<p>D is up in the shower... probably 35 minutes since the water turned on. I'm not complaining since she leaves at 5 tomorrow morning.
How did the vacation go so fast?
How did the rest of you fare during the winter break?</p>
<p>I'm sad to see her go, but glad that I won't awake at 3AM with pulse pounding to mystery noises downstairs, only to find it's D digging through the fridge after the chinese take-out leftovers. </p>
<p>Love them. Love to see them. Sad to see them go?</p>
<p>Sad, sad, sad. D left, and the house feels empty. The kitten who is now a full-sized cat terrorizes me craving attention. She misses D who played with her during the break. The saddest part is that D is looking for summer internships/jobs on the East Coast. :(</p>
<p>My D will too be going back on Monday. Whwn she was gone the first semester after the initial adjustment, I got used to her not being around, my house was cleaner, less food needed in the house and I started some fun projects and hobbies. H and I started spending more time doing things together without feeling like we were on a leash. We actually felt more free and I didn't have that "mother's worry" always looming in the background. She is our only child.
I have very mixed feelings about the whole thing. She came in before the holidays like a bat out of hell. 3 suitcases full of laundry in tow. Out everyday and night with friends til 2-3 am. She is a night owl and doesn't go to bed til 4-5 am, then sleeps til 2pm to start the cycle all over again. As her friends started to go back to school after the holiday, she started sticking closer to home and hanging out with me more. We have done a few things together and I have been enjoying having her around. Her room is a mess, I havent' been able to do anything constructive or finish any of my projects, and she is costing me an arm and a leg.
BTW, she still has not done any laundry.</p>
<p>BUT, I wouldn't want it any other way. I am going to miss her terribly when she goes. Then I will have to go through the adjustment period again. Does it get any easier?</p>
<p>milkandsugar, my D came back with one suitcase of freshly washed *and *folded clothes that she did not need! She went to bed around midnight, ate meals with us, watched a couple of movies with us... When I was leaving her at her college in the fall, I was ready for a teeny-tiny break from parenting. When D left for her wintersession, I felt heartbroken.</p>
<p>I thought it was suppose to get easier. House will be very quiet.Not looking forward to it.</p>
<p>It does get easier, at least in my experience. But we still have one at home. I don't know what it will be like when she goes off to college ... then the house will really be empty, and that may not be easy at all.</p>
<p>I like the thread title and I just spent a lot of time on a post. </p>
<p>H took son back yesterday- it was then or next weekend if he wanted H, not me, doing the transport duty. He has an apt so could leave anytime, not when the dorms open next weekend. He was bored at home- by the third winter break you know their life is at school, not home. No more seeing old HS friends attending other colleges. I had purchased all of the requested nonperishable foods and other household items so he would have only food for the refrigerator to buy. H and son forgot to go to the grocery store- it never entered their brains H said- although they did go for a late lunch there. Son will have to spend his own money and get milk at Walgreens, I guess... </p>
<p>We don't do Christmas so there was no holiday except New Year's Eve (I quit doing a secular Christmas when the tree and other holiday stuff not noticed if done or not). Son was sort of here- he occupied a closed door room most of the time and kept odd sleeping/eating hours. Don't miss the subwoofer boom (despite earphones used) at all hours, dirty dishes from his fixing himself meals, long showers at odd hours, closed (locked) door of room/upstairs computer room, seeing the pile of dirty laundry grow in the hall bathroom, midafternoon wakeup times, disappearing food... We had adjusted to being empty nestors and didn't have many regular suppers together- his schedule was off for eating times and I am no longer used to cooking "family" meals on a daily basis (when it is just the two of us we do more casual eating).</p>
<p>Yes, I love him, but I know his life is no longer with us. Home represents his past, not his current life. He doesn't care what changes we make outside of his room and stuff. I tried to get him to go through his toys et al- I left stuff out for him to make decisions on but he ignored it so now I'm doing it, with a few cell phone calls before donating some stuff. I am gradually paring down his at home stuff- I have no intention of playing storage locker for him when we eventually move in a few years. He'll never get around to it on his own so I'm doing it at my pace. </p>
<p>Winter break is somewhat awkward- too much time to be just a visitor like at Thansgiving, but not long enough to reintegrate him into household routines and work. And college students don't want to tell all/anything or spend time with parents any more than when they were in HS. I enjoyed the freedom of not parenting on a daily basis- regular meals being the main thing, and finally was getting into that mode when it was time for him to leave again. By now I no longer try to be sure he gets the home cooked meals he won't prepare for himself or do other things like I did other years, each year things are evolving.</p>
<p>This thread came at a good time for me to reflect- he just left, I haven't finished cleaning the house but did put away stuff left here and there. Mixed feelings. Miss the old parent/child relationship, still transitioning to an adult/parent one so things are not always smooth. Preparing for his visits and departures has become routine. Enough experience with his college persona and lifestyle to know the old days are gone forever- mixed feelings. I've now spent far too much time on this topic so I'll post and move on.</p>
<p>wis75 thanks for your post. We have a 25 yr old and an 18 to leave this next fall yr old. Feels like a constant adjustment as they are still evolving even though we are just aging. It is all mixed and if your friends are not at the same point they do not know how jumbled the parental feelings can be towards the very people you would gladly die for...</p>
<p>My daughter is here two more days, til Saturday noon. It has been a joy to have her at home. Freshman year break has been full of visits from H.S. friends and going out with H.S. friends, but she has spent some nice time with all of us, especially her 15-year-old brother. I will miss her very much when she goes back to school.</p>
<p>Yesterday a friend at work asked me if D was glad to be home or glad to be going back and I said both. She has had fun but misses her friends at school and the freedom of living on her own in the dorm.</p>
<p>Does it get easier ?
I think some things do, such as getting used to them being away. Some things get harder , like the realization that they are moving towards complete independance and a life far away from home.
Also, this break was way too short for my college junior..just over a week. She has a job and an apartment in Boston this year and she really needs the extra money , so off she went to try her best to keep that job , knowing some of the help would be laid off.
She too is looking to get into an internship , keeping her away for summer for the first time. She will be home for spring break , so that helps. I am doing my best to deny the inevitability of her getting a job in LA....
Then my freshman had a rather short break too,, because of the school she attends. She was home for two weeks, but she spent much of that time with her high school friends , so it seeme like we never saw her.
Our 11 year old who is obviously still at home is pretty sad about the quiet when they are gone.
I would trade piles of laundry and loud stereos if it gave me a few more weeks of having them around.
It is odd because as a parent, I did my best to encourage them to be independant and follow their dreams...I know plenty of parents that put limits of where there kids can go
( how far away ) A lot of those kids can't seem to function away from home and come home to go to a the local state college.
I keep telling myself that I did the right thing</p>
<p>I'm wondering if most (if not all) of the posters on this thread are mothers. The sentiments sound quite motherly.</p>
<p>I am a mother here :)</p>
<p>I am a dad.</p>
<p>jk :D</p>
<p>Well, I guess it gets better w/time, but for H and me it is still hard. In 2003, S left to live in H's country, 10 days later D left for BS. We were empty nesters 4 years before we had anticipated. It was hard. S is fully ensconced (sp?) in his country, working for its DoD, D 1200 m. away at college. This past Tuesday was the first night I spent alone at home w/o H,S,D or dog, who had to be put down just after Christmas. H switched to nights to avoid all the Chicago daytime traffic. </p>
<p>End of ramble.</p>
<p>wis75, I love your bittersweet post. Thank you for writing it. You help me realize that the college years are really a continuous period of adjustment to our new relationship with our son. He leaves Tuesday evening after the inauguration. It will be an exciting, jam-packed day (starting early--and very cold!). We have been so focused on contingency plans for getting him to the airport that I haven't thought much about his leaving. I know that Wednesday will be eerily quiet around here, as it hits us that he's gone again. I don't know who will miss him more--his parents or the dog.</p>
<p>My son and I arrived back from a quick overseas (UK) trip on Monday afternoon. We had dinner with husband/father who then left on a biz trip. Son started to agitate to leave for college -- a 4 hour drive -- right after H left. I refused to allow it. Jet lag and all that. I hid the keys and told him that since my name was on the title to his car, that I would report the car stolen if he left the driveway.</p>
<p>We finally compromised on sleep for 6 hours and then you can leave. He loaded his car and then went to bed -- and woke me up at 3 am. Of course he couldn't find his keys!</p>
<p>He finally left at 3:30 am and promised to text me every 30 minutes. He arrived at his apartment at 7 am. (Quick trip that!)</p>
<p>I miss him lots -- but will see him in a few weeks when the spring season starts on 2/7!</p>
<p>Daughter leaves in an hour.</p>
<p>I will miss her, but Winter Break is such an awkward time. There's not enough for kids on break to do, and parents are working. For those who have a whole month off, the time is both too long and too short (too long to just hang around the house, too short to get a job, in most instances).</p>
<p>Meanwhile, on the other side of the country, my other offspring, who is in graduate school and only came home for six days at Christmas, is sick with a stomach virus and has been calling me to complain about it because even when you're 22, your mom is the only person you can complain to repeatedly without a loss of dignity. So I do still feel sort of like a parent, at least for a day or two.</p>
<p>wis75, thank you for your post. You said it so eloquently. It is bittersweet and yes we did our job by setting them free.</p>
<p>It was wonderful, wonderful, wonderful to have her home. Our situation was a little different because she is transferring mid-freshman year, and it was such a relief to have her out of the school that had been such a terrible fit for her. Of course we had to drive 10 hours to pack and bring ALL of her stuff home & that was not fun. But having her here, and seeing the changes and growth in her, has been great. Of course out every night with friends, sleeping half the day, etc. Still, it felt so good to have her here.</p>
<p>Now, after a full month, I think we are both really ready for her to be off on the new adventure. Nothing was ever UNpacked from the previous school and now has to be sorted through and REpacked for the new school because she's planning on bringing way less stuff this time. None of that has been done and we're leaving at 6 AM on Saturday...</p>
<p>I'll miss her a lot, and I bounce back and forth between feeling sad that she's going and anticipating having my space and peace and order back. I feel guilty just saying that there are things about her being in college that I enjoy! </p>
<p>Sigh.</p>
<p>D goes back on Sunday for her last semester of college. We're anticipating that she'll be back for a little bit this summer before she heads off to who-knows-where. But this will be the last college vacation she will have unless she goes to grad school in the future. S did manage to be with us for 2.5 weeks - one of the upsides of being self-employed.</p>
<p>But yes, it does get easier with time, and we know we'll see her in May for commencement, if I don't see her sooner (business travel).</p>