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<p>Essay topic: Are all important discoveries the result of focusing on one subject?
All important discoveries are the result of focusing on one subject rather than dabbling in many subjects, as Santiago Ramon y Cajal pointed out in his quotation. To make a great new discovery, one must spend a lot of time in one area, becoming an expert on a topic so that they can make the next important step. One cannot think outside the box if they do not understand what is inside the box first.
Albert Einstein invented the theory of relativity. He spent all of his years studying physics. But physics is not a picayune subject, so he confined himself to quantum and atomic physics. Einstein’s laws and discoveries were a result of his focused work beginning with his interests in physics he developed since doing his research in graduate school.
The trend in colleges also suggests Santiago Ramon y Cajal’s idea that important discoveries result from patience, perseverance, and concentration on one specific subject. Although colleges like to see well-rounded students that have a variety of interests, they also want to see a specific focus, whether it be in math, physics, or history. These are the types of students that will succeed in their area of focus. Everyone has a limited amount of time and energy devoted to their work. Concentrating it on a specific area is much more effective than splitting it between a plethora of projects.
Andrew Wiles, a mathematics professor at Princeton, solved a problem that had eluded mathematicians for decades, known as Fermat’s Last Theorem. Wiles dedicated nine years to solving this single problem. To really focus his energy on this problem, he stopped publishing other papers. This devotion to a single problem over a long period of time is what led to his success in making a new discovery.
It is clear that important discoveries are the result of focusing on one subject. One cannot expect to devote his/her time to a multitude of areas and expect to make as much progress as one who devotes all of their time to one subject. This is exemplified in the discoveries of Albert Einstein, Andrew Wiles, and the paths of those entering the collegiate world.</p>

<p>Could someone please grade my essay and help me improve? Any comments would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance.</p>

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<p>8/12.
if you organized it better this could easily have been 10/12</p>

<p>put quotations around the quote in your intro.
elaborate more on each specific example and create a body paragraph for each example, (so three body paragraphs for you)
without individual body paragraphs you seem unorganized and it seems as if you are just rambling out random examples.
you have great examples!</p>

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<p>Thanks a lot, anyone else ? Please</p>

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<p>9/12 You need to connect your examples more to what the prompt wants you to talk about, but you are on the right track.</p>

<p>You should have just focused on one or two examples. You spread yourself too thin with three. That way, you could have added more details and developed them more. (How ironic that you did the opposite of your argument :P)</p>

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<p>■■■■■^ 10 char</p>