^youre right, we are looking at true Jr boarding schools, if she decides not to wait…thanks, though! So glad you found “the one”!!
We’re struggling with what to do if feelings are still mixed after revisit day. All in all, it was a very nice day at school A, but by far the most illuminating moments came while talking to other parents, many of whom had multiple older kids who had been through the process at a wide array of schools. It left me questioning how much a school culture can really change in 5 or so years, if there are any schools that are truly inclusive of all community members, and whether a school experience can be both “joyless” and “absolutely the right fit.”
DS liked the teachers and admins, liked his host student and some of host student’s friends, but was clear that he didn’t feel like the majority of the students he met were people he would be friends with. We also had a little red flag about academic fit. It’s a wonderful, warm, lovely school, but we came away even more unsure if it’s the right school for him.
Have another revisit on Friday, and we’ve told him Saturday is decision day, period. Fingers crossed he loves the school on Friday, even though he had serious reservations after the interview, because if it’s another “I’m just not sure…” I think we can’t, in good conscience, send him to BS, and he will attend LPS.
Fingers crossed for you @momof3nyc. Don’t take the red flags lightly and listen to your gut.
@momof3nyc I think one of the schools you are considering is PEA. If it would be helpful, I am happy to answer any specific questions you have on culture, academics etc… that you have after revisit day. Just PM me. I have had 4 kids attend- 3 loved it- 1 hated it- so I totally understand how important fit is. Looking back, we never should have allowed the one to attend- but of course it wasn’t clear to us at the time the reasons it was a terrible fit for her.
If your son would like to talk to a current student about questions he might have- I am happy to connect him with my daughter Via phone or email, she is a current upper. She would be happy to give him her perspective on what’s it actually like as a student at PEA. Just send me a PM and we can discuss how to best connect them.
Good luck at making the best decision for you child and family. I am sure he will do great whatever path he takes!
I revisited PEA last week, and I finally decided that I’ll be going there next year! A lot of the revisit day was really great, and I hit it off with several other rising Preps, however… my Experience Exeter guide was a day student. As someone who is going to be living almost 1000 miles away from home, that kinda sucked. All of the people she introduced me to were day students as well, so none of them could really answer my questions about dorm life. Ultimately, it wasn’t that big of a deal; I still had a great time in classes and I’m still very excited and sure of my decision. I also learned a lot about dorm life from the student panel-but I still haven’t actually seen the inside of an Exeter dorm. Has anyone else had an experience like this? Most of the revisit day was so well thought out, so it seems strange to me that they would pair a boarder with a day student.
@momof3nyc Didn’t you answer the public school decision letter already? Its due was by Mar. 26. And if the fantastic school you mentioned before is Stuy, I’d rather recommend you to choose PEA. Although Stuy provides many options for bright kids, all of DD’s friends, including us, have given up this fantastic school for private day schools in New York. Almost two weeks ago, DD and I signed up the enrollment contract right after we rejected the SOHS offer.
Back to LPS, over more than seven years of my watching, I have seen only one kid who enjoyed this school. Many of them barely managed the school works and its extracurricular activities. They were very busy and became dull after six to seven months after the beginning of the school year. On SHSAT, these kids’ performance was about lower 580s to upper 620s. The kids above 630s, however, were to reside the school quickly and showed the decent performance at the same time around five to six months later.
In my opinion, kids’ perspectives are more important than any other factors. Many pros and cons about the school, but I am concerned about its skewed pool and surroundings. So I only recommend my neighbors to join this fantastic public school if they have no other options compared to its quality of education. Wish you to make a wise decision about the school!
@emro12 congratulations on your decision to become an Exonian! Feel free to pm me with and questions you might have as we have had 4 board at PEA. Happy to connect you with my daughter a current upper at PEA If you have more questions about dorm life.
@knowmore We had two public school offers (specialized and screened) and accepted one, as we still weren’t sure what we were going to do re: BS. Now that he has officially enrolled, we will contact the DOE and let them know he will not be attending the school we accepted last month. One of the major factors was the commute - he’s been commuting pretty far for the last three years, and didn’t want to have to commute for the next 4. Happy the decision has been made and we can all take a deep breath! Thank you to this community for the great support 
@momof3nyc Congratulation to all of you! And good to see you as a prep parent. Like you, DD got two public offers: one for Stuy, and the other BECHS Queens. In addition, she got three Catholic offers. ^.^ Above all, commuting was the big issue to us. Seeing another four years commuting to Manhattan is one last thing to do. So it was one big reason we seriously considered the SHOS offer. Although it was hard to make a decision, once done, it is clear what to do next.
When signing up the enrollment contract, you will receive an email regarding PEA parent portal login id. Just follow the directions. Then, you can log in the parent portals for further information. Surfing the information as well as reading these school-provided program brochures are to reassure that you made a right choice. The best thing I found is PEA does provide the Direct shuttle to NYC (GC, Penn, or JFK). =D>
As we got happy to join the community, I believe you will love all these. Once again, happy to see you in the same boat. Wish to ask each other for further questions and feel free to pm me.
Hi, @vegas1 DD will join as a prep this fall. Would it be okay to pm you if any questions come to mind? ^:)^
@knowmore congratulations to you and your daughter. PM me with any and all questions you might have.
@knowmore DS accepted an offer to Townsend Harris, but he debated for ages whether to rank TH or BHSEC first! Did your DD go to the admitted students reception in NYC? I think my son may have met her - I know he spent some time talking to another incoming prep from Queens…
@vegas1 Sincerely thank you.
@momof3nyc Yep. We went there. Check your pm.
I am sick inside after hearing my sons BS decision… perhaps dying. He is taking the easy way, following his older brother and in the process significantly downgrading. Nothing to do but cry at night and support him during the day.
@Brookview - What happened? Rival school?
@Brookview as far as downgrading…is it possible he’s wanting to stay a big fish in a small pond? Perhaps he has a very articulate reason for choosing as he did. I know my DS thrives with peer competition and really wanted to be where he was surrounded by “top students” so he wouldn’t be necessarily at the top anymore. He hoped this would push him harder than he’d been pushed. Meanwhile, DD who is just as bright as DS would absolutely crumple in that environment. She is harder on herself than anybody could be and to be surrounded by those smarter than her would be too overwhelming. I think if you can calmly voice your concerns and he can explain why he’s choosing as he is…and you can explain why you may think it’s nit the best fit, you’ll both come out feeling better about things—and who knows…one of you may have an epiphany along the way.
Hugs…it’s hard to stand by when we think our kiddos could do better.
@PhotographerMom well it is the rival of the school I attended, but I got over that when his older brother chose to be one of the “bad guys” :))
@buuzn03 thank you for your advice. I will take it to heart. I think my son needs the motivation of being around those that are driven academically and I fear that will not be the case at the school of his choice. I fear that he will lose his academic motivation where the need to fit in reigns supreme. Boats rarely rise above the tide!
No doubt, there would have been challenges at my preference, but it was a once in a lifetime chance for him to break the family mold and I was hopeful he would grab it, embrace it and make it his own.
I love him and support him but I have concern and I will do my best to make him aware of those concerns so that he can strive to make the most out of his experience.
Anyone struggling with writing rejection letters?
I struggled with saying no to a school now they gave me more financial aid @MaxLMZ
It is so common for schools to get those letters…don’t stress about it. Just keep it short, sweet and professional. You can practice for later in life when you decide not to go with a job candidate. Dear X, Thank you for seeing something special in me. Although you have an incredible establishment, I’ve decided to go another route. Sincerely…
Something to that effect…trust me, they are used to these letters and won’t give it another thought once they’ve read it.