The long (financial) road to matriculation...

<p>Some of you may remember me. I applied last year, part of the class of '04, to a bunch of schools all over the country. I was accepted to many, waitlisted at a few, and ultimately ended up at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN. I posted several threads on the old boards at CC dealing with my financial and personal issues with attending many of the schoools. You thought I would fade into oblivion, didn't you? Rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated - especially by engineering homework :).</p>

<p>Although it may be a little too early for me to become an old cranky geezer at the age of 18, when I created this thread, I thought I had something wise (not really) and deep (not so much) to share. Well, maybe you don't think so, but I'm here and I'm going to tell it anyway. Here it is:</p>

<p>I had a problem when I applied to schools that is common to many, many of us. I needed money to attend a good private school. When the acceptances started coming in, I had my heart set on one school, a very prestigious one (which is a load of hooey if you ask me). And, joy of joys, they accepted me! But alas, the money was not forthcoming in the quantities I needed, and after much deliberation, consultation with everyone from my parents to my counselors to CC to my psychic (just kidding about the last one!), I decided to go where the money was - here at Vandy, which I am proud to call my university. And here I am, a year out, when acceptances are starting to come on the table and the stress of admissions is starting to be replaced by another, even greater stress, the stress of decision.</p>

<p>I am here to tell you that, in my case, the extra $100,000 or so was better not spent. I have flourished at the university, taking part in activities ranging from teaching middle schoolers science to expanding my horizons with public lectures on whatever strikes my interest to becoming more of an activist to really just being free for the first time in my life (and so older folks tell me, the last). A lot of this peace of mind and joy comes from not having to have a job, from not having to be constantly worried about loan payments, and from not straining beyond the breaking point my parents' and my resources.</p>

<p>Many people forget this when they are deciding between schools. I know I did. Let me tell you something. On Sunday night, when your laundry basket is overflowing, you've got a paper to write by the next day and a test the next, and you're stressed beyond belief, you don't CARE what your school's name is. If that's all that's stopping you, or some image of the school created by your classmates or the admissions office when you go for your cursory hours-long or day-long visit, you're on the wrong track in picking schools. As I go along, I care less and less about these superficial issues, and more and more about the education I'm receiving. Let me tell you about something I found out about.</p>

<p>I enrolled in an abstract algebra course this semester. It's extremely challenging - entirely proof based with problems to match. On the first problem set we had to prove one part of the Continuum Hypothesis, one of the deepest problems in modern mathematics (the rest of which is undecideable, as I'm sure the mathematically inclined here are aware). I spent 5 hours on that problem and didn't solve it. I was frustrated. So was the rest of the class. But slowly, as I improved, the teacher began to take notice of me. We began to have regular e-mail correspondance about math. I began reading up on the latest journals, even though I still can't understand most of what goes on (I doubt even professional mathematicians do!). But that's not the point. The point is, this summer, I will probably have a research internship with this professor in two of my major interests - math and computer science. Just like that. Your mileage may vary of course, but the point is, if you are well motivated enough, you will find opportunities at ANY school you attend, let alone the ones just below the very top.</p>

<p>You may ask - well, what about the students? Are there students I match with well intellectually? I mean, their average SAT is 50 points below mine, of course they are not my intellectual equals, right? Let me break your first illusion: No matter where you go, there will be people who just don't get it, just like high school. It'll just be a matter of proportion of who and how many. I've found the greatest group of friends and a girlfriend who I love very much. We enjoy ourselves greatly without alcohol or any of the other vices associated with college students (except staying up late and sleeping late, if that's even a vice (more like an added bonus, I'd say :))). I could go on forever about how infectious everyone's enthusiasm for their hobbies and interests are, but that's a good college experience for you, so get out there and shape your own.</p>

<p>I know everyone's situation is different, and my problems may not be yours. But consider this: a backup or match school isn't just a backup if you don't get in somewhere "more selective" by some arbitrary criterion. It's a living, breathing place with myriad opportunities just waiting for some creative individual like yourself to search out and find. And in the end, if you can save yourself the stress and worry and pain and agony of having the name, you'll find you can make a life for yourself better than it's ever been. I am happy to say that here, I am the happiest I've ever been. And that's all I could ever ask for.</p>

<p>Now that I'm done preaching, you can commence with the booing and hissing. It's 3:00 AM, I should be sleeping instead of writing :(. Please forgive the quality of the writing; I haven't had to put together a coherent paragraph since last semester's philosophy class.</p>

<p>Evil_Robot:
Welcome back! Glad to hear Vandy is working out for you. Keep up updated - and not just when you can't get to sleep at 3:00 am :) .</p>

<p>Evil Robot:
I love your post. It makes me think of my S's hs, though Vandy is plenty prestigious while his hs is a rather mixed bag.. My S has a great group of friends and they enjoy themselves very much. I'll show your post to him. He plans on taking abstract algebra in college and he will be interested to know about your internship.
Thanks for sharing your experience. You may wish to post again in April when parents amd students are comparing acceptances and financial offers. Yours is a great reality check.</p>

<p>No boos or hisses from hear, just applause--long, applause--standing ovation--encore. The posts have started to creep in as the EFCs have come out. And that shock has set in too as kids and families who always believed they were scraping by, but doing the right things, get a number that basically means an austerity regiment, pounding salt and worry, worry, worry about the finances. Is it worth it? For some it would be. Of course the difference between North East Local State College and Any Top 50 Private U is going to be wider than what you find between any two selective schools. The primary difference is the suitcase or commuter component of the former, whereas schools that have a strong, vibrant community are not going to be as different. </p>

<p>I had just posted that I am seeing more and more kids flocking to Tulane, Vandy, Miami where top students are getting merit awards. When the choice is between one of those schools or a familiar school, the kids are venturing out, and that is an excellent thing.</p>

<p>What I would love to see as the next step is for kids who are going to the truly less selective schools venturing out of their one hour radius. I keep hinting about a narrative guide for such schools which would be so helpful. One big drawback they have is a lack of community because so many kids are local. It would make a big difference in the hierarchy of colleges, I believe.</p>

<p>Good luck to you, ER. Keep in touch and your story is ever so relevant today. Your name is still often invoked on the CC boards.</p>

<p>Loved your post, ER. Please keep posting!! You're the hero of CC.</p>

<p>Evil - wasn't here on the old cc (but have heard of you!). I, too, loved your post and hope you are posting it now, and again in April, on the appropriate student-frequented threads.</p>

<p>Greatly appreciate your post. I would also love to hear from others who went the same route as you. My son is looking at a school where he is considerably above the average statistics (about 200 points on the SAT). I think it is a school where he would be happy, but am concerned whether it will provide sufficient challenges.</p>

<p>Evil,</p>

<p>Thank you for the fabulous post and for bringing some perspective to a process that can easily be blown all out of proportion. My son was rejected EA from the school which you chose not to attend for financial reasons. He has recently been admitted to the Honors Program at the University of Michigan. We are awaiting word from 8 more schools in about a month. Like you, we will likely be forced into some difficult decisions, but like you, we realize that my son is in control of his college experience and that he has the opportunity to make great things happen ANYWHERE. </p>

<p>I am very glad that you have found true happiness and success at Vanderbilt. I wish you all the best in the future--with a perspective like yours, you cannot lose!</p>

<p>~berurah</p>

<p>Wonderful post! Good enough to publish, too. It is well written, and would be of great benefit to lots of students and parents who are pondering college decisions!</p>

<p>Thanks for taking the time to share your wisdom with others.</p>

<p>Hi ER, glad to have you back. Glad to hear you are still happy.
Moderators, this one deserves to be a featured thread.</p>

<p>ER, you still have a home here on CC and are never far from our thoughts. we are so glad that our collective "child' is happy and thrving his first year (love is a good thing). Thanks for letting everyone know that your entire sense of self does not have to be all tied up in one school. The great thing about dreams is that we can always dream new dreams. Your life at Vandy surely shows that. It's a great post and we wish you all the best. Call home a little more often as the rents miss hearing from you</p>

<p>CAngel:
...just so long as it doesn't get labelled 'Thread of Evil'.... (oh, sorry - I forgot I'm not running for elected office :) ).</p>

<p>ER, I have printed your wise words and will pass them on to my daughter and her status-driven friends...Thanks so much.</p>

<p>Evil-Robot
Thank you for a wonderful post. You have come back at the right time, when so many parents and students are finding themselves in the same place you were last year. And even though we all know deep down, that one can find success and happiness in many places, it's heartening to hear it from you.</p>

<p>This should absolutely be a featured thread -- the perfect "counterpoint" to the endless parade of threads obsessing about rankings, (so-called) prestige, and other "boogey-men" arguments. To his credit, ER has learned some important life lessons without having to pay the financial costs of learning these life lessons (many aren't so lucky). Hopefully others can keep these thoughts in mind lest they fall into the trap of thinking that there are just a few select "bests" and then -- many steps down -- all the rest. It's simply not true.</p>

<p>ER, I remember you very, very well from the old CC board and I am not only happy that you are doing so well, but that you generously chose to share your wisdom on this board!</p>

<p>I couldn't agree more with this:

[quote]
No matter where you go, there will be people who just don't get it, just like high school. It'll just be a matter of proportion of who and how many.

[/quote]

You can ALWAYS find your intellectual equals at any school, and as you have learned, you can always find brilliant professors if you really look (and really have an interest in something!)</p>

<p>I did grad work in philosophy of mathematics - learn Godel and you will be stunned and amazed at the beautiful elegance of his proofs. There is a new book out that really gets it right: Rebecca Goldstein's "Incompleteness: the Proof and Paradox of Kurt Goedel." It just came out and was reviewed in the NY Times.</p>

<p>Best of luck and keep us posted!</p>

<p>Voronwe</p>

<p>There is something about those who were accepted at Yale but ended up attending another school: a wonderful combination of brilliance and humility. Did you notice how he commented on the issue of his peers having a SAT about 50 points lower? He could have added that their SAT are ... 1550. </p>

<p>Evil, I am proud to know you, even if it is only in the virtual world of CC. Thank you for taking the time to post.</p>

<p>Great essay! Should get you into Harvard easy!! :)</p>

<p>It is great to get feedback (rare I assume?) from students after they go through all the application/admissions chances/choices decisions rigormoral.</p>

<p>The part I liked the best was how you appreciate that a large part of your enjoyment comes from the freedom you have in college - adult privileges without most of the responsibility. I think it is rare that a student appreciates this while he has it. </p>

<p>More typically you look back on this time in your life with these feelings. I really admire you for being able to enjoy it while it is happening!</p>

<p>
[quote]
really just being free for the first time in my life (and so older folks tell me, the last). A lot of this peace of mind and joy comes from not having to have a job, from not having to be constantly worried about loan payments, and from not straining beyond the breaking point my parents' and my resources.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Evil_robot and Xiggi (+ some others on this board) are two young men which make me proud of the younger generation (they will be the engines of tomorrows technology which will help retain our edge in the world, and help my retirement portfolio grow and SS checks coming). The boards have benefited from them and I am sure CC has helped them grow too. The owners of this site should really feel good about the wealth of resources these free forums provide.</p>

<p>ER: Way to go! Having read many of your posts, I never doubted that you were headed for success and fulfillment somewhere.</p>