<p>Thanks for the positive feedback on my long post- I was afraid it might be too much, but knowing it resonated with others made the time spent worthwhile.</p>
<p>My D a freshman, went back almost 2 weeks ago, and after a month at home. I’d had about enough. I’ve been feeling sad without knowing why. Her first semester had ups and downs, but she seems to be adjusting, and I am happy about that. She just called, excited about her first article in the school paper. We too, have another at home, who sounds like he’s coming through the ceiling, playing drums on “Rock Band”. yeah…it’s gonna be rough when he goes.</p>
<p>Empty nesters here, youngest DD left this fall and while I knew what to expect the first month was still a bit awkward, but now we are into our own routine and it was wonderful to have them home…wonderful to be snowed in for most of two weeks so they all three hung out here playing cards, staying up late, laughing, etc.</p>
<p>Two went back to school 2 weeks ago and one is on extended travel, coming home this weekend and then back to school Monday, so we still have that lingering mess. I now understand the older generation telling me they liked our visits but enjoyed putting everything back where it belongs when we leave!</p>
<p>This is a great post! It makes my feel not so guilty that I am kinda of glad when my kids go back to school. I do miss the “old times” when my kids were little but isn’t it our goal as parents to raise our kids to be independent? I have to keep reminding myself of that when my two are at home. I have to remind myself that they have built a new life and are happy, that they have lived independently for some time, making their own decisions. I should be happy about that. Yet it is still hard not to be “a mother” when they come home, keep odd hours, hardly spend any time at home, leave a mess all over, take incredibly long showers and leave the lights on all over. I love my kids but it is time for all of us to get back to our “new normal”.</p>
<p>Last fall H proposed we take a trip to Hawaii over the holidays. Second question immediately following was “should we take the kids (ages 20 &22)?” When others asked why, answer was simple, it was the only time we see them! To have them for a week to ourselves (well almost. Their phone plans still worked there 
) was the best present ever and the time was way too short. Now we are all back in our various freezing environments, but the experience, as they say, was priceless.
On the other hand, I now understand my own folks (in their mid 80s) when they talk about how good it is to see their kids and how they wish they could see us more. Indeed a double edge sword - family ties and independent lifestyles.</p>
<p>“They’re finally leaving”</p>
<p>When I saw the title of this thread, I thought it referred to Bush & Cheney. ;-)</p>
<p>It really makes me feel so much less alone seeing that everyone is really ambivalent about the break’s ending about now. I, too, totally loved having her home and will feel bad on Monday when we take her back. But I have to admit I am looking forward to sleeping better without keeping one ear awake for the all-too-common late night returns. The worry doesn’t ever go away completely, but it really changes, doesn’t it? Depending on the proximity of the worry-ee. Made up word. Bittersweet just about sums it up…</p>
<p>What timing–my DS drove off about five minutes ago. I had hoped to be able to take him back to school but he and his roommate are going to visit roommate’s brother at another school this weekend before heading back to their own.</p>
<p>Oldest child, first year in college, so I didn’t know what to expect from this four-week-long time with him. So nice to have him around the house, but really we were on as different schedules as we were last summer. I don’t feel like I actually got much time with him.</p>
<p>This whole year has been a mix of happy and sad. So sad to see him leave again but happy that he’s excited to go back. We heard too many stories this break about friends who are either not going back to school at all or making plans to transfer next year. </p>
<p>Yes, I am sad and empty, but it’s all for a very good reason.</p>
<p>It goes on and on. D graduated last May and is working on the East Coast. Didn’t have vacation time to come home for the holidays, so if Mohammed could not go to the mountains, the mountains went to Mohammed, though it took cashing in all sorts of frequent flyer miles and rewards points to make <em>that</em> possible.</p>
<p>Spent two days of the trip doing little besides assembling IKEA-grade furniture in her first apartment, necessitated by a roommate transition that involved some furniture vanishing. It was worth it. (Meanwhile, the spouse of the house dealt with dust bunnies, dust buffalo, and dust kangaroos.)</p>
<p>I maintain a number of mental calendars and one of them is when the next time we’ll see D is. (Current ans: 8 weeks, 6 days…she’s coming home for 3-1/2 days to attend a wedding.)</p>
<p>I now totally get why some parents retire and move to be close to their kids. </p>
<p>D is likely to be going to grad school in 2-3 years, but that too will most likely be on the East Coast and her choice of work is definitely East Coast-specific. One of my goals is getting our home paid off. One of the next goals is getting a condo on the East Coast that we can rent out until we’re ready to semi-retire and then divide the year between the coasts. (Whereas the current economy makes just getting through the next six months a strenuous endeavor.)</p>
<p>Dave: several people on this forum over the years have called me a mother.</p>
<p>Dragonmom: LOL at the 35-minute shower. For D when she’s home, it’s the long soaking baths, sometimes two a day.</p>
<p>Thank you for all your posts. I’m sure a lot of parents whose kids are still seniors in HS are also reading them.
We need to prepare ourselves for the next year; especially as in our case of an only daughter who will need to have 4 hour flight to see us…</p>
<p>Our daughter will have been home for six weeks when she returns to school next weekend. This year’s holiday schedule is an anomaly created by circumstances that dictated an early start for the college last August and thus an early end to the first semester. Next year she will have about a month. About the six weeks: I anticipated it far in advance and have been thrilled to have her home! She arrived mid-December absolutely plowed under from exams and ready for a break from dorm living, personalities (even her friends), etc. The holidays provided wonderful family time for movies, special dinners, and general schleping around if that was all any of us felt like doing. Daughter only got together with HS friends twice because most of her HS friends live elsewhere since she attended boarding school. At the two weeks to go mark she professed to being bored but seems to have rallied and now is again enjoying reading for pleasure (which she can never do during the semesters) and watching movies. So it has been largely wonderful for all: the most time off at home without school work she has had since sophomore year of high school. I am savoring each hour because Daughter already has secured a job as a camp counselor for the entire summer and is planning internships and travel for subsequent breaks. Very, very bittersweet to have her home; she completes the household, yet is its most active, focused and forward-looking member, always pointed toward the next opportunity for learning and adventure. That’s a blessing, but she is missed every day when she is away.</p>
<p>All these posts made me laugh and cry…and just what the doctor ordered. These are difficult transitions - but I am thankful that son who is a freshman is doing so well. It is also interesting to read that by the third holiday break the get-together with the friends have slowed down. Even the first year I can seem them all going different directions. </p>
<p>It is time for us to start to move on. I still have a dd at home. I worry more about her and what she will do and where she will end up. As a hs sophomore, she just hasn’t found her stride yet. I truly enjoy whatever family time we can get. I am also sad - and happy - that my son has already found an internship for the summer but not at home - he’ll be a couple hours away. I think he would have preferred the intership that was a 3 hour flight away but lucky for us the closer one came through first.</p>
<p>I think I need to go off and find some new hobbies…</p>
<p>My son left last week.</p>
<p>I think my biggest surprise was how little he’d changed. Based on posts from last year I fully expected an arrogant kid with a new taste of independence to return home. Life during this past month was for the most part peaceful as we all settled in to a routine that was reminiscent of when he was in high school. Throughout the past month I frequently commented to my husband about how lucky we are, and how he really is a good kid.</p>
<p>Positives:
He got up at 6 Am Christmas morning because he has two younger brothers that wanted him to get up with them to open gifts.
During a snow storm he actualy asked if it was OK to go out with friends, when I said no, he was fine with it.
He worked 60 hours at his old job
He did his own laundry - WOW
He kept his room clean - this is new- he said it’s because he’s used to living in a small space.
He visited his grandmother.</p>
<p>Negatives
Slept until 2:00 unless he had to work
Tons of friends in the house until very late - didn’t seem to understand that we had to work or go to school the next day.
We really didn’t spend much time with him, but that’s the way high school was also</p>
<p>All in all, I am so happy that the kid that returned during break is a newer and somewhat better version than the one I sent away.</p>
<p>Our tale is the tale of 2 breaks; S, a senior, who had spent a semester off campus interning during the fall, left before January 1 to settle into a new apartment and take a road trip with friends before the semester started. He finally gave me permission to take the chair from his room that I tried to “steal” last year and got ratted out by a GF (short-lived relationship) who happened to be over here when I had kids moving it, so I know he’s moved on to adulthood in his mind. I still felt needed, however, when he called me 9 times in one afternoon as he was shopping for his apartment needs; H commented that he never did that in his day, and I reminded him that it wasn’t possible to stand in WalMart in front of microwaves with different wattages with a cell phone in hand in his day.</p>
<p>D, a freshman, is returning to campus this weekend after 4 weeks. Paradoxically she says she loves her school but isn’t looking forward to returning, although she thought she would be. (A road trip reunion with college friends last weekend as HS friends were returning to their campuses in droves probably contributed to that feeling.) After an awkward dance of living together again the first couple of weeks she was here, we have really settled into somewhat different roles in which we are interacting with her as a responsible and caring emerging adult, and she is a pleasure to have around. I can’t predict what my reaction will be to her departure; I hope it feels right, but the quiet that I missed so much when they first descended on us will probably feel overwhelming for a few days.</p>
<p>S2 left a week ago to return for his second semester. We miss him terribly and the silent house he left behind, but I have found that I’m less obsessive this time than when we left him in August. I guess it’s because we know he has settled in well and is doing very well. He calls when he needs thing. And we’re especially happy he still calls when something exciting happens.</p>
<p>DS only had two weeks at xmas off, and was sick for most of it. We enjoy having him around so much and he’s a very considerate kind of person - so we missed him as sooon as he left.</p>
<p>Just dropped my daughter off at the Cleveland airport. It’s 9 degrees here in NE Ohio and 59 degrees in Austin, Texas. She was looking forward to being back at school after her first winter break at home, but she was sad to be leaving us. (I’m glad she was not skipping out of the house without a backward glance.) </p>
<p>Since she’ll be coming home for spring break, I’ll see her again in 8 weeks. Maybe this semester we will Skype talk to each other with the webcam. </p>
<p>I miss her a lot when she is gone. Actually, I miss her a lot already. She is so bubbly that having her around brightens up our whole house. :)</p>
<p>D2 just sent a text (notice I can’t bring myself to make “texted” a verb) that she is back on campus after a night at friend’s parent’s house and then a 5 hour drive. I’m glad - she won’t have the last-minute worry of past vacations. Dorms officially open tomorrow but when you get back early on a small campus you know the RAs and can get into some kind of housing…
I’m so glad that I can turn the worry factor over to the school…</p>
<p>I’m tempted to start a thread “What colleges have at least a one month break for Christmas?” as I am hoping that D picks a school that has more vacation than her brother did. The time flew by.</p>