Thinking about dropping out of my PhD program

Graduate School
1

<p>Hi guys. I'm hoping to get people's input on the following situation.</p>

<p>I felt really good getting into a PhD program (I'm in a physics PhD program). I'm in the middle of my 2nd year right now. Anyway, back home, things aren't looking very good. Nobody is putting pressure on me, but I can read between the lines.</p>

<p>My parents have always been a low income family. I don't want to get into specifics. But the financial situation is not looking good at all. And my parents are a bit older, in their early 60s. The situation is not great right now, it's passable. But I am thinking towards the future. Being an academic will not be enough to support my parents. </p>

<p>My parents try really hard to hide their financial concerns, but I'm really very perceptive of these sorts of things. It's not good at all. </p>

<p>I'm really tortured right now. I have no idea what to do. What's actually making the situation even worse is, I have nothing to drop out to. </p>

<p>I don't have programming skills, I don't have any real work experience. I heard back in the day that Physics and Math grad students flocked to Wall Street, but I feel like with the proliferation of all the math finance masters programs, there is less demand for straight physics, math, compsci grad students. </p>

<p>My plan is to stay in grad school for 1 more year, basically drop out after my 3rd year is done and then try to look for a job. So I have about 1.5 years to learn how to program, maybe learn some math finance, numerical analysis and try to find a job. </p>

<p>Does anyone have any experience with this? I can't even express how heartbroken I am. I had everything lined up, I was ready to go to work with a certain professor. But I also feel like, on the other hand, I can't be someone who abandons my family. And my situation is not fluid enough where I can just bang, leave grad school and find a job within a few months. I think I need to start developing the skills now. </p>

<p>Any advice? I was thinking about talking to the grad adviser (not my thesis adviser, a general grad adviser for the physics program) who I have an incredible amount of respect for. But I don't know if this such a good thing to do right now. I might talk to him during the summer or next Fall.</p>

<p>I appreciate your responses.</p>

2

<p>I’ve thought about dropping out, too, as has virtually every PhD student in the business. It’s a grueling process. But IMO, your reasons are the wrong reasons to drop out.</p>

<p>Your parents are adults. It’s natural to be worried about them, but they have to take care of themselves. You shouldn’t be worried about supporting your parents financially or trying to take care of them, and you definitely shouldn’t be thinking about dropping out.</p>

<p>I understand not wanting to abandon your family - I come from a working-class background myself, and I sometimes worry what is going to happen to my parents in their old age. I know I may have to care for them. But dropping out is really not going to help your case either. You’d likely make more as an academic than you would as a drop out with a BS and no programming skills. And you’ll be competing ina down market with people with much more experience than you. And who knows - with a PhD in physics you can also work in industry and make a lot more money than you would as a professor.</p>

<p>Besides, from what it looks like the shoe hasn’t even dropped yet. You’re anticipating dropping out for what MIGHT happen, not what has happened or is even looming close on the horizon. IMO I think you should stay put where you are and figure out what to do when the time gets closer if your parents really do become incapacitated and cannot work. Who knows, the situation may hold tight until you finish (which should only be 3-4 more years). Maybe they have a contingency plan or other relatives that they can rely on. Don’t jump the gun.</p>

<p>Also, personally, I wouldn’t speak to a grad advisor yet. I’d talk to a counselor or something if one is covered by your health insurance. Perhaps down the line I might confess something vaguely to the grad advisor if it looks really bad.</p>

3

<p>Fortunately, despite the times, finance companies are still hiring. A student that just got his PhD here moved on to Goldman Sachs as his next job. However, you do not have to leave your PhD program to start working for these. If you go to job fairs, you might be able to set up an internship over the summer between your terms. Finance companies will try and bribe you away with about a $30k stipend (just for the summer!). I had a few friends take advantage of this over the past summer. </p>

<p>In any case, no need to leave your program until you secure your job. And if you dont have a research advisor, there should be no one to probe you on how you will be supporting yourself over the summer. </p>

<p>Good luck and hope this helps. (though for the most part I agree with what the person above says)</p>

<p>PS I am in a physics program as well, and so were the above people.</p>

4

<p>I’m speaking as a parent: I would be heart-broken if my child abandoned his education and dreams because of me. Most parents want their children to have what they never had – and I suspect that, in your case, they want you to have the education and job stability/prospects that eluded them. If you were to give that up, it might be just another burden to your parents, even if you were able to help them financially. Have you talked them about how they feel?</p>

<p>That said, lots of people leave their PhD programs for reasons other than academic issues. There is no shame in that. Make sure you get far enough to earn an M.S. so the years won’t be for naught. You say that you plan to stay for at least another year; maybe the situation will change or your options will be more clear. I agree with the advice offered above, to stay in your program until you have an actual job offer. After all, you can support yourself now on a graduate student stipend. If you were to drop out without anything else to immediately support you, you will make your parents’ financial situation even worse.</p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

5

<p>Thank you for all your replies. </p>

<p>I think you guys are right. The way I’m going to handle this is, this is the first time in my life where my actions really really will impact other people in my life. I think it’s really time for me to stop approaching academics as this thing I just like to do and approach it as something that is going to impact the rest of my life and the rest of my family’s life. </p>

<p>I’m going to try to embrace this responsibility. I think part of becoming an adult is handling responsibilities instead of shirking them. </p>

<p>I think I’m going to stay in grad school, but really have a sense of urgency with my life. I might tutor on the side to make some extra money and maybe rearrange my budget and save for a rainy day just to be cautious. </p>

<p>Thanks a lot guys.</p>

6

<p>I agree w/Momwaiting, I am a parent of a PhD student, I have no idea with the things you hear about the job market when and if she will get a job, but every time I see her again as she goes through her programme, I am so impressed with her passion and her expertise and I feel good as a parent that our sacrifices have helped her to reach for this arduous goal. She is not doing it to make us proud, she is doing it because she is a true academic and despite all the BS found in academia she wants to make a career of it.</p>

<p>I don’t know your family & cultural dynamics, but unless your family has a lifelong expectation that you will support them, I cannot comprehend them being happy for your to quit. How long is your Phd supposed to take? 5 years? Longer?</p>

<p>On the other hand, if along the way you decide that this is not the area for you for the rest of your life, then there is no shame is stopping the PhD. Whatever changes you make, do them for you, not for someone else, not even your parents. Then when you are properly situated, you can help them if you choose.</p>

<p>If you pursue academia, great, if you learn you don’t want that and pursue Wall Street because it is what you want, that could be great, too. But that lifestyle is too hard to live 24/7 unless it is what YOU really want</p>

7

<p>Depending on the specifics of the coursework, a PhD physicist can work as an engineer.
That’s what my husband does. He has a strong background in solid-state physics, materials science, electrical engineering, statistics, and computer science. High level engineers earn more than most professors.</p>

8

<p>@GaugeSymmetry: my input echoes what others have said. I think you should stay in graduate school, and take as much time as you need to train. After all, you can currently support yourself, and that time you spend to train will become invaluable. Getting a PhD will probably help you secure jobs to an extent anyway, despite the fact that a PhD without any motivation to adapt to the needs of employers isn’t going to fly as well.</p>

<p>But spending the extra time will afford you a chance to both get a degree representing some real skill, and retool yourself as whatever you want to be. The later stages of graduate school can afford a relatively high degree of freedom. </p>

<p>If you really want to get into the financial sector, train yourself to be a good candidate. Unlike those Master’s in Finance students, you have some extra time, presumably fully funded, in which you can prepare. There is little chance a PhD in Physics who has attempted to get strong programming skills and tries to stay in touch with the financial market is going to be totally rejected; I’m pretty sure there is value to your degree, as long as you don’t spend your time as a PhD student in an ivory-tower-academic’s mindset (which admittedly can be nice too, and lead to advancement, but may not be what you want for your situation).</p>

<p>Yes, you can also continue down the academic path. Have you considered finishing your PhD early? If you are focused, you can put together good work in shorter time than most. And it goes without saying that you’ll probably make much more as an Assistant Professor than as a graduate student.</p>

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<p>I don’t think that even if the parents do want to be supported, that GaugeSymmetry should necessarily be considering dropping out. See all I wrote above. </p>

<p>I can understand certain families wanting to be helped financially. But as has been brought up, and as GaugeSymmetry did so as well, having a sense of responsibility and remembering that a PhD is basically a job, and that studying physics through the bull-feces of academia is hardly the same as fulfilling a divine calling to advance the intellectual frontiers, will probably lead to better results than haphazardly leaving academia entirely. </p>

<p>That is, proceed with an open mind and train a little broader than in overly narrow academics, and look toward the future.</p>

9

<p>DO NOT DROP OUT. It sounds like you like being in your program but worry about your parents. Don’t. I’ll bet they would be horrified that any sacrifices they made so you could get this far would be wasted. They probably feel you owe them nothing, your job is to pay forward- to the next generation (my dad’s attitude). Also, so you have money- does this mean they will accept it? Mine won’t (sigh, I have the money but it is useless to give it to my dad- he won’t spend it). You may want to find out what plans they have for their old age- if nothing else they can likely get government aid, in addition to Medicare and any Social Security, there’s Medicaid. Do not try to secure their short term future at the expense of your long term future. Relax about them and enjoy your grad school life. Don’t add to any of their worries by shortchanging your opportunities.</p>