And that is what we don’t know. Presumably, this student “committed” to this school. We don’t even know what that means. It might just be a housing deposit. Maybe she did send in an enrollment deposit.
But that doesn’t mean she hasn’t applied elsewhere and will weigh the options when the time comes.
My reaction in my first post on this thread was to the OP’s comment about her chin dropping on the floor. I thought that was judgmental. I agree with others…say congratulations and move on. I’m going to guess that this info isn’t the whole story.
This will likely have a happy ending for this student…and really, that’s all that matters.
IMO her choice is fine as long as she is fully aware of her options. I’ve met some adults who have ended up wishing they had gone to a different college or university, if they had explored their options more fully.
Exactly@thumper1. The reaction was what left a bad taste in my mouth. It would be nice to know how all of this plays out, but I doubt we will ever know.
I personally think too many posters are judging OP. “Well, I would never…” Please, whenever we hear a story that’s out of ordinary, we always wonder and judge. I am not ashamed to say that I do.
Perhaps the kid in question is not even going this route, but gave the answer so that people could just be out of her business.
Those of us who have been through the college process, do you remember how many well meaning people wanted to know where your kid was applying, where they were accepted, where they were going and how much you were paying?
Look at it from the “high achieving, rock star kid’s” perspective; everyone and their mother wants to know what is going on, where frankly it really is not in any of their business. I know a few kids who have given jaw dropping answers to friends and neighbors because they felt that the process is stressful enough without being asked the same question over and over again. Live on a few more days, the kid will go to the college that she and her family decide on. Until then, simply smile, nod, have enough good manners to say congrats, and move on!
Saying that there are plenty of schools which would give the student a full-ride is probably a stretch. Full tuition, several, yes. A contender for competitive scholarships? Yes, but only if she already applied bc most have early deadlines and the awards are few. There is no guarantee she would receive one. She might very well be waiting to hear back on those announcements but is happily ready to take the one in hand.
Without knowing her intended major, how does one even begin to gauge what sort of options even exist amg the high merit schools? I know for our dd only 2 schools within our state offer her intended major and neither one is a flagship. The high merit schools mostly do not offer the major. The location of one that does is not appealing. Several that we have visited are less of a fit than the local school which has promised her the ability to do independent study under the dept chair in order to pursue her personal goals.
For every argument for or against, it is nothing more than anyone’s guess. Who knows? The young lady and her family.
@sybbie719 I also entertained the notion that she said that because she was either tired of fielding questions about school choice or wants to keep her choices private .
" Please, whenever we hear a story that’s out of ordinary, we always wonder and judge. I am not ashamed to say that I do."
Wonder, maybe. Judge, not really. I know from my three kids’ very different experiences both in and out of school that there is almost always more to the story. I prefer to think that most people aren’t driven by money and prestige and make the best decisions for themselves and their families, rather than judge them for being less than sensible.
It’s all the same whether you post “I was curious,” “it’s kind of strange,” or “my chin hit the floor.” You are surprised and you are noisy. By posting “I was curious” doesn’t make one less nosy or a better person. I am sure OP didn’t express any of her feelings to the student. Trust me, there are a lot of things I think in my head that I do not necessary say. And if anyone here doesn’t wonder or just a bit curious when they hear a rockstar from their kid’s school is not going to college or going to a lower caliber school is really a much better person than me (and I think I am pretty wonderful).
We are also in Illinois, and a few of my D’s classmates - with above-average grades and 30+ ACT scores - are still considering community college for two years, with plans to transfer to the state flagship, or even - gasp - one of the directionals. Why? Money. When you don’t have enough of it, it’s what it’s mostly about.
A couple of our smaller state schools are connected to my town through excellent public transportation (just a short ride) and you can not imagine how important this is to some families. Also those schools are very generous with scholarships in a way that the flagship is not. So some families that need the big scholarships AND want the kids to stay home chose those colleges. Some families (students or parents not sure) are not ready to follow the merit money if that’s away from home.
If rockstar student, told OP that she was recruited to Harvard and was getting a full ride (even though we know that they only give need based aid), would OP have felt better? Nope, and I bet her jaw would have still dropped to the floor (and some criticism would still be coming).
I dont get being surprised or thinking the student deserves better–as others have mentioned–who knows the family’s real circumstances (financial or otherwise). A really smart kid should do well almost anywhere.
"Please, whenever we hear a story that’s out of ordinary, we always wonder and judge. "
I think some of us are saying that we don’t find a bright student going to a directional to be “out of the ordinary.” I think the chasm between where you can get to from an elite and where you can get to from a directional isn’t as large here in the Midwest as it is elsewhere.
“Those of us who have been through the college process, do you remember how many well meaning people wanted to know where your kid was applying, where they were accepted, where they were going and how much you were paying?”
None, aside from a few comments from grandparents. Thank God.
Right. In our area, folks did not inquire about college applications, scholarships received, or anything else. They certainly weren’t privy to GPA and SAT scores…and I don’t recall anyone ever asking about them. At all.
I haven’t seen it on this thread, but there have been other examples in which a student who made a similar choice is praised as being very “mature” or “wise.” I think a lot of the times the assumption is that the person in question is going against the crowd by not trying to go to an elite school, but I think this is because most people in CC come from upper middle class communities. As is said repeatedly, most people do not care about going to a top college, which means that most high schools do not have large numbers of people apply to top schools. In my opinion, it’s more likely that someone who has the qualifications to go to a top school, but did not, didn’t consider their options carefully and is just going where everyone else is going, than the opposite. Of course, this is not true on CC, where most people do tend to make careful choices.
And while I’m sure one could get a great education at say, Southern Connecticut University, the reality is that it will be much harder to make the opportunities one would have an even a state flagship. For example, (and I’m only using math because I’m familiar with it), it is not possible to take a course in Algebraic Geometry at Southern Connecticut. Obviously there are still ways to learn it, either through independent studies, or maybe summer programs or summer courses. But it can be exhausting to have to constantly find ways to do things that would be much easier at another school.
I don’t know nearly as much about the intimate details of the friends of my kids as some here seem to.
I’ve asked my son’s friends where they’re applying. Regardless of what they say, my response is “That’s wonderful. The very best of luck to you.” Likewise the kids I teach.
I can’t imagine dissecting their choices online. Or assuming that I know what’s better for them than their parents do.