The Price is Right

Pre-College Topics High School Life
21

<p>@CE527M</p>

<p>Now let me tell you about a little boy named Jimmy.</p>

<p>Jimmy was but 5 years old when he learned about the wonders of the internet. His mother introduced him to the PBS kids website, and he couldn’t get enough of that lovable Big Bird! He was as happy as any child could be.</p>

<p>On his 7th birthday, Jimmy decided he wanted to to email Kelly, a girl he liked from school. He had never used a keyboard before, so he asked his mother to teach him how. After hours of trial and error, Jimmy finally constructed a coherent sentence: “Its really kewl I am typing rite now.” </p>

<p>“No, Jimmy!” his mother scolded. “‘Kewl’ is actually spelled C-O-O-L.”</p>

<p>“And ‘rite’ is spelled ‘R-I-G-H-T’. At least, it is in the way you were using it.”</p>

<p>“Okay, mommy. Is this better?” He corrected the sentence so that it read, “Its really cool I am typing rite now.”</p>

<p>“Yes, much bet-. Wait. Did you just incorrectly use the possessive form of ‘its’ in place of the contracted ‘it is’ form? I thought I’d raised you better!” She stormed out of the room, loudly sobbing.</p>

<p>Jimmy’s father stormed in. </p>

<p>“Now, you put that apostrophe in there THIS INSTANT, young man! You’re a poor excuse for a son.”</p>

<p>Trembling, Jimmy scoured the keyboard for that small, raised mark called an apostrophe. </p>

<p>“Found it!” Jimmy thought.</p>

<p>“It`s really cool that I’m typing right now,” read the final sentence.

Satisfied, and confident in his typing skills, Jimmy messaged Kelly:

"Hey, Kelly! Hows it going? I just wanted to say that you are a really good friend, and Id like to hang out with you more. I`m free Friday night, you down? Sincerely, Jimmy."</p>

<p>Jimmy waited patiently and soon was sweating out of anxiety. He really, really liked this girl. All he wanted was her approval.</p>

<p>He didn’t receive a reply.</p>

<p>The next day, Jimmy caught Kelly’s eye at school. She smirked and waltzed over to where he was sitting.</p>

<p>“Did you honestly think I’d want to go out with you? I only date smart men who know that a grave accent is completely different from an apostrophe. Your email contained three egregious such mix-ups. I just can’t take anyone who does that seriously.”</p>

<p>Jimmy was heartbroken. The love of his life had rejected him, and there was nothing he could do about it.</p>

<p>That wretched grave accent was the culprit. Upon arriving home, Jimmy tore out the key above the left tab in every keyboard in his house. He would never make that mistake again.</p>

<p>Learn from Jimmy’s mistake. Never again think that ` is acceptable. Stop being rejected by beautiful women (or men, in your case), and start using apostrophes.</p>

<hr>

<p>This has been a Public Service Announcement, brought to you by StudiousMaximus.</p>

22

<p>^Thank you so much.</p>

23

<p>Happy to help.</p>

24

<p>Studious, loved it. Is that a true story by any chance ;)?</p>

25

<p>@CE527M: I figured it outrageous enough to dispel any notions of reality. I guess I was wrong. Has my story inspired in you a change of heart?</p>

26

<p>Public service announcements always inspire a change of heart.</p>

27

<p>And I was being sarcastic when I asked if it was a true story, you know. But then again, you may have been too, with your reply.</p>

28

<p>No.
Jeopardy is better.</p>

29

<p>@StudiousMaximus I shed a tear when I read your post.</p>

<p>If it makes you feel any better OP (I’m sorry, your username is amusing but bugging at the same time), I enjoy The Price is Right as well as Let’s Make a Deal when they’re on and I have nothing better to do. I enjoy watching Jeopardy! at night though.</p>

30

<p>Stud,
My hat is off to you. I must give it a solid 10/10. If only teen girls read this charming and utterly brilliant story instead of twilight. Sigh, if that were the case, social media might be easier to ready.</p>

<p>ahh, to philosophize.</p>

<p>(PLEASE READ IN AIRY BRITISH ACCENT)</p>

31

<p>Oh god, studious. I don’t think the wrath of the grave accent has quite yet been thwarted. Check the HS Class of 2015 thread.</p>

32

<p>What is it, CE527M, that makes you so obstinate? Is your apostrophe key broken? I know for a fact that it’s not, since you seem to use quotation marks just fine.</p>

<p>So, please answer this question for us all: why? </p>

<p>I had hope that my gripping, 100% true story would knock some sense into you. </p>

<p>You have 24 hours to change your ways. After a day has passed, your habit will be considered inexcusable. Should you continue to bastardize all that is good and holy, the wrath of CC shall be brought down upon your meager inbox.</p>

<p>Type wisely.</p>

33

<p>What apostrophe <code>s Studious?I didn</code>t realize I was being obstinate. And no, considering I<code>ve been using apostrophe</code>s (4 times in this post alone! :)) I<code>d say that key isn</code>t broken. I always thought I had pretty good grammar. The difference between ’ and <code>doesn</code>t seem to matter too much, but I<code>ll use the ’ from now on if it makes you feel better. I always have used the</code>, because frankly, I’ve never seen much difference.</p>

<p>But, this has thread has strayed. Poor GrammarNazi has not found many that like the same shows.</p>

34

<p>` is a grave accent mark.</p>

<p>’ is an apostrophe.</p>

<p>The difference is obvious, and I can only assume you’re a part-time ■■■■■ for stating that you think you’re actually using the correct mark. Also, you counted incorrectly; it should be 7 in your second parenthetical comment.</p>

<p>And his name is spelled GrammerNazi, not GrammarNazi.</p>

35

<p>Sorry Studious, it<code>s late, I</code>m tired, and I`m not spelling or counting right. </p>

<p>Yes, I do know the difference, but ever since I first learned to type, I<code>ve used the</code> as an apostrophe, and always have, a silly little habit that’s never caused a difference in anything significant. But I’ll to type right to appease you.</p>

36

<p>Just like Jimmy, your ordeal with the grave mark started out early. But I’m supremely glad that you’ve decided to amend your ways.</p>

<p>I’m legitimately surprised that none of your English teachers have noticed and/or pointed out the grave accent you always use. If I were an adcom reading your application, and it was riddled with grave accents, you can bet I’d do a double-take. Your punctuation is the last thing you want an application reader to focus on.</p>

37

<p>^Yeah, thanks for correcting me, no one ever said anything to me, and I’ve had some teachers who have been the type to give bad grades over one error in punctuation/grammar. I guess they just couldn’t bear to give me below an A ;).</p>

38

<p>^Don’t fret about your grave mark errors. I like it- it makes you unique. It’s kind of like dotting your i’s a little differently. </p>

<p>(Studious, you’re being a little harsh, man. Don’t be a grammarnazi…no pun intended)</p>

39

<p>@catch: My intent was to be facetiously harsh, as if it were a life-changing matter to be using grave accents instead of apostrophes. I’m pretty sure CE527M understood the sarcasm.</p>

40

<p>^Haha, yeah Studious, I gotcha on all that. Sarcasm is what makes half these threads funny.</p>