There are several of the 4 year CUNY’s that get rockstars- this is not a great example although I understand the point being made.
“I do find it bracing that so many posters here believe that somebody else’s decision, no matter how odd it may seem, must be based on well-thought-out and supported reasons, and couldn’t have been made for really stupid reasons. I hope you’re right, but I have observed quite a few stupid decisions (or to be more charitable, decisions based on an imperfect understanding of the facts) to be quite so certain about it.”
From my chair, my viewpoint isn’t necessarily that the girl’s decision was The Very Most Optimal-est Decision Possible, but rather that outside observers simply don’t have all the facts – either of the circumstances (financial, health, family situation, major, etc.) or about the breadth / depth / seriousness of the decision process - to know one way or the other. At the end of the day, all you can really say is … if I were in the same boat, I wouldn’t have made that particular decision. Problem is, you don’t necessarily know what the boat looks like.
• While it’s possible she explored all options, locking in so early doesn’t mesh with that. After speaking with my daughter, she theorizes there is both a financial and a sheltered element to this. The family is small town, very conservative, dare I say erring on the provincial side. Now she’s attending a school where over 90% of the students are from a 30 mile radius and the average high school gpa is in the 3.0 range. My jaw was on the floor because such an outgoing and smart girl would REALLY thrive and blossom at a more diverse, cosmopolitan and competitive school (like the flagship U her brother attends).
• My daughter said a couple of top seniors are quietly happy such a competitive applicant is off the table. At the very least it’s likely an extra spot at the Flagship U.
There are more than a few top students at UMBC, a directional commuter school, instead of College Park. Why? For many, it comes down to money and opportunity or access to opportunities. These students are given generous scholarships and guaranteed summer research or internships with their early admission whereas the scholarships are highly competitive at College Park. In other cases, size matters - some students want the smaller size of UMBC over a large campus.
I’ve learned to accept decisions. I may not make the same decision (ha! that even applies to my own child) but, bottom line, it’s not my choice. To be honest, I have absolutely zero opinion on and interest in where the high school “rock stars” choose to attend. If the child is happy and the parents are happy, that’s good enough for me.
So what is the “flagship U”, and what is the “local directional”?
" Her Facebook has a lot of posts showing her visiting her brother at college, cheering for their teams, wearing the merch. "
My H happily supported his older sister at her HS, going to her performances and awards. I hadn’t met him at the time but he may have even owned a sweat shirt from that school. He still refused to go to the same HS because he didn’t want people comparing the two of them, or for his “big sister” to be looking over his shoulder. Supporting her brother may not have ever meant the girl in the OP intended to go to his college.
" The family is small town, very conservative, dare I say erring on the provincial side"
Sounds like you don’t really think much of them. If they’re as “provincial” as you think, maybe this is exactly the right choice for the D.
"After speaking with my daughter, she theorizes there is both a financial and a sheltered element to this. The family is small town, very conservative, dare I say erring on the provincial side. "
This is gossipy, to actually engage your daughter in a conversation as to why the Joneses do what the Joneses did. I would have thought better if you’d just left it as “I was idly wondering.”
“My jaw was on the floor because such an outgoing and smart girl would REALLY thrive and blossom at a more diverse, cosmopolitan and competitive school (like the flagship U her brother attends).”
I suppose you can offer to pick up the tab, then.
“To be honest, I have absolutely zero opinion on and interest in where the high school “rock stars” choose to attend.”
AMEN!
I am gossipy. I will usually chat people up at work, parties or conferences. It is often how I get information on what my competitors are doing and keep track of office politic.
If there is no difference in quality of education based on caliber of students why do schools offer honors and why do high schools offer AP and honor courses?
D2 went to an international school where she took most IB courses, but had to take one regular local history course. She barely did any work in that class, and the teacher spent most of the time disciplining students and asking them why they didn’t do their work. She said it was hard to have any meaningful class discussion because many students didn’t do their reading. So yes, I do think the level of learning is different when you have caliber of students. Not all education is created equal.
@hunt As a Towson university alumnus, I’m a bit insulted by your post. I don’t mind telling you why I went there. I went there to become a registered occupational therapist in the only school in Maryland that was accredited to provide that major. I stayed home with elderly grandparents to ensure that they could stay in the home that they lived in together for over 30 years so they didn’t need to go into a nursing home. I worked to help put myself through school because I didn’t have living parents to send me. I went to one of the top high schools in Baltimore City and graduated in the top 6% of my class. If that makes me stupid , so be it. I live my life for me, not what others think of me.
I’m not sure the second part fits the definition of “gossipy” as I’ve seen commonly used*.
Chatting people up is just being social and some would even dub “networking”. 
- Spreading around negative information about specific named individuals...especially for the purposes of undermining or otherwise for malicious or bullying reasons. Whenever kids in my old neighborhood or sometimes a colleague or two get called out** for gossiping, it was always defined as being along those lines.
** Among the boys in my old neighborhood, being a gossip defined along those lines was considered especially bad if one was a male for gender-based reasons along with the idea that being a “snitch” was bad. Being “called out” for it could include getting a “knuckle sandwich” and being tossed into the nearest trashcan/dumpster with the lid slammed on top to emphasize the “call out”. Something which mothers strongly abhorred but most of the fathers/older males in that neighborhood approved of as a form of “behavioral correction”.
I’m pretty curious about things like this. My kids’ school publishes a list in the school paper with college plans for kids who choose to submit the info. I always check it out. But I don’t run to post on CC about where the ruck stars go. And my jaw has never come close to hitting the floor.
The school took out an ad listing all the AP scholars last fall and for those who had graduated it listed where they went to college. About 1/3 to 1/2 are at the flagship (which is local). A few at Bama–that merit money works. A couple at Iviies. And I think USC, Berkely and MIT were all in there. And a few kids were at lowly directional schools, probably for a very low cost.
I’m interested enough to notice these things. But as I said I’ve never been overly shocked by where other people’s kids go to college. Because I have no real expectations about what decisions will be made by people I know only casually. How could I, since I don’t know nearly all the details of their situation?
D1 and I gossip (talk) about people we know - work, school, friends, etc. Yes, sometimes it can be, “Can you believe who she is dating” or “Can’t believe she wore that outfit or makeup.” I am always interested in why people do certain things. I draw the line of not spreading any rumors.
Not sure how that makes it better @oldfort.
I am not trying to say it is better, but I am also not saying gossiping is bad either because I do gossip and I enjoy it. Feel free to raise your hand if you have NEVER gossiped. I think we do it on CC everyday.
That’s likely because your definition of gossiping is far broader and more value neutral than the ways I’ve seen it typically used in social and professional settings.
In most social and professional situations I’ve been in, someone admitting he/she loves to gossip would usually cause most folks to do a double-take, look at him/her as if he/she’s an malevolent alien from outer space with a contagious disease, and prompt others to cut that individual out of further social interactions* such as parties or gatherings by the office water cooler.
- Mainly from fears this individual will inevitably spread negative information about them, especially for the purposes of undermining or otherwise for malicious or bullying reasons.
I can’t say I’ve never gossiped 
However, the range in academic ability and motivation is much narrower in college than in high school. Perhaps only the top third of high school graduates (overall, not at a particular school which may be higher or lower performing than the overall) go on to four year colleges. Also, the much greater diversity of course offerings at most colleges means that advanced students choosing hard courses and majors can largely avoid enrolling in remedial or gut courses that the bottom of the range students may be taking.