Think this deserved a 12?

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>This is mine, and I should say the writing looked absolutely SHYTTY!!!!!!!</p>

<p>Absolute focus is necessary for discovery of new truths. Andrew Wiles, a mathematician, secluded himself from all contact to prove the elusive Fermat's Last Theorem. Likewise, Da Vinci, a renaissance man of the 16th century mapped out the human anatomy because of raw determination and concentration. However, not all discoveries should be revealed; Oedipus Rex, a fictional character, was ruined by a disturbing discovery that his boundless tenacity led to.</p>

<p>For Andrew Wiles, mathematics was his lifeblood. He obsessed over Fermat's Last Theorem since the age of nine. The theorem evaded mathematicians for centuries, but Andrew was not going to be intimidated. For ten years, Andrew shunned the outside world to focus on the theorem. He toiled; he obsessed over it; he solved the mystery that was Fermat's Last Theorem--a revolutionary discovery that brought the mathematics world to its knees.</p>

<p>Da Vinci was just as spectular, if not moreso. His genius continues to baffle people to this day. He painted, invented and did so much more. As a revolution thinker, he was the first man to treat the human body as a machine. Much like Wiles, he separated himself from the outside world to ponder the mysteries of life. After getting and studying repulsive cadavers, he was able to map out the human body's veins, muscles, and skeletal structure with amazing precision. In fact, his drawings are so well done that they are still used for reference by modern doctors.</p>

<p>Sadly, Oedipus Rex's discovery was not one that should have been found. Oedipus, a character of a Greek play, relentlessly searched for the truth about his origins. Day and night he pondered trying to find the answer, and when he did the result was devastating. He, the king, married and bore children with his own mother. In the end, the once revered king was left in shambles and his wife was dead from suicide.</p>

<p>Perseverence, fueled by insatiable curiosity, is the source of many important discoveries that change the world. In the words of Da Vinci, "He who is fixed on a star does not change his mind" because great rewards await the patient and determined man.</p>

<p>This is exactly as shown on the site.</p>

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<p>Oh, and this is not to increase my ego. I was just curious on opinions, and if anyone wants a 12 reference they can use this one.</p>

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<p>Mine was horrible when I read mine as well. However, they graded mine as a 12. I think, Sephiroth, that we forget that under a 25-minute controlled environment we will never write an essay with as much potential like the rest of our essays when we have a bit more time to actually think, elaborate, edit, etc...</p>

<p>Here's mine:</p>

<p>Assignment: Are all important discoveries the result of focusing on one subject? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<pre><code>Discoveries through the course of human history has marked mankind’s ability to perceive the world. Yet, discoveries are simply events where the unknown is made known; it does not require a fundamental process to ensure a discovery. Discoveries, for the most part, are not sought out, but during the journey of another action a discovery, by chance, happens.

Isaac Newton, the father of physics in modern science, did not begin developing his theories and natural laws without having first encountered a catalyst for his research. Newton was a mathematician, he was not seeking to apply numbers to actions of matter and how it relates to physics. During his studies of math, Newton witnessed a natural occurrence– he saw an apple fall from a tree. Newton was not waiting for an apple to fall, nor was he expecting the event. He was merely studying, but this coincidental action sparked questions in Newton; he wished to know why the apple had fallen. Eventually, Newton ended up with a theory that became a natural law– he had made a discovery in physics that began with chance.

Discoveries that are sought out by explorers of a certain field may not be the ones to experience those discoveries. A perfect example is the question of how the Cretaceous extinction of the dinosaurs happened. For years, paleontologists searched for evidences but only came up with inconclusive hypotheses. Paleontologists did not discover the most conclusive evidence or hypothesis to the extinction that is most widely accepted in modern science. A geologist named Luis Alvarez was studying the chemical composition of the earth’s crust around the world to compare his data. But he found an interesting layer of iridium covering the entire earth that dates approximately to the extinction of the dinosaurs. This layer could only be uniformly created at the same time by comets or asteroids striking the earth. He combined the hypothesis with the observation of the Yucatan crater which exhibits an impact that would catastrophically raise the iridium levels. Paleontologists could not believe the validity and rejected the hypothesis for some time. What they were searching for was accidentally discovered by a geologist not researching the dinosaur extinction. The hypothesis was recognized as “The Alvarez Hypothesis” that we accept today as the correct theory.

Therefore, important discoveries do not happen by search in every case. Some of the most important discoveries were discovered by those absorbed by an entirely separate subject. Great discoveries also happen by chance.
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<p>Both of those are fantastic and easily warrented the 12. They are so eloquently written, and the subject matter is quite advanced. Good job. Btw: referencing classical literature is always the way to go ;)</p>

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<p>This essay, by my friend, was written a while ago. Although he claims it earned a score of 12, I hardly believe so. What do you guys think?</p>

<p>"We thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place."
These words from Edwin Arlington Robinson's famous poem "Richard Cory" describe what people often feel when they see others who apparently lead happier, richer, and more content lives than they do.
The kind of envy to which Robinson refers may serve as a strong motivating force for some people to improve their condition and place in life. On the other hand, envy may also be a self-devastating and ultimately frustrating emotion because it was lead people to strive in vain for unattainable goals. In your view is envy generally a positive or a negative force in people's lives? Please use evidence from your studies, you reading and your personal observation to support your opinion.</p>

<pre><code>Envy is ultimately a veil for corruption. When overcome with a gripping desire for someone else's fortunes, individuals can often forsake moral principles for selfish needs. Although some might argue that envy serves as a driving force for progress, more often than not jealous individuals too obsessed and passionate in attaining benefits overlook the necessities of others and develop a rather egotistical frame of mind that can turn out to be deleterious to all.

The tainting qualities of envy is perhaps most vividly illustrated in Shakespeare's Julius Caesar. Although some members of the conspiracy against Caesar, such as Brutus, were impelled by noble means, others, such as Cassius plotted the ruler's death because of intense envy towards the luxurious and glorious life enjoyed by the ambitious dictator-to-be. Interestingly, it was this envy that formed the conspiracy in the first place. Cassius, eager to see the disastrous fall of the mighty Caesar, was the first individual to mention an assassination of the potentate. Had it not been for Cassius venomous yet toxically cogent words, Brutus would not have renounced loyalty to his ruler. However, Brutus, as malleable as dough, fell into Cassius plan, whose envious drive was thinly concealed by the purported noble purpose of freeing Rome and its citizens from a terrible potentate. Envy, in this case, ultimately contributed to Caesar's tragic death, and later to the death of Brutus, who in later combat with Octavius, killed himself to avoid being captured by the enemy.

On a larger scale, the feeling of envy is even more perverse. In fact, it is strong enough to induce people into violence and bloodshed. One of the main factors contributing to the Russian communism revolution was the discontent and envy of the poor towards the aristocracy, which wallowed in comfort and pleasure. Long before the actual revolution broke out, farmers, factory workers were already incubating jealousy in their hearts as they saw that landlords and factory owners acquired an unfairly large portion of the profits so arduously produced by their own sweat. Once this jealousy reached its zenith, strong violent emotions burst forth in the form of a major and bloody overhaul of the economic and social system. During the revolution, countless individuals were killed as the lower class let anger and vindictiveness cloud their morals and virtues. In the end, the envy harbored by these poor classes inflicted more harm than it did good, as the Russian socio-economic conditions were crippled for years to come.

Essentially, the feeling of envy is to be avoided when necessary. It often brings forth the most vile qualities in human nature because people in the state of envy often confuse the rights and wrongs.
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