<p>Understandably the the 'purpose' of the personal statement is to make a statement that is personal. I'm not trying to be facetious-- honestly--, but what exactly does a *good * personal statement entail? College admissions officers are obviously looking for essays that accentuate personal qualities in individuals, but how so? Are they looking for essays that depict the writer in a positive light, such as an interesting story about a great individual achievement? Or would an essay describing an experience that significantly affected the writer in a negative manner suffice?</p>
<p>I'm thinking about writing an essay about an experience I had in which I was heavily criticized both cruelly and anonymously. While the event has definitely made me more insecure in that criticized aspect, I feel that aspect of myself is a deeply personal issue that I could write about eloquently and specifically. Of course I will include my reflection of the experience, but I don't want admissions officers to think I'm some vulnerable freak. I mean, everyone has their insecurities, right? Will this approach not make me appear more... "real"?</p>
<p>Thanks ahead of time for your responses. =]</p>
<p>I think you’ll want to tread carefully here. You want to seem “real” but you don’t want to necessarily show a negative side of yourself unless you can show that you have learned and grown from this negative experience. If all the experience did was highlight your insecurities, I would advise against writing about it. If, however, you have been able to take this negative experience as a learning experience and improved upon those insecurities, then it could be a great essay!</p>
<p>I’m certainly not an admission’s officer (being a student myself), but here are my thoughts on the elements of a functional personal statement:</p>
<p>1) Answer the direct question (and anticipated ones).</p>
<p>The direct prompt might read: Tell us a little about your most interesting class, while the extended, un-cut dvd-only release might reveal something else: Tell us a little about your most interesting class, why you would be a good fit in this school, and why we should admit you.</p>
<p>2) Be original.</p>
<p>I view the personal statement as a conversation you are having with an admissions officer. How would you talk to someone in a coffee shop? What about a close friend you confide in? Try to talk in a way that you’d think would be interesting. Tone, diction, and syntax can make a conversation lively. I know that a lack of variety has certainly resulted in me fighting off yawns in lectures that covered material I found fascinating. </p>
<p>Perhaps you could try to picture yourself as an admissions officer and think of what you would see if you were to read other peoples essays. This is your chance to show that you are a unique individual with distinct interests, as opposed to applicant #2079. You dont want to sound like 50 other people. How would you be remembered?</p>
<p>3) Share a piece of your own philosophy</p>
<p>Say something about what you believe in, something personal. What motivates you? What captivates you? What happened when a pragmatic world collided with your idealistic aspirations?</p>
<p>4) Be consistent.</p>
<p>I have often wondered just how in the world the person on the other side would know that what Im saying describes who I really am. How would they know that the essay wasnt a lie, some concocted bio from a Marvel Superhero comic book insert? If you cant prove truth, then you can provide consistency. If you speak in a way that is natural and introduce what you are truly passionate about, there will be an aura that glows from the entire paper. Someone who BSs will more likely speak or act in ways that are inconsistent with what they are touting.</p>
<p>I think that you’d fulfill echan’s criteria 2 and 3 just from your topic.
When’s this essay due? If it’s for next year’s class, I would write both this essay and another topic (have it be a very different topic), and compare your rough drafts for each (I’ll read them too if you want). Whichever’s better, refine that one to perfection.
Heck, I would recommend anyone to write a rough draft of multiple ideas before commiting to one. Don’t lock yourself in on one idea.</p>
<p>There is some good advice on that link. Whoever wrote that “good” essay is a skillful writer and I could feel teardrops beginning to condense at the edges of my eyes just reading the couple lines of the excerpt about the cancer experience.</p>
<p>However, that link doesn’t address the question of this thread–does the personal statement have functions? The advice doesn’t analyze what the meat is supposed to be; rather, it presents a critique and comparison between three different marinades. Indeed, one might read that link and think that there is no actual purpose of the personal statement beyond a demonstration of word command and an integration of colorful or metaphorical imagery. That admissions dean even says, “A good essay is not good because of the topic but because of the voice.”</p>
<p>Or, maybe I’m mistaken and there really is no deeper purpose to the personal statement (I really don’t know the answer).</p>
<p>Do you have another link where an admission’s officer talks about personal statement content?</p>
<p>Right. The above link only describes the importance of voice in the personal statement and what delineates a bad essay from a good essay. My question, as suggested in the post above, is more content related. In essence, the link you provided only suggests that if you have a voice and if you don’t write about something exceedingly risky your personal statement will be good. But if you think about it, that doesn’t make much sense. I’ll try to make my question more clear:</p>
<p>Should my essay be a means for me to show that I’m sweeter than everyone else, or should it focus on conveying the existence of my writer’s voice and my personality?</p>
<p>I know that some of you will be inclined to say both, but pretend that they are mutually exclusive. What is more important?</p>
<p>This is correct imo (assuming good grammar).</p>
<p>The essay is an opportunity to distinguish yourself from other applicants, to show what kind of presence you would be on campus, in class, in a dorm. </p>
<p>Therefore, a helpful essay will imo be personal, detailed, honest, and revealing. As the link said, a helpful essay won’t be a McDonald’s essay. Theoretically, as a target, it will be an essay that no one else on earth could write. </p>
<p>A good topic for you will be one that allows you to be personal, detailed, honest and revealing. Having a topic that no one else ever heard of, say, gecko racing in Antarctica, is not important. It’s not the topic, it’s what you do, what you reveal, with the topic. </p>
<p>To answer your question: imo “focus on conveying the existence of your writer’s voice and personality.”</p>
<p>In my opinion, you should also focus on conveying your personality and voice. The reasoning is as follows:</p>
<p>“Sweeter” is a comparison. In order to show this, you would have to define some sort of pseudo-quantifiable scale of sweetness that you all fit into. Besides being unfair to other students, it would require assumptions and generalizations that you probably couldn’t make. Additionally there’s the issue of whether the admissions officer adheres to the same value scale or whether contest measurement is even found to be a relevant interest in the first place.</p>
<p>I think the better choice is to show them your personality and allow yourself to be judged. Are you personable, funny, or analytical? These traits can be shown through your tone, pacing, and commentary; perhaps uniqueness can be gained through specificity. This leaves you to talk about the actual impacts of any life-changing experience in a more explicit forefront.</p>
<p>I feel the question the OP asked misses the point of the essay. It cannot be objectified; it is the subjective factor in the application. It is you - your ability to think, to write, and to (indirectly) prove your qualifications for admission.</p>
<p>Your essay doesn’t necessarily have to deal with a topic which you are incredibly passionate about as much as it needs to deal with a topic your personal experience has given particular insight into.</p>
<p>An essay can make an application. If you were to pick, I believe it’s more important to choose a subject matter which you can describe critically and thoughtfully than simply to prove you can write an enticing story. Personally, I’d advise you do both, but in the order I listed them. You won’t get too far if you’re writing without an idea.</p>
<p>I’ll leave you with a quote:
If it takes a lot of words to say what you have in mind, give it more thought. Dennis Roth</p>