The problem with internships...what do I tell my kid?

Parents Forum
1

<p>Paid internships are pretty much the Holy Grail for a college kid, right? I think we can all agree that it's a great way to try a hat on and wear it around, make connections and hopefully score a job offer at grad time. But lately, I'm wondering if this psuedo employment has been right for my kid and so I'm seeking your collective wisdom on this. I apologize in advance for the long post, it's been stuck on my craw for awhile.</p>

<p>Last summer, my sophomore DS came to intern at my law firm. He's an econ and marketing major and it's a small outfit so he wore many hats. He had a good mix of stuff to work on, for example, he wrote copy for adverts, mocked up in HTML, wrote content for the website, answered phones deftly calming down the litigants, did light bookkeeping and even attended depositions. He proved his mettle on one particular task. Getting ready for trial, we had got in a video surveillance on a CD. Having no real IT dept (i.e., me), the CD had sat unreviewed because no one get it to open either because they sent it in a weird format or we're just over 18 and not tech savvy haha. Anyway, on day one, DS comes in and not only downloaded the right app to open it with, but after viewing it, he summarized it into a page/line digest and from there, wrote a great deposition question outline. The partners were very impressed, best intern ever, LOC blah blah. </p>

<p>His summary of that internship? Being a lawyer is the most boring job ever haha. Okay so to be fair, he's watched me pull a lot of all-nighters too, so I thought ok, legal field not for him, check.</p>

<p>The summer before that, he worked at my DH's ecommerce business, in the warehouse, stocking, running out to make purchases and deliveries, helping out with ad copy and even learned to work a forklift! His takeaway? Blue collar jobs are physically demanding and you get dirty - not for him. okaaaay understood.</p>

<p>This year, he landed a sweet, paid gig directly in his major! A position given mainly to upperclassmen even! He's being paid to learn how to plan events, and he's working directly with booking talent, arranging the vendors and promoting these events on campus. He's making great money and gets paid to attend fun events... so what's the problem? In his words, "I really bleepin' hate marketing, if I have to come up with one more creative copy I'm gonna barf." Ughhh [pounds head on table repeatedly.] </p>

<p>Before you start thinking he's a ne'erdowell, let me say that he so isn't! He's got a great gpa, and in hs, started not one, but two home-based businesses, one repairing Apple products and two, buying and reselling imported candy. He worked both business up to about $2000 in revenue a month and never commuted one day to work! In fact, his customers came to our house! This all at age 17. In addition, his poli-sci prof chose him to speak at a key event and featured him in a video trailer for it, all without him even asking. This year he's been asked to be the keynote speaker! Recently, he started an unpaid internship as Marketing Director for a sustainability type NPO.</p>

<p>So this is not just another brag thread, if you're still with me, my real question is, here's a kid who's gregarious and has more energy than ten bodies, why is each internship turning out worse than the last in his opinion? Do I tell him to switch majors? Do I tell him this is just grunt work and as you move up it gets better? Or, do I tell him all jobs just basically suck mothballs so just deal with it? Has anyone else found internships to be more like shacking up and less like the real thing? Ugh...thanks in advance.</p>

2

<p>Sounds like he wants to be in business but not the marketing side. Nothing wrong with that. What is his actual major?</p>

3

<p>I’m not sure you need to tell him anything. It sounds like he’s got a good head on his shoulders, is ambitious, works hard and is doing exactly what he should be doing at his age. The fact that he complains a bit? Meh. You’re the mom. That’s what we get.
Did you see the thread posted yesterday about this generation and their expectations? if found it pretty funny and somewhat true, although I’m a bit more sympathetic to the genYers.
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1553702-great-cartoon-illustrated-explanation-why-gen-yers-unhappy.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/1553702-great-cartoon-illustrated-explanation-why-gen-yers-unhappy.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Our kids are doing exactly what we did, imo, except that they complain about it more. And, it’s tougher to get the gigs to start with.</p>

<p>No one starts at the top in any industry, unless you start your own business. (When my Dd realized this- that’s exactly what she did. ) I think many of our kids have been raised to believe they can be anything they want to be- but they forget it may take years to get there.
It sounds like your son actually had a pretty interesting summer at your law firm that year, and made some contributions as well. Whether he acknowledges it now or not, he did gain some meaningful experience, which was exactly the point. I don’t think I’d let one expression of frustration (like the latest marketing copy issue) bother me. Is there any worthwhile pursuit that doesn’t involve a lot of hard work and a bit of frustration at times? Heck, we’ve all raised kids. How many times have you said," If I have to do one more (fill in the blank) I’m gonna (whatever)", even to yourself? </p>

<p>My response is based on just this post, and I don’t see any longterm dissatisfaction or depression noted- you’ve painted a healthy picture. I just think he’s venting. He’ll figure it out. I think your job is to find a way not to let it bother you! ;)</p>

4

<p>Sounds like he’s a more hands-on “wants to be his own boss” type. Let him go that route.</p>

5

<p>Part of working and finding your career is figuring out what you don’t want to do. He sounds like a bright kid, and he has very defined opinions about what kind of work he doesn’t like. So maybe eventually he’ll find work he likes (or doesn’t hate).</p>

<p>My daughter had an unpaid internship in marketing then a paid internship for a non-profit where she did a bunch of different things. Now she has a paid part-time job doing research. So far, she isn’t crazy about any of these careers, but I think the work experience has been worthwhile.</p>

6

<p>Those internships sound like they ARE providing valuable learning experiences. Think how much the bell will ring when he finds one that doesn’t make him want to poke his eyes out. </p>

<p>Ultimately, this may be a kid who isn’t cut out working for others.</p>

7

<p>@Tmom haha yes, sad that not wanting to poke your eyes out is the starting point! I don’t think he’s complaining, but maybe I’m projecting a bit here, I personally wanted to do family therapy but was afraid of starving. Nowadays, that’s all I do for my friends for free haha. My first legal job made me want to gouge out my eyes but I stuck it out. Really wished I had gone with my passion. Maybe I just don’t want him to wake up at 50 miserable :&lt;/p>

<p>@Moon, he really never complains, I usually open Pandora’s box by asking him what he likes/doesn’t about his position. He knows he’s gaining valuable experience, and he knows he wants to do more eventually and doesn’t mind paying his dues, my question is though because I know nothing of his chosen field, I don’t know if this is grunt work or if he will be like MadMen forever haha.</p>

<p>@erinsD he’s a double major Econ Enviro Science and Marketing…maybe it’s best not to shack up with a job, don’t leap before you look?</p>

8

<p>“Those internships sound like they ARE providing valuable learning experiences” - I agree. You can count your lucky stars that he had some early insights to law before considering pricey law school. </p>

<p>It sounds like he can drop the Marketing. He has little interest and has great mareketing instincts already. When I saw Econ, I was going to ask if he has interest in BigData/Analytics topics. But now you list “Econ Enviro Science” - that sounds interesting… tell us more about that.</p>

9

<p>I agree these are giving him valuable experiences - even if it is figuring out what he doesn’ t want to do. Sounds like maybe an entrepeneurial class or two may make sense for him as he probably will likely be working for himself sooner rather than later.</p>

10

<p>@ColorM his school offers two pathways in the Econ major, Enviro Science and International Relations. His senior yr, he scored a spring break internship with a water research facility and he did well in the lab and ended up getting a great LOR. He wasn’t particularly crazy about the labwork, but did enjoy the intellectual discourse with the grad students and the scientists he met. So, Freshman year, his poli sci prof asked him to speak at a Town Hall Meeting on, coincidentally, water politics, a hot topic in Cal, where water is scarce. He enjoyed it, volunteered at Adopt-a-Park, signed up for a sustainability NPO and declared Econ Environmental Science as another major with Marketing. </p>

<p>Course now he’s leaning toward the International pathway because he likes the less scientific aspect and really wants to studya broad 'cause he enjoys foreign languages. He’s only a soph so he’s still taking the core requirements. I just wonder if all this trying on of hats is hurting not helping, the more he tries on the more confused he gets. It’s kind of like that show Say Yes to the Dress, the figure challenged gals have parameters they have to stick to, while the non-figure challenged gals look good in most everything and keep trying different styles on making it hard to choose. That’s a horrible analogy because he does not fit every job or major at all, weak in math for instance, but it’s the only analogy that comes to mind.</p>

11

<p>I think you tell your kid that careers evolve in unpredictable ways. He should prepare himself to earn a living but not be surprised if he finds himself doing something different a few years down the line.</p>

<p>How many of us are doing now what we thought we would be doing back when we were 22?</p>

12

<p>@CMom got cut off before I could add this from the school website describing their Enviro Econ program: “Environmental and resource economics often focus on the costs and benefits of resolving such critical conflicts as water quality, recreational land and water use, erosion control, rainforest use and preservation, invasive species, waste disposal, industrial land use, and pollution-related issues…Environmental economists can provide information relevant to policy decisions and debates on environmental issues by estimating the benefits and costs of alternative policies, describing how environmental impacts affect economic systems, and assessing the economic performance of alternative policies.”</p>

13

<p>SM - Wow, that Enviro Econ sounds interesting. I bet it is something that my Econ major (originally in Engineering) would have liked. It seems like it would be a good field for now and the future.</p>

14

<p>Call me crazy, but I thought this WAS the purpose of internships: try out some careers, wear some different hats, decide if Job X was some kind of match for your ineterests and talents. And honestly, it doesn’t hurt to learn that even a great job is awful sometimes.</p>

<p>My D is an accountant. When she did her summer internship, she found out pretty quickly that this really was the job for her - but she told us that lots of her fellow interns decided otherwise. Better to find that out as a summer intern than as a Staff 1 in the middle of your first busy season.</p>

<p>And I kind of agree with moonchild - sometimes we moms just get to hear the complaining. Even kids who don’t complain do need someone with whom they can let off steam.</p>

15

<p>Marian, i’m still doing the same thing I did since age 19 and have probably hated every minute, except the happy hours haha</p>

16

<p>@scout there’s no doubt that the experience of internships have value for most, but in my kid’s case, he keeps changing course with each one, there’s only so many years I can afford for him to study haha. So I just wanted a sounding board about whether he should fish or cut bait on the Marketing or stick it out. ugh well the good news is there’s 300 majors to choose from, gulp</p>

17

<p>For your son there are benefits, SM. He just has some other side effects too. It would be fair for you to define a maximum number of semesters for parental support. Then if changed majors impact predicted graduations, maybe he will need to scramble on summer courses or whatever. </p>

<p>Personally I see some advantage to dropping the Marketing major. Students envision snazzy advertising jobs but often end up with things like assistant manager at Hertz ($11/hr, real example).</p>

18

<p>Yup Cmom, I concur. In fact, he called out of the blue to tell me that he’s def dropping Marketing, doesn’t need it and is much more enjoying his Econ classes. He does like the job as he’s gaining valuable exp and it fits his personality. Still hates writing creative copy, but can deal with it on a short-term basis, as he’s leaning towards being an entrepreneur. Thanks to all for all your feedback.</p>

19

<p>I am of the opinion that many of our brightest kids will not follow a traditional career path (graduate, get an entry level job in your field, move up the ladder, etc). There are so many ways to make a living and new industries emerging every day. IMO, a college education is just a way to learn some skills, such as creativity, problem solving, task management, etc. that can be applied in an unlimited number of careers. </p>

<p>My D is a senior in college majoring in Musical Theater and American History, with a minor in African-American studies. Does this prepare her for “a” career? - no, but I believe that it prepares her for a satisfying career in something that I can’t even imagine yet. And, she has also had several internships that have helped her narrow down what she “doesn’t” want to do for a living!</p>

<p>Fortunately, my H and I are pretty laid back about this whole career thing. H’s industry didn’t exist when he finished his undergrad (video games) and I changed careers at age 35 to a totally unrelated field (intl banking to theology). I tell my kids to just follow their passions and see where it takes them.</p>

20

<p>There may be valuable lessons your son is learning and at some point later he may find himself drawing on the different experiences he’s having now. The internships are exposing him to a variety of work and that’s good. Also, what he’s doing now may open up doors for him later to something that suites him better. My son had some horrible statistics project for class last year. This summer, he had an internship that he loved, and one week they needed some statistical data drawn up. He said the process to do it was exactly what he’d learned in class. Tho it wasn’t his favorite thing to do, it showed his versatility on the job.</p>