decatur to Urbana-Champaigne to catch a 6:00 flight to Detroit. Husband works half way between here and the airport, so he will just stay at work until he picks her up at 8:30. On that Sat, she is either taking the train or a bus from Jackson to Chicago so that she can spend some time with Boyfriend & his Parents. Sunday, they are putting her on a bus from Chicago to Decatur. The entire trip is costing us about $200 round trip. Flying round trip that weekend is in the neighborhood of $550. </p>
<p>Christmas time, Husband will drive out there to pick her up, and later to drop her off. But that is his choice.</p>
<p>She will not be home for Spring Break. Instead she'll take a 12-hour bus ride to Pittsburgh to see Boyfriend.</p>
<p>Now, my big concern is her Brother should have a lead in the high school Musical in March, and I want to get her back here to see him. That will probably consist of paying the gas to get one of her MT friends to bring her back for the weekend.</p>
<p>Peg</p>
<p>P.S. Change in plans. She doesnt LIKE what we came up with. The plane and bus dont bother it. Its not enough time with Boyfriend</p>
<p>Fortunately, we have an empty nest now so no worries about activities at home. D will spend Thanksgiving with her bro who has continued to live in LA after graduation and her aunt who also lives there. Saw that SW Air is offering relatively reasonable flights b/w BOS and LAX and am contemplating broaching the trip to H, but D will come home three weeks later, so better to save the $ for a family vacation when S returns for Xmas.</p>
<p>DD's first choice schools are on the opposite coast. BUT we have a close family relative there. She knows that she will not be coming home at Thanksgiving....and then two weeks later for Christmas. It's just too expensive. She will spend Thanksgiving with the relatives. They are really happy about that, and at this point so is she.</p>
<p>I think the points are well taken re travel hassle and ability to have spur-of-moment visits, see kid in action on the stage/playing field, come home for all breaks, etc.</p>
<p>However, I don't think it's a bi-coastal issue. I imagine the cutoff point is different for different folks, but for me if it isn't within about a 3 hour drive, the result is almost the same. S' final 2 choices were (A) 400 miles (B) 1600 miles. (A) = 8 hours drive if all goes well; (B) =6 hours flight if all goes well. So there's not really 4x the difference even if there's 4x the miles. </p>
<p>I don't think a kid who will want to come home for frequent weekends, or who will want parents to visit frequently will put a long distance school on his wish list, will he? On the other hand, a kid who has a specific program in mind won't settle for a "local" that doesn't have it and a kid who wants college time to also be explore a different world time won't choose nearby.</p>
<p>So, it comes down to, "can the logistics be handled?" Yes, they can. Sometimes with inconvenience. Depends on the individual priorities and, maybe, "family experience" with travel. DH and I both traveled extensively and at the drop of a hat in our careers and have moved cross country in both directions. So while we don't like a "travel day" more than anyone else, we just take it as what comes with the territory.</p>
<p>D is on east coast and we are on the west. Best advice I can give -- a family plan, nationwide cell phone plan and she keeps our area code -- almost all kids have nationwide and keep home area code. That means our landline calls to her are free and vice versa and cell to cell is free. If all things are equal, pick a school that doesn't take hours on the ground to get to after hours in the air. I am so grateful now that Jet Blue started flying Burbank to JFK -- it has simplified things immensely -it's still two plus hours on the ground there but it's non-stop. The stress of weather delaying connecting flights is something I am happy to be living without. Even so, from our door to hers is still at least ten hours. Order as much online as possible, try to pack as little as possible and buy winter clothes there if you come from a warm climate. Then the clothes can just be stored over summer. Each school does storage differently but I have now seen that ziplock makes giant bags -- most things don't stay very fresh in a basement -- e.g. clothing and bedding. Go with a laptop.</p>
<p>This is Cangel's daughter. I found someone to go home with over Thanksgiving holidays, so it won't be home, but it won't be dorm food either. I had a hard time with all of the stuff too because I couldn't buy it at home, and so I have to rely on online shopping here.</p>
<p>jmmom
Excellent summation!
You said it better than I ever could've.Each student,each family situation is different.
In an interesting conversation with D(now grad student..far away undergrad,halfway back grad locale..where she went knowing absolutely no one) who is helping S with his college choices..she said she liked being one of the only ones from her home state in her undergrad..not one of the herd..but of course, this was a personal opinion..many students would enjoy just the opposite situation.</p>
<p>As a parent of a new freshman my views have now changed a little over the last few weeks. Mine wanted to go far from home. We supported that decision.
What we have learned is that the cost of air travel varies widely and it is not dependent on the distance. Pre Katrina D was at a school 2 or 3 flights away from home and we did not plan on having her come home for Thanksgiving. Her new school is a 2 1/2 hour direct flight from our home but the cost of travel between the cities is so high that coming home for a weekend or us going to see her is cost prohibitive. We don't live near a large airport. Whereas friends who live in a large west coast city and son is at school in the east find that they can travel back and forth for a minimal amount.
I know just this past week when my D was so ill she ended up in the hospital emergency room all alone I wished she was in a city driving distance away I would have been there for her.</p>