The sorrows of a high school student

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>I'm currently a Sophomore and I feel like I'm doomed. I don't have confidence that I'll get into a top college, have fun in college, and have fun for the rest of my life. And it's because I really don't have an interesting hobby or anything cool I do when I'm bored. When I look at other students my age, I see ice skaters, dancers, and many people with distinct talents... But when I look at myself, I feel like I've done nothing and I frequently find myself bored. I do read, but what use will that be besides entertainment? </p>

<p>When I was younger, I never tried new things. I just stayed in all day and played video games. Other kids were forced by their parents to try different things whether they liked them or not, and sure enough, they found hobbies that they could stick with. Even though I'm "only" in high school, the gap between us is widening by quite a bit. Even when I try new things nowadays, I'm not very tempted to continue with them for a while because I fear I won't like it and it'll be a waste of time or a useless pursuit. I even feel that the hobbies I do enjoy a little bit will end up being too burdensome to continue or get better at (ex. programming: I don't know what to make, there's too much syntax to learn, etc.). </p>

<p>Also, to make matters worse, I'm highly ambitious, have good grades and scores, and long to go to an Ivy League school. I know I have grades and scores that can get me into any school, but my ECs are weak - and this is where the pain started - so I feel like I have to channel more energy into them. But there are a few problems: I'm not very social; I have no idea what I like to do; and I have a lot of demanding school work. Also, I didn't spend my childhood building upon a skill or talent, so I have no foundation to build off of. Other kids have already put a good deal of their "10,000 hours" into their hobbies, but I've done nothing.</p>

<p>What are hobbies that require "10,000 hours" good for, anyway? As far as I can see, only for winning competitions - but that gives people an advantage when it comes to admissions. Unfortunately, there's no way I can put 10,000 hours into an activity in the next three years AND win several competitions to show off my talent, so scratch that.</p>

<p>Keep in mind that I still want to develop a hobby/talent/fun activity, but it may or may not be in the pursuit of getting into a great college.</p>

<p>So, what else can I do? Well, I've joined a few clubs and left a few clubs, and I'm starting a few new activities this year (NY Math Circle, Math Tutoring, and Math Team, just to name a few). Based on admitted students' statistics, however, these are commonplace among most of the people who apply to Ivy League colleges, and they usually look for something unique or interesting to admit students. I suppose they would show commitment / dedication, "passion", leadership, and/or success. I know I can be dedicated and successful if I try (I've studied for tests and succeeded many times), and I'm pretty sure that if I get excited about something to a certain point I can start being a leader in that area. If I can do it, I imagine plenty of others can, too. </p>

<p>tl;dr: So, what can I do to stand out? In a crowd of people where other people have put a lot of time and effort into their skills and hobbies, what can I do to stand out? How can I develop a useful, fun hobby? How can I enjoy myself more and stop worrying about everything so much? Are there others like me who haven't really been doing much during high school but managed to get into Harvard? What do the people who haven't cultivated skills over the years do to get into Harvard? etc...</p>

<p>I apologize if I digressed from the original point a bit, but I think you'll get the idea.</p>

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<p>How about a synopsis?</p>

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<p>If you’re doing things just to stand out, colleges will see right through you.</p>

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<p>^</p>

<p>Although it is frowned upon to do things just for the mere sake of putting them on an application,

is not necessarily true.</p>

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<p>You write with poise, maturity, and clarity–pursue that.</p>

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<p>@neurophyte: I acknowledge that. My real pursuit is to find something that I enjoy doing and can really indulge myself in - and at the same time have it be beneficial for getting into college (and of course allow myself to have fun with it during college and for the rest of my life). Ideally it shouldn’t require me to have already put 10,000 hours into a skill or talent; it should just be something that I can get started on soon and not worry about not being good enough at it to pursue it.</p>

<p>Two big problems that arise when students ask, “what can I do to get into Harvard?”, and are presented with the statement, “colleges like students who pursue their passions,” are 1) not a lot of kids have passions and 2) people like me will spend a lot of time in high school going crazy over how they’re going to find their passion, which is psychologically unhealthy and really not the way to go. Thus, I’ve tried to rephrase my original purpose into a more beneficial and healthy one (see above: “My real pursuit…”).</p>

<p>@ UT84321: Thanks! I’ve considered writing before, and I’ve actually written the beginnings of a few short stories, but I’ve never finished any. [I actually thought I’d come off as a little bit incoherent in this post, but whatever.] I’ve been thinking of giving writing (not necessarily fiction) another shot… Perhaps I will.</p>

7

<p>It happens
[College</a> Confidential - Search Results](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/search.php?searchid=25314619]College”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/search.php?searchid=25314619)</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>I feel like a complete dick because I developed an urge to say “That’s because you won’t.”</p>

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<p>CC is the most unrepresentative forum I’ve ever seen in my life. A good majority of the kids on here makeup a lot of EC’s, grades, and SAT scores. The amount of perfect scores (or close to it) I’ve seen on here are just not realistic considering the amount of perfect scores that actually exist per year. I’m not saying all do, but I’m saying some do. The grades that some of these kids claims are pretty much impossible considering what they claim to participate in. Again this isn’t the case for all, but it does exist.</p>

<p>Next, there is a ton of hand holding on these forums. Look at how many moms are on here. College is supposed to be for independence, not for more parenting. Why do you think moms are on here?** Because, in some cases, not all**…the kid can’t figure out these things on their own. If the mom is this involved with the application process, imagine how much help they are going to need to get through college and then after. There is a reason schools like Penn State were rated number one by wall street journal for best employment. Because PSU doesn’t have any handholding. The kids make it on their own. The employers know this. Hence, why they recruit heavily from those types of schools.</p>

<p>I’ll use the UK as a contrast to the US since I’m applying to a few schools there. The equivalent of CC is called TSR. Not a single mom is on there. I’ve never seen one and I visit the forum regularly. As opposed to CC, where every other post is from a mom. And a lot of threads end up turning into parents only. Way too much handholding exists in the US. I expect to see a lot of parents getting angry over that statement. But whether they like it or not, it’s true. </p>

<p>You’ll find quickly that where you go to college really doesn’t matter. It may help you get your first job, but then after that…all that matters is your experience. It’s the second job that seperates the handholders from the independents. A lot of ivy/top school kids will fail at this juncture because all they know is school and to live up to someones expectations. They don’t know what it’s like when they have to finally lead, etc. I can give you plenty of examples where people were educated at top schools, but are stuck in terrible jobs–or no job at all.</p>

<p>So screw what other people want from you. It’s your life. Do what you want. Stop trying to live up to other people’s expectations. The problem you have is you aren’t worried about you, you’re worried about what other people think of you. That’s a fundamental problem. Not one that can be solved by a hobby.</p>

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<p>

You obviously come from an area of weak academic strength if you think that the stats on CC are “too good to be true”. And the number of perfect scorers on this forum seems quite believable given the self selective nature of the site.</p>

<p>

Agree with the overabundance of hand holding, “helicopter parenting” etc. Disagree with your statements regarding PSU. Have you even read the criteria WSJ used to determine their list? Can you show me how schools with best employment equate to schools with no hand holding? If you want to cite recruiting, why not take it to the extreme. Let’s examine the insanely selective recruiting process in Investment Banking; PSU recruitment is essentially zero. </p>

<p>

Where one goes to college probably doesn’t matter as much as many stress it does on this forum, but it definitely matters in terms of opportunities well beyond (and sometimes as a result of) the first job. Your blanket statements regarding Ivy league/other top school students are incredibly moronic, supported with no factual information and come off as spite more than anything else. For every example you can provide of a person who went to a top school who now has a ****ty job/no job, I can provide 1,000 examples of people who went to worse schools in the same situation.</p>

<p>

I can agree with most of this.</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>I (try to) agree with this statement, but it’s difficult once you’ve been exposed to the whole process, and I’m still left wondering, “what do I do now?”</p>

<p>Regarding the statement that it doesn’t matter much where you go to college: As Jersey13 said, it actually does. If you go to one of the best colleges, you’ll be surrounded by the “best people,” the best opportunities, the best education, etc. It’s true that I can just stop worrying about everything and feel assured that I’ll get into a really good college, but I’d rather go to (one of) the best.</p>

<p>EDIT: @ CelaPlusAimaple: Wow, those threads remind me of someone. If he/she is in college, which does he/she go to and which was he/she accepted into?</p>

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<p>“You obviously come from an area of weak academic strength if you think that the stats on CC are “too good to be true”. And the number of perfect scorers on this forum seems quite believable given the self selective nature of the site.”</p>

<p>**No, I go to the number one school in the state, it’s IB and all that jazz. **</p>

<p>“Agree with the overabundance of hand holding, “helicopter parenting” etc. Disagree with your statements regarding PSU. Have you even read the criteria WSJ used to determine their list?. Can you show me how schools with best employment equate to schools with no hand holding? If you want to cite recruiting, why not take it to the extreme. Let’s examine the insanely selective recruiting process in Investment Banking; PSU recruitment is essentially zero”</p>

<p>**Yes, I’ve read the criteria. Have you read the direct quotes from the employers and the article? They specifically state the argument I made about handholding and why they think PSU is closer to corporate culture than an ivy/top 20 school.</p>

<p>Sure investment banking is a competitive field. I’m talking about recruiting on a whole. I’m not going into specific areas/industries. If you want to talk only about investment banking, you win. Oh and for the hell of it, let me play with you on this one. My dad is a partner/senior exec at a big 3. When I told him that I was applying to PSU he recommended I go to their business school for an undergrad because of the immense amount of PSU grads he’s seen in the industry. He’s got 25 years of industry experience, and over 1k people working under him. I’m not trying to sound arrogrant, or my dad “is this and that.” I’m trying to show you there is the picture that people paint on CC and then there is the real industry. Also keep in mind a lot of what you hear is only reflected in the hiring process in the first job. Just because they got through the first job, doesn’t mean they’re through on the partner track. **</p>

<p>“Where one goes to college probably doesn’t matter as much as many stress it does on this forum, but it definitely matters in terms of opportunities well beyond (and sometimes as a result of) the first job. Your blanket statements regarding Ivy league/other top school students are incredibly moronic, supported with no factual information and come off as spite more than anything else. For every example you can provide of a person who went to a top school who now has a ****ty job/no job, I can provide 1,000 examples of people who went to worse schools in the same situation”</p>

<p>**If I wasn’t so damn lazy right now I’d spend the rest of the afternoon citing statistics and studies on the validity of your claim but I think to be fair and reasonable…you are overrepresenting how much “oppurtunity well beyond the first job” an ivy/top school gives you, and I am underrepresenting. I’d say it’s somewhere in the middle. I think we can agree on that. Oh and I have no spite. I’m just so tired, as a senior, listening to these kids on how they think their life is setup by going to a top 20. They don’t understand what else it takes to get through life because they’ve only been exposed to education and rumors of the workforce. My spite isn’t based off not being able to go to a top school. I’ve already been accepted to a school outside of the US (ranked by US news world and report, QS, and times) in the top 15 schools in the world. **</p>

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<p>^^ haha I wish I knew</p>

<p>If I had to venture a guess I’d say UF.</p>

<p>^ I don’t think CC is so much a misrepresentation of the average student (which it is, simply because the average CCer is getting into a top 50 school) as a misrepresentation that our goals as people should be to get into a good college and make loads of money. Happiness doesn’t depend on money - it depends on relaxing and letting life go where it will while doing what you want to do.</p>

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<p>First, I applaud you for being honest with yourself. Your feelings don’t go away by being ignored. You’re bored, you’re not inspired or excited by things right now – that’s how you feel. Listen to your disenchantment. You said yourself you didn’t try new things – maybe now’s the time. And give it a chance. Try blending things you like and are good at (maybe you can create a video game that teaches math??? See title – if you call it “Math Warriors II” makes it seem like there was a really successful original version. The sequel always does better than the first one.) And don’t get discouraged by the sheer quantity of work involved. Maybe you can be the creative person who comes up with the idea (like a TV show front runner) and other people execute it. Listen to your dissatisfaction. Keep exploring what you want to do. You’ll find it. Give it time.</p>

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<p>

Then exactly what makes the stats on CC implausible? I’m assuming that the state you reside in isn’t very academically competitive. </p>

<p>

You’ve read the criteria? They polled companies from sectors such as “waste management”, “transportation”, “arts/recreation”, “employment services” and “materials”. Their primary metric to determine which schools were the best was based off the number of times the school was mentioned by a company as a place they hired. Such a surprise that the top ten schools overall average roughly 25,000 to 30,000 undergrads. </p>

<p>

Take a look at any BB IB firm’s SA list or their 1st year’s list and you’ll see the factual data supports what I’ve said, that PSU grads are virtually non-existent in BB firms. Your anecdotal evidence is well, anecdotal. </p>

<p>

I already took the middle ground… You said where one goes to college doesn’t really matter. I said it does, just perhaps not to the extent emphasized on this forum.</p>

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<p>"Then exactly what makes the stats on CC implausible? I’m assuming that the state you reside in isn’t very academically competitive. "</p>

<p>**I’ll just let this one slide. I just find it unrealistic. Maybe it’s because CC only caters to those who legitametly hold those stats. **</p>

<p>"Take a look at any BB IB firm’s SA list or their 1st year’s list and you’ll see the factual data supports what I’ve said, that PSU grads are virtually non-existent in BB firms. Your anecdotal evidence is well, anecdotal. "</p>

<p>Already said you won if we are speaking specifically about IB.</p>

<p>You’ve read the criteria? They polled companies from sectors such as “waste management”, “transportation”, “arts/recreation”, “employment services” and “materials”. Their primary metric to determine which schools were the best was based off the number of times the school was mentioned by a company as a place they hired. Such a surprise that the top ten schools overall average roughly 25,000 to 30,000 undergrads. </p>

<p>There was quite a bit more into their equation than number of times mentioned. “Merritt said they asked recruiters to measure students’ academic preparedness, ability to adapt quickly to a new job and ability to succeed in companies.” It was more of a statistical survey, than a statistical observation</p>

<p>"I already took the middle ground… You said where one goes to college doesn’t really matter. I said it does, just perhaps not to the extent emphasized on this forum. "</p>

<p>Agree on the middle ground then. Seemed as if you were taking the high ground at first. I agree there is a balance between the two. There is an advantage to a top 20, but it isn’t the end all be all. You can make yourself at any school.</p>

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<p>Bump. I would like some more advice…</p>

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<p>There are more than just 8 schools in the world. You have to do what’s best for you.</p>

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<p>I concur. Everything will work out just fine as long as you focus on fit and schools you can realistically get into.</p>

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<p>I know exactly how you are feeling. I even had a thread about this a few weeks ago about what you are talking about: <a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/1001274-my-high-school-years-going-down-drain.html[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/high-school-life/1001274-my-high-school-years-going-down-drain.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>I always wanted to go to Harvard, ever since I was a little girl. I guess I just wanted to have the satisfaction of knowing that I was good enough to get in. I just wanted the recognition, honestly. I was a good student, I focused on my academics and for a while it paid off. I was always on the school honor roll and teachers always loved me. When high school came around things changed. My grades were still good but not as good as they should have been and my social life was almost non existent because I focused so much on my academics than my outside life suffered. I faced 2 years of depression because of it all. I couldn’t handle the fact that now there were people that were better than me and that my Harvard dream was pretty much ruined. But things got better Junior year. My grades are better, I do some ECs, and I even have leadership positons. I gave up my dream for Harvard, not because I knew it probably wasn’t in my grasp, but because I wanted it for the wrong reasons. I’ve always been they type of person to actually have to put an earnest, hard, effort to get what I want. I had no talents, either. I couldn’t sing, dance, act, play the piano, etc. But I do know now that I want to be in the movie industry, whether its editing, producing, or writing I’m not really sure. And my new goal is to get into Columbia (I’m not sure if that’s in my grasp either, but only time will tell).</p>

<p>I guess my point is that you just have to wait and be patient. You’ll have a moment in your life where you finally realize what you want to do for the rest of your life. Really think about what you want, and why you want it. Will you be happy at an Ivy League. Yes or No. Oh, and always dream big. You never know where it will get you.</p>

<p>Good Luck and Best Wishes</p>