Oh gosh, @vistajay, I am so sorry! It’s going to be okay! I know so many people who had early “no-s” followed by fantastic yes-es!!! In fact, my D’s one and only “no” last year was her first response; a “no” after her prescreen at Carnegie Mellon. That rejection was so scary and hard, but everything turned out ok, and it will for your S, too.
Such great words of wisdom @dramasopranomom ! So happy to have this kind of support from parents like you who recently walked this path. The right fit is out there…
No SMU was not high on his list, but in our naive brains we considered it a match music admit. So now we are even more worried about USC and Vandy. Hopefully they see his potential. Thanks for the support!
Well one other thing, keep in mind that at every audition, competition, everything, you have a very subjective set of ears and thoughts in a panel. D had that experience at Berklee this summer. A place that had been her top choice until her summer experience. She was there on a merit scholarship, a decent one. Then auditioned for placement at the start of the program (admittedly with not the best song for her) and didn’t click AT ALL with the head of the vocal jazz program who she auditioned with. She was placed in completely beginner classes, ensembles etc. She Ended up getting a new voice teacher, much better fit, who helped her prepare and select music for her scholarship audition for admission later in the summer. She went from being overlooked there to being offered scholarship for admission. Different adjudicators, same vocalist, different result. It was an excellent learning experience about teacher fit, selecting the right music and downright subjectivity of those she auditions with. Not everyone will love her, some will, some won’t. But she understands that now and doesn’t take it personally. And ultimately Berklee went from her top choice to not even submitting an application. She knew it wasn’t right for her. It’s all such an interesting process and ultimately they find where they belong. Your S will too.
The rejections come first. But they shake the confidence. My D’s first 2 MT results were rejections and then a waitlist. Her MT acceptances did not come until March. She did get a VP acceptance in feb which helped.
His situation is very, very common. He should understand that. He’ll need to shake it off in the next few days and just understand that rejections come first. He’s exactly where he should be in the process. He’s fine. Continue on.
@vistajay Sorry to hear it too. This process seems bizarre and unpredictable. But it is a long way to May and your son has a good list of colleges.
There are so many variables, including room in the studios. Some schools are only taking one or two VP or certain instrument. Some may even have studied with one of the teachers in the summer. You just don’t know. Mine had a rejection first then all good after that. He’ll be fine but has to understand the business, that auditions always mean a good chance of a no throughout the career path. This is good training if painful!
@compmom is right. There are so many variables that you cannot look at this as black and white (talent or no talent). MANY talented students receive rejections…welcome to the business.
IMHO the most important thing a parent can do for their student is BELIEVE IN THEM. When they lose faith, you must not (at least not in front of them). You have to put the questions aside and finish what you started. From now until May, your most important job is to believe…even against all odds. Your confidence/mental toughness will hold him up…and he will find his place.
Good luck to all.
This time last year, S was practicing his craft as if he was going to do it whether he was admitted anywhere or not.
Today, he just finished his last final exam to conclude the first semester of college.
Maybe this is not a “college” story, but I think it is a music story. Someone S knows in the Chicagoland area plays a certain jazz instrument. He is 1 or 2 years older than S. He took a gap year after high school and played that instrument around town and did well. He is now on his “second gap year”. Which means he is doing well enough playing for a living that he is not seeing the need to go to college. We can all secretly add our own thoughts about one’s need to go to college, but that is the story. It means that even the absence of college does not stop one’s music. I hope that is more helpful than it is ‘dark’. Maybe I am saying that you own your music. College is a way to make some things better.
The crickets right now waiting to hear on prescreens is deafening. UGH! It kills me every time I see an update to that prescreen thread and we hear nothing. : (
Know what you mean @SpartanDrew . I saw a posting on that thread about a Vandy prescreen acceptance for the weekend my son wants to audition, which unnerved me enough that I have not looked at that thread again!
UGH! Awful @vistajay. We are likely our own worst enemies.
@GoForth your comment is very true for a lot of art forms. At a Unified audition (for MT), I sat in on a parent’s meeting given by Syracuse. They explained how you did not need to go to college to be successful in MT. You could simply go straight to auditioning. Of course they talked about who, why college. And great programs have A LOT to offer a young Mt or theater artists.
Unfortunately the idea of going straight to work does not hold true for classical VP. At 18, you have a baby voice. You won’t sing classically anywhere. Plus trying to figure out the training on your own would be pretty tough…so it’s college training at some point for classical voice.
I sure hope the dam breaks soon on those darn prescreens. I find myself checking here a lot! I’m so worried for all of you…plus my work is slow. Not a good combination. Hang in there!
@bridgenail I agree wholeheartedly. I have had many conversations with musician parents about the necessity of college versus going straight out there. That being said, my parents were both educators and instilled the importance of higher education in me. Going to college was never really a choice in my family, the choice was more centered around “where” we would go not “if” we would go. Admittedly it’s much different for a musician and even the professional guitarist that backed up my D on her recent holiday show was making some comments regarding whether or not she needed to go.
Honestly, I hate the idea of an 18 year old girl performing in clubs and on the road etc without having the benefit of college. I have zero doubt her growth will be exponential in college, both musically as well as from a maturity standpoint. I think it’s an important time in a young person’s life. I think of her growth in the past year and I’m certain it will be dramatic in college. And the connections she will make with other talented musicians will be valuable as well.
I really hope we all get some good news before the Holidays hit. We could use some Christmas cheer at the moment!!
Yea my kid was going to college even if it was for basket weaving. I wanted her to have a bachelors degree.
Just to add a little Christmas cheer…remember colleges will be closing down soon…for weeks!! As you are living in a nightmare of fear and doubt, the professors will be shushing down the ski hills at Aspen without a worry in the world…as your prescreen results sit on an admin desk covered in holiday cookie crumbs for 3 or 4 weeks. Then the schools will close again at spring break just as you are agonizing over final acceptances while they are drinking Margaritas pool side in Mexico. At least that is what I imagined.
I felt the same way about the bachelors degree.
My freshman is home for the holidays. I’m happy to report he is truly thrilled with his program and feels there’s no question he made the right choice for himself. He could probably graduate early (his academic advisor told him he was essentially starting as a sophomore credit-wise), but he says there’s no way he’d want to short himself a moment of the learning that goes on there because it really can’t be matched in any other way at any other time in his life. He has also made friends with a professional on his instrument (outside of the college experience–bit of a mentor situation) who has continually advised him of the same–told him there will be no other time in his life to genuinely and fully focus on his craft and at such a high and intense level as in a conservatory program, so he should savor every last second of the opportunity. Never again is he likely to be able to achieve this consistent level of growth.
For my kid, I’d say it’s not so much about the degree but about the unparalleled experience that happens to lead to that degree.
Thinking of you all as you wait…I remember the agony with a little bit of nostalgia and a little bit of PTSD!
Did you all see the news about McNally Smith last night? One of D’s friends, a very talented musician, posted on FB last night that they are closing suddenly! As in 2 weeks! I think she just finished her degree but can you even imagine if your kid was there as a freshman in their first semester right now??? Or even mid-way through their degree?? I’m heartsick for them all.
Absolutely horrible for all involved…
Yep…not totally surprised. I know one person on here was looking at it and I sent them a PM saying to be sure to look closely at their accreditation. Those credits will not transfer. While I believe the original intent of the school was good, and there are talented teachers and students at the school, it is still a big risk to go to a school without accreditation. I don’t believe their academics were really ever up to snuff. And I think they would fudge the accreditation issue…or at least that is what I heard. Living in the area, it was never discussed as a serious music school…maybe more of an alternative school, I guess. Still a loss for community as it really did have some talent involved…but as an institute of higher learning…I think they just got too far out there with ambitions and marketing without the resources to support the dream.