I am interested to know how it will pan out. Are you dropping him hints for your “secrete agenda”? Are you telling him your positions and preferences and then tell him it’s his decision in the end?
@libaya @panpacific - MX is also a strong contender for us also but - we’ll see after tomorrow. I’m really unsure of the best place for my son and am trying to be unbiased so that it’s his decision. We’ve done a lot of “Compare and Contrast” as the schools we’re choosing between have some very real differences (MX vs. SPS).
What are the real differences between the two schools as you see? @HMom16
@panpacific Well, of course, I am not-so subtly pointing out why I prefer MX! He just left to go on spring vacation with another CC mom who likes MX better and they revisited last week 5 or 6 of the schools that are popular on CC. So I’m sure she will talk to him about it. LOL.
(I thought that the last question was for me, I answered but when I realized my mistake I deleted.)
@HMom16 My one unanswered concern is that there was a kid posting here that MX empties out during the weekends, but it doesn’t make sense to me how kids can go home during the weekends at MX with homework, social activities, sports activities and Saturday classes. I talked to at least one current parent and she didn’t say that happens. (DS has a friend at Cate, whose parents live in Santa Barbara, she comes home but not as often as they thought because of aforementioned reasons, and their DD prefers to be at Cate during the weekends.) From CC, I’ve gotten the sense that most boarders are in close proximity to home compared to us. You are too right? Since you will revisit SPS on Monday? What have you heard?
@libaya , fwiw, I think your family values are important - very much so - and that your child, living those with you, may not realize that one needs to be intentional about that. That’s a parent’s card to play!
I am also a strong believer that you as a parent should be comfortable with the community and its values because at some point, you may find yourself dealing with something that will require that you trust the administration. Far easier when your default is that you’re all aligned on what’s right for your kid.
@gardenstategal Thanks. Ive read a lot of your posts, so that means a lot coming from you.
I have a feeling that SPS and Choate will have a hard time yielding your kids. I guess that’s why schools try to predict their yield more accurately. Filling a spot from the WL pool can take a few tries as many of those on WLs by now have already moved on to “love the schools that love them”.
I’m biased but I think SPS has a lot in its corner in comparison. 
If you had a chance to go to St. Paul’s or Choate–and could afford it–how could you say no, whether you were the first kid accepted or the last kid taken off the WL?
@GnarWhail But the alternative, or “first love” is MX - not as well known as SPS and Choate, but not so far off either.
Opinions differ.
@gnarwhail I’m sincerely interested in your opinion. Other than name-brand and facilities, why? Do you think that MX is not in the “same league” as Choate or SPS? Why not?
Not every school is right for every kid. Stipulated. And all the other stuff. I get it. I agree. But when you get a chance to go to a school like SPS or Choate and maybe five or six other schools tops, that’s something worth considering once twice three times or more. Assuming you have the money or get the FA and all that. Some things are worthy of consideration, and in this pocket universe, the possibility of attending Choate or St. Paul’s might be that something to many folks. (And if you didn’t get in or get off the waitlist, well, you don’t have to worry. You can go on and love the school you love lots now. No problem. I’m with you 14/10.)
@GnarWhail FP/FA not an issue
Facilities and brand name are the top reasons most people go to a private school/boarding school/private college/country club/private island/investment bank/hedge fund. The biggest/most famous boarding schools have so many toys, all the toys, even more the merely excellent/amazing schools. That’s not the only reason to attend, but I always put it this way: If you are turning down something selective/competitive that most people/many people who should know would say is their number one choice/the best, you’d better have a pretty great reason for doing so. Fear is not a good reason.
@GnarWhail Well according to that philosophy, I’ve made mistakes already, and not only with DS applications. LOL. I don’t always think the most expensive or the private clubs/private islands/etc are the best places for me. (Yes, I’ve been “invited”, looked, said no, so far.) But you didn’t answer. Middlesex isn’t selective/competitive? I think I’ve seen a lot of CC members disappointed about not getting into MX. Would I be the first parent to prefer MX over Choate?
I knew nothing about BS until Nov last year, other than Exeter and Andover of course. You posted this last year:
“If you’re choosing between Choate and Hotchkiss, don’t rely on mission statements or other such nonsense, but instead find something concrete, something tangible, something important to you and important enough upon which to make your choice. It could be large or small but some thing, some reason, like a certain class or a particular program or one outstanding teacher or the presence of a crew team or the town or the golf course. I hate to say it almost doesn’t matter, but it almost doesn’t matter which school you pick. Both Choate and Hotchkiss are fine schools and most/many kids could and would do fine at either. Plenty of people will, regardless of which one you pick. You can’t attend both, so be selfish and figure out why one is better than the other for you and that’s the ball game.”
We didn’t visit Hotchkiss. But again my question: is MX is not one of those schools? Then advice above wouldn’t apply to us since they aren’t equal therefore we should have a good reason not to pick a school like Choate?
For most families, it’s so much easier not to have a choice. You get into your top school and that’s that. Or you only get into one. That’s that. Or you only get needed FA from one school. Or you get a great deal from a school, so much better, too good to turn down. Those things make it easy.
If you stayed on a waitlist and you get in off the waitlist at your number one school, why would you say no? Nobody will ever care when you got in. If the other school you got into in March was your first choice, why did you stay on the waitlist at a place like SPS or CRH in the first place? But you did. You waited and got the last golden ticket. Now’s not the time to hesitate. Take it.
This is the rarest of events in this pocket universe. Way rarer than getting into Andover with that stunning B- average and A+ trust fund. The very few families who find themselves in this situation don’t have many compatriots.
You know what they say: Opinions are like [a word I can’t say here]; everybody has one. And my opinion is that MX is a great school, and for me, was one of my top contenders. MX vs. Choate is a personal choice in a lot of ways, and if MX is what feels right to you and your kid, accept it and don’t look back. You certainly won’t have been the first to have made that decision.
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Choate and Hotchkiss are traditional peer schools/equals/rivals from way back. They’re not identical. So yes, the most hilariously specious reason is good enough reason to go all-in on Hotchkiss and forever consign Choate to garbage fire status. Or vice versa.
And there are good (sometimes very good) reasons for someone to turn their back on the brass ring. But not many. Much more often it is a mistake.
But that’s racing.
We didn’t have this dilemma (accepted at MX, waitlisted at Choate), but based on visits and interviews, Choate seems to offer more opportunities (e.g., study abroad program, sports, research options) that MX didn’t, likely due to the size differential. Choate wins on facilities and innovative teaching methods too, and on walkability to town. DD preferred Choate because of the above, as well as the less restrictive daily schedule. I liked MX because I felt she would receive more individual attention and emotional support there. I hope this helps somewhat… good luck deciding!