<p>I hate stupidly becoming infatuated with guys that I’ve never met in real life who are younger than me and are totally in love with other girls and falsely believe that I like their friend instead. I hate how complicated this all is.</p>
<p>Random thoughts:
I hate getting basically no sleep because I procrastinate all the time and senior year is kicking my ass with its ridiculous workload. I hate my school for giving me a ridiculous workload. No, [Insert Teacher Here], yours is not the only class that I’m taking and I don’t, in fact, have all night to spend doing your pointless assignments. I hate my school for being so freaking small and my class of 90 for having 20 less girls than guys, and all the ones worth going for are already taken. I hate that I’m so shy/awkward and have a complete lack of self-confidence. I hate being one of like five Indians at a predominantly (95%) white school, also contributing to my nonexistent track record with girls. I hate that I moved to said school in freshman year and I’ve never had enough time/energy to make friends outside of my tiny school. I hate that the “friends” that I’ve made at my school don’t care enough to make any plans with me on weekends. No one invites me to anything and they don’t particularly care that I feel excluded. I hate that I asked out the girl I like (my first time ever asking out a girl) only to find out that she’s still dating a ******bag who’s a freshman in college right now that’s probably cheating on her. She still really wants to be “just friends” though, but apparently not good enough friends to ever hang out. I hate that all my friends around me are finding love while I feel like I’m destined to never find someone for me. I hate that I felt horribly sick all this week but had so much to do that I couldn’t take even one day off. And because of this, I bombed my audition for my school’s musical that I was looking forward to all year so they decided to cut me even though I’m a senior and have been with the program for the past 2 years. They gave parts to freshmen over me. And I know I have a much better voice than I did at the audition. Now I honestly have no idea what I’m going to do all winter. I hate that I’m so uncertain about my college plans and my life plans because even though I think I know what I want to do, there’s a large doubt in the back of my mind. I hate feeling so scared of the future because I feel burned out already and it only gets harder from here. I hate my parents for putting unnecessary stress on me about college apps even though they aren’t due for a while. Basically, I hate my entire life right now.
Edit: wow, didn’t realize it would be this long; had a lot to get off my chest</p>
<p>Part 2?
It’s so freaking cold where I live. All the time. I want to get the hell out of here. I decided not to play football this year after playing for the past two years and instead stayed with the team as the manager because I couldn’t let go of all my friends. Huge regrets about that. My college essay sucks. Majorly. I don’t understand what’s going in my classes right now at all, especially Physics C. My Physics C teacher doesn’t actually teach us anything. We’re basically teaching ourselves Physics C right now. And his tests are really, really, really hard. I can’t find any motivation to do all the school work that I’m behind on and it’s just compounding. I’m so tired all the time. I’m too nice of a person so I’m too much of a pushover but I can’t bring myself to be mean. Did I mention this girl that I like? I hate that I bottle up my emotions most of the time and although I’m a chill person I feel terrible most of the time. I hate that I sometimes wonder if anyone would ACTUALLY care if I just disappeared forever. I don’t really think anyone would. (Don’t worry if you’re reading this, which you probably aren’t, I’m not suicidal at all, just really *<strong><em>ed off/sad right now). I just had the worst week of my life and I think I’m gonna go to sleep and try to piece it all together slowly. *</em></strong> my life. That is all.</p>
<p>Sigh… I hate the fact that I’m unsure of my life. My parents fail to understand the fact that my work is primarily computer-based, and don’t want the best for me. As a black guy, I’ve had troubles with girls, without them saying racist ****. And… My parents have failed to come up with a logical argument anymore</p>
<p>WHAT is with me picking up addictions quickly.
I am so OCD over the smallest things…</p>
<p>Colorado is really goddamn far away for my mind to keep wandering there to see him. It’s so distracting during class.</p>
<p>I wish UW had rolling admissions. I don’t know if I can wait until March to know if I’m in or not because the longer I wait the more doubtful I become of my credentials… =(</p>
<p>I wish this guy would stop asking me out and calling me and generally making things awkward. I wish I did not have to get a root canal next week. I wish my SAT scores were higher, I hate that it is November, I hate college aplications, I don’t want to do homework, I can’t *<strong><em>ing wait for college, because my school is so small, and old, and I’m tired of it! I wish I were smarter, I wish guys would stop asking me out because I have no *</em></strong>ing time for a relationship, nor do I want one. I just want to be someone else.</p>
<p>calculus ab what the ****?</p>
<p>I’ve been to two shops (one a supermarket the other a department store) and they both don’t sell what I want to buy! Geez.</p>
<p>I don’t know if there’s a rule against posting too often…</p>
<p>…but I freakin’ hate how exhausted I always am. It’s inexplicable. Indescribable. And I can’t seem to get rid of my general lack of energy. I swear–I slept ELEVEN hours last night! That’s ridiculous! I don’t have time to sleep that much, and so at the very least, I should have felt extremely well-rested today, and knocked out a bunch of my homework.</p>
<p>But of course not. Of course not–Life wouldn’t be that kind. I fell asleep on “Paradise Lost” at SEVEN in the evening, and woke up 2 hours later. Meaning I now am completely screwed, homework-wise.</p>
<p>Spanish :/</p>
<p>that, and the lack of conversation with hot guys</p>
<p>I hate gangster wannabes, emo faggots, school prostitutes, kids who think they’re hard because they smoke weed, kids who keep crying over one mark they lost in an exam, pretentious kids who think they’re smart because they got that bonus mark.
Hmm, that’s all I have on my mind now.</p>
<p>
I thought no one had sex or smoked weed in your school.</p>
<p>School prostitutes as in girls who like to pretend to be like whores and are always getting stuff for free just because they’re good looking. I don’t mean it literally.
Some failures do smoke Hashish here, there are failures everywhere. I’m not sure if that’s weed in the US.</p>
<p>boys who lie. GARGHGRHSGD
if I could smack a b****</p>
<p>
■■■■■■ is slang for cigarette. Why would you call someone an “emo cigarette?” :|</p>
<p>*<strong><em>ing ACT is a *</em></strong>ing ■■■■■■■■ test</p>
<p>just a waste of my time</p>
<p>on to the harder but more legit SAT</p>
<hr>
<p>lol Andurz</p>
<p>people who are obsessed with themselves and think they are all that need to SCREW OFF!</p>
<p>“■■■■■■ is slang for cigarette.” -> I thought that was just ‘■■■’.</p>