Things To Do Before/When Child Leaves for College

Parents Forum
1

<p>I thought I was reasonably well-prepared, but I just learned that canceling daughter's 24 Hour fitness membership effectively requires 60 days notice. (So much for a month-to-month membership.) Anyway, I thought it might be helpful to put in my list, and if anyone has other things to add, add 'em. </p>

<p>30-60 Days Before Leaving
- Notify gym to cancel (or suspend) membership so charges don't accrue while kid is away from college.
- Give magazines a college address and ask that magazines be redirected as of the move-in date.
- Figure out if any prescriptions (such as contact lens) are going to expire during the time away and have a plan (early check-up or doc agrees to extend the Rx until Thanksgiving break)
- Find (or get) Social Security card in case student will be getting a job -- we last saw this when she was a baby, so I've got to figure out where I might have stashed it.</p>

<p>Sometime before Leaving
- Notify car insurer that child will be attending college and won't be taking car. (In our case, it also affects the umbrella liability policy, dropping it by almost half.)
- Get insurance card /Rx Drug card for child (our insurer was happy to send an extra along) -- ditto on dental insurance card
- Find a couple of dentists close to the college that are within our plan. Figure out which local hospital(s) are in the insurance plan.<br>
- Notify credit card company that credit card (if child has one) will be used from a new location.
-Cancel/suspend/decrease Netflix subscription (maybe some cabletv packages, depending)
- Set up laptop damage insurance -- turned out our insurance co. has this as a very cheap ($50/year) $0 deductible personal effects policy, covering accidental damage, drops, spills and thefts. Digital cameras and the like can also be added for a bit more.</p>

2

<p>For everyone whose child takes meds that are “controlled substances” make a plan. We want Son to be responsible for his meds, so we made him an appointment with a local doctor for move-in day.</p>

3

<p>Actually… I found out that if you use a walgreens or other national chain, you can get your prescriptions filled at any location (in or out of state), even those which are controlled like ritalin, etc. </p>

<p>Thanks for the reminder about car insurance though. I know our guy makes it so he’s insured when he’s home and not when he’s not. He would still, however, be covered as a driver of any other car. Will also have to check on health insurance, although I think college kids get a waiver for in and out of plan networks if they’re going to school out of state. Worth double checking though.</p>

4

<p>Good thought about the gym membership - I missed that one! I’ve been sending prescription meds to my freshman D - makes a good excuse for a care package every month or so.</p>

<p>Our car insurance requires that the school be 100+ miles away to get the student at school discount.</p>

5

<p>Check for other medical and dental items needed long before kid has to leave. Shots required, wisdom teeth removed, etc. Not every thing can be scheduled at the last minute.</p>

6

<p>Make sure to pack a number of extension cords and at least 25 feet of CAT5 network cable. The book store, Walmart, radio shack and Best Buy were sold out the day our S moved into his dorm at UMASS.</p>

7

<p>To do sometime during the summer:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Find out whether your cell phone company has decent service in your child’s college town. If it doesn’t, your child may need to get a cell phone from a different company. </p></li>
<li><p>Figure out what your child is going to do for transportation home during college breaks, and make reservations if appropriate. The earlier you do this, the better. (For example, my daughter attends a college where the optimum transportation to our area for breaks is a charter bus – which sells out every time, often months in advance. She has already reserved her seat for all the breaks during the coming school year.)</p></li>
<li><p>Try to determine whether there is a bank that has branches both within an easy drive of your home and within walking distance of where your child will be living at college. If there is one, that’s the bank where your child should get a checking account (and debit card). </p></li>
<li><p>Make an appointment for a dental checkup during one of the school breaks. </p></li>
<li><p>If your child doesn’t already have a passport, suggest that he or she apply for one. You never know when one will be needed. (My son was certainly glad he already had one when he was given the opportunity to attend a professional conference in Ireland. And my daughter was glad she had one when she was offered an internship with a foreign-based organization that required a copy of her passport as part of her background check.)</p></li>
<li><p>Find out what size the dorm beds are before buying sheets/blankets. Some colleges have twin-extra-long beds. Standard twin fitted sheets won’t work on those beds.</p></li>
<li><p>Make sure the student gets thoroughly acquainted with the course catalog before registration. This doesn’t just mean picking four or five courses; it means having backups in mind (in case a course is full or something else – like a poor score on a placement test – keeps the student out of a course).</p></li>
</ol>

8

<p>If your child is over the age of 18, have him/her sign a Health Care Proxy and also a Durable Power of Attorney which names primary and alternate Agents for financial and medical treatment decision-making. Then forward copies of at least the Health Care Proxy to the infirmary at your child’s school, to be included with their Health History form and insurance information. (In my opinion, it’s not necessary to provide copies of the Durable Power of Attorney, which is for emergency financial decision-making. You can always fax the Durable Power of Attorney to the school’s business office and/or the local bank if and when necessary). But the Health Care Proxy, in my opinion, should be on-file with the infirmary or Health Office at the child’s school from the beginning. </p>

<p>These documents are state-specific and can be modified to include language which requires parent(s) or other trusted 3rd parties to be notified in the event of medical/mental illness. If your child attends school out of state language can easily be included which confirms that both documents are intended to be effective no matter what state they are called-upon to be used … </p>

<p>Example #1: During my son’s Freshman year, a good friend of his from the dorm required hospitalization. It was the middle of the night and this boy’s parents were out of state. This boy did not have a Health Care Proxy. Not many college students do. My then-18 year old son accompanied his friend to the hospital and wound-up being named as his friend’s Health Care Agent (these forms are often presented at the hospital upon admission). Now my son is a very capable kid, but naming him as Health Care Agent for his friend was probably not a good idea. If the hospitalized boy needed anesthesia or was rendered unable to speak for himself, my son would have been asked to make the decisions!</p>

<p>Example #2: My daughter was a boarding student at a boarding school in the Northeast. One of her friends was from California, but the family had a trusted adult friend who lived close to the school. Before this girl turned 18, the trusted adult friend was named as the girl’s stand-by Guardian in the event of an emergency. When the girl turned 18 during her senior year, she signed a Health Care Proxy and Durable Power of Attorney which named this trusted friend as her Agent for emergency decision-making. As a result, the girl’s parents felt much better about having her so far away and in a different time zone … </p>

<p>I could go on and on with examples from my own practice … </p>

<p>But more to the point: I think the Virginia Tech shooting might have been prevented, if the shooter’s parents been notified of his depression and treatment for mental illness. A Health Care Proxy which names parents as Health Care Agents and is modified to require parents or another trusted adult to be notified of medical/mental treatment or therapy might have done the trick. Once your child is 18, he or she is legally able to sign such a document. With the right document, all of the HIPAA privacy rules can be waived.</p>

<p>These documents are not intended as an invasion of the child’s privacy but rather, they can be designed to ensure that the correct parties are called in the event of an emergency. I would rather have my children choose the identity of their Health Care Agents once they turn 18 (and financial agents too, if needed), rather than leaving those important decisions to chance. I also want to be one of the first people notified if my child has a medical emergency while away at school. </p>

<p>Can you tell that I’m an attorney? </p>

<p>Just a thought … hope it helps!</p>

9

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<p>On the other hand, if a student knows that his parents will be notified, he might be reluctant to seek treatment for mental illness, especially if the student is from a family or cultural group in which mental illness is stigmatized. It could work either way. Unlike the Virginia Tech shooter, most people with mental illness are not a danger to others. It’s only their own well-being that is affected by whether or not they get treatment. It would be unfortunate to inadvertently discourage anyone who needs treatment from seeking it.</p>

10

<p>Can I also suggest that your child take care of some of these things? These are the real world, everyday life stuff that they need to start to take charge of and be responsible for. Your mind is obviously already geared to think of these things to take care of - now it’s their turn to get that mindset!!!</p>

11

<p>Marian posted: On the other hand, if a student knows that his parents will be notified, he might be reluctant to seek treatment for mental illness, especially if the student is from a family or cultural group in which mental illness is stigmatized. It could work either way. </p>

<p>Yes, but in such case, the student might not have been willing to sign a Health Care Proxy in the first place. The planning really only works where the student (who must be over the age of 18) is a willing participant. In most families, this would not be a problem and having the 18+ student sign a Health Care Proxy (regardless of whether or not the student will attend school out of town), is an excellent idea.</p>

<p>Here’s an example: 17 year old student suffers traumatic head injuries in a bad car accident. Because the accident victim is a minor, his parents can make all medical treatment decisions for him, including choosing the course of therapy and treatment as well as the facilities and providers of services. In this case, the accident victim was eventually discharged from the hospital to a reputable traumatic brain injury facility.</p>

<p>The victim remained comatose on his 18th birthday. With no Health Care Proxy in place, once the victim turned 18 (i.e., the age of majority in the victim’s state of residence), the parents no longer had legal authority to oversee his care. At that point, the rehab facility insisted (and they were correct) that the parents bring an (expensive) Court proceeding to secure their appointment as legal Guardians. Such proceedings can be protracted and expensive in the best case scenario, but think of the situation of a blended family or 2nd marriage where the child’s birth parent + step-parent want to have primary responsibility for the child’s care … in cases like that, the proceeding may be contested by the non-custodial birth parent.</p>

<p>Anyway, the last thing that family needed in those devastating circumstances was to bring a Court proceeding to secure a legal Guardianship, on top of everything else they were facing. In that situation, it couldn’t be helped because the victim was only 17 when the accident occurred. But I know many family physicians now counsel families to have their (adult) children sign Health Care Proxies upon turning 18, as a result of this real-life local example, and for many other reasons.</p>

<p>P.S. I agree with abasket above. The student should easily be able to take care of such things as changing the address on magazine subscriptions, canceling a gym subscription and/or buying the correct bed sheets. But stuff like securing a passport, choosing a bank near the school and setting up an account, confirming medical/dental appointments and the Health Care Proxy/Power of Attorney matters mentioned above should probably be initiated by the parent … :)</p>

12

<p>Is a Health Care Proxy a standard thing (available online or from our physician’s office), or is it something that needs to be written up on a case by case basis?</p>

13

<p>The Health Care Proxy is statutory - which means it is governed by state law, so the forms will vary from state to state. However, you do not need an attorney to complete a Health Care Proxy form, and the form should be available through your treating physician. If not, then I would suggest checking your state government website before using the links that might come up from a google search. </p>

<p>For example, in New York State, the ‘official’ Health Care Proxy form is available on the NYS Assembly website. The other websites that came up in my google search were pretty much junk. Even if you’re not a NYS resident, the NYS Assembly website is very informative on this topic. I don’t think I’m allowed to post the link here, but if you google “Health Care Proxy New York State” the assembly website with official form should come up, and if you read through the form it includes links to ‘frequently asked questions’ and ‘instructions’ that might be helpful regardless of where you are. </p>

<p>Finally, you may want to add language on the form which says it is intended to be effective in “any state or country”, just to be safe.</p>

<p>Hope this helps … Good luck!</p>

14

<p>Remind them that they should NEVER have sex without a condom.</p>

15

<p>Is the health care proxy the same form listed (by state) on the US living will website? [US</a> Living Will Registry: Advance Directive Forms](<a href=“http://uslwr.com/formslist.shtm]US”>http://uslwr.com/formslist.shtm)</p>

16

<p>Thankfully my wide was hep enough to say “yes” to a GPS in the rental carwhen we moved D into giant Midwestern school . . . made it a lot easier to find the Targets, Best Buys and Staples that were far enough away from campus not be sold out. </p>

<p>tip o’ the hat to osdad</p>

17

<p>Back to sharonohio: Yes, it appears to be so.</p>

18

<p>Appointment with teen and women’s health center or gyn for birth control pills. Touch base with college area pharmacy to set up a relationship for getting prescriptions filled. </p>

<p>Set up whatever system you can so that you can get info on medical issues. Not to be involved in every little thing, but so that if you need to, they will give you info. My D had a medical issue that really required my being in contact with the medical center, and it was much harder to set up after the fact than it would have been to do it in advance. (Thanks for the medical proxy advice.)</p>

<p>Make yourself a list of numbers for the contacts you set up - pharmacy, dentist, health center, insurance provider, whatever. D had quite a few issues in her first semester and I was assembling phone numbers as I went along. It would have been nice to have had them all before I needed them. It’s a good idea to have them all on one sheet of paper so you aren’t looking all over creation for them when you need them. I’d include things like Student Accounts on that list.</p>

19

<p>Just printed out the health care proxy forms for our state. Something called “Five Wishes” is legally viable in 40 states? <a href=“https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php[/url]”>https://www.agingwithdignity.org/five-wishes.php&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

20

<p>You may also wish to have your child sign a letter authorizing the college to a) send you grades; b) talk to you about academic performance (e.g., is he/she near probation, etc.); c) talk to you about health and other problems affecting or potentially affecting academic performance; and d) talk to you about financial issues (like bills not getting paid). Schools may otherwise say that they are bound by confidentiality requirements not to divulge information.</p>