"“In addition, Greek life is a prime example of a power struggle Greek men and women. Because women are not in their own homes, they struggle to say no when approached to return on the investment. If women had parties in their own homes, then, they wouldn’t be do hesitant to say no.”
This is ridiculous. Btw does the same hold for a non-Greek guy holding a party? Are the girls at his party “obligated” to have sex because he set out some chips and dip amd a six pack?
You guys are waaaaay overestimating the “influence” of a frat party, which no girl is forced to go to. When I went, and I didn’t like what was going on, or just wasn’t having a good time, know what I did? I left. No one’s feelings were hurt.
"“If sorority women are in such danger, why do people keep joining sororities? Why do the national chapters put their members in this position?”
No national chapter ever “forces” girls to go to fraternity parties. There are many girls who join just for sisterhood and have no interest in frat parties - maybe they already have boyfriends, or maybe they just prefer other activities, movies, theater, whatever. The girls who go to frat parties choose to be there.
@Pizzagirl Based on your response at #20, #21, and #25, I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you didn’t read the article. In fact, it explicitly asks, and answers this question. It’s under ‘The Solution’ and in subsection 2.
““The findings in this hit close to home,” said one member of a USC sorority. “There have been a number of times when I have had sexual relations in a time when I would by choice elect not to, but in a time where I felt like I had no choice.””
That’s on her. Sorry. Unless she was being physically prevented from leaving.
And women don’t “have to” (go to frat parties). At all. I didn’t go to a lot of them because it’s not my style and you know what the repercussions were? Nothing.
I went to tons of fraternity parties during my college years. (was also a member of a sorority, so we had parties of our own as well) It was free to get into the parties, including free drinks provided.
I never knew any sex was expected!
Then again, isn’t it pretty much expected everywhere you go, these days?
Obligated, didn’t want to, expected… good golly, we’re being bombarded by messaging on college campuses about non-consenual sexual activities, I really hate to read that women feel obligated to have sex and ‘don’t really want to.’ I wonder if that’s why it takes months sometimes for young women to report their sex partners. It’s on surface pretty “ick.” Agree with “Pizza” that it on “on them” if women choose to do this, but really how many of those women are conflicted about their choice? Probably more than we think.
I read in another post that sorority girls ARE obligated to attend these parties sometimes or are fined by their sororities. So I believe at some schools there actually may be some p
While it is all well and good that some people look back on their experience and say I was able to handle the situation and be in control of my destiny, many kids are not as mature. Alcohol impairs judgment and that is the purpose of having parties with free alcohol. You may go with the intent not to drink too much and that resolve diminishes quickly with every sip you take.
There is not a good solution other than banning all alcohol, which is virtually impossible to do.
The short of it is some people consider sex a personal, private, and important thing, and others consider it something to do, like see a movie or read a book. If you believe the former and others believe the latter, that may bother you.
One of my friends in college mentioned her first sexual experience was at age 12 with a guy in his 20s, she didn’t recall his name. They weren’t dating, they met at a party. Apparently it was not uncommon for girls of this age in her echelon (rich in an Asian country) to party with adults. She did not place too much value on sex, and rape was something that was “in the movies” and required significant physical violence. Otherwise it was just too bad, if the girl was drunk or if she was lied to or if she said no and he didn’t believe her.
If someone lives their life as “ick” to others, why is it our business? Do we have to assume people who make bad choices in sex partners must live to regret it? I just don’t get the comparison between women who go out to a party and go home with someone, because they are expected to, versus having sex with an unconscious person or someone who says “no”. It is comparing apples to oranges.
As long as people own their decisions I have no problem. Never have. I’m just not convinced that when young women choose to use the word “obligated” that they all are really “owning” their decision. That is what I find “ick.”