Thinking about leaving...

Colleges and Universities A-Z Merchant Marine Academy - Kings Point
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<p>USNA69, of course there may be many reasons why a person might want to leave KP. This is just a light informational blog where this student has reached out for information and suggestions. Then the answers given, of course, are also general, and could help others also. </p>

<p>Do you think for a minute that the things written here is the only time and interest some of us have in helping this girl????? That would be a waste. We start with what probably is the problem, at least 90% of the time, at this stage of the game. Then we write personal notes to this student reaching out to make contact. Finally, hopefully they are interested in meeting so we can listen.</p>

<p>Why be so negative? I suspect that a number of us will be listening, guiding, and most of all encouraging this midshipman, as she works through the decision process for herself. In the meantime, we will be giving of our selves and giving our time, as we care for the mids. For her, this will be a broadening and maturing process as she makes an adult decision what is best for her.</p>

<p>I am very happy that she is willing to stay the trimester. I suspect by this time next week, I could give you a name (which I won't) and we will have started the process of becoming friends. She needs someone who will listen as she processes what she is feeling. Some of us are there for her.</p>

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<p>KPMOM, you are absolutely correct. Your advice may be read by others and, as you have stated, it does not apply to all situations. So rather than give generic "suck it up, you are just like everyone else", help them to seek out personal help where they can discuss their own situation.</p>

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<p>USNA69, we are part of the KP family, you are not. KPMOM is on campus almost daily and has a better bead on things than you ever will. Her words, actions and caring are more valued than your opinions. She IS reaching out, you are grandstanding, showing an insatiable need to have the last word. Please stop making this forum about you and your need to pontificate.</p>

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<p>Yeah it is tough right now. I actually have agreed to stay for all 4 years. my parents really want me to and i plan on going active duty air force so this is the best way to do that. yeah its going to be a tough 4 years but i think i can handle it. Thanks for all the advice.</p>

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<p>OK, I want to make one point clear, and this will please USNA69, imagine that? Don't stay because your parents want you to, stay because it is what YOU want to do. There is no way quicker that I know of to make yourself miserable than to stay for someone else. Make sure this is what YOU want to do. It is your life, live it, no one else can do that for you. Reach out to those around you as they are to you and talk things over with them to make sure you are on the right path. USMMA can be a great place, but it can also be wrong for many folks. Make sure it's what you want to do, and don't do it just to please your parents. If YOU decide it's the right place, then go for it with all the gusto you can muster.</p>

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<p>I know not to just do it for my parents. I am thinking about my future and what is best for me. Leaving right now would be a mistake because i havent given it a fair chance. I am pretty sure this is where i want to be. I have all the oppurtunities in the world here. Its the right decision.</p>

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<p>That's great. As you go through the next few months, don't let things bottle up inside, you'll blow a gasket. Talk with someone who can help. Make sure to take advantage of the many outside activities to allow yourself to decompress. Focus on the academics first, they're tough and it's easy to fall behind since the schedule is so compressed. Your first year is learning how to manage time, something you just thought you already knew how to do.</p>

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<p>Hey Blus. I'm also a Plebe Candidate for class of 2012. I understand exactly what you're feeling. We all know it's tough. We all miss our familes, friends, and home. We all hate being a plebe. Some of us are already starting to hate classes <em>cough</em>. But you know what? All the upperclasmen got through with it, so why can't we do it? The reason we had indoc was to develop unique bonds in order to help each other make it through not only this year, but all 4. I also plan on going active duty, and although I am not sure what branch, I am very interested in Air Force. So anyway, if you really need help, just PM me and I'll do what I can for you</p>

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<p>BLUSMMA2012, take one day at a time. </p>

<p>cero, have a sharp stick handy to poke your eyes out to stay awake during the "History of 'Sleep' Power"! :D</p>

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<p>Oh man. I have a great teacher and all, but the upperclassmen were not kidding about the name "Sleep Power." Anyway, thanks for the advice. I might just have to have a stick in hand. ;)</p>

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<p>Forgive me for butting in and forgive me for posting this as it's by a West Point grad, about West Point - <em>horrors</em> ;)
Much of it applies and is universal across all Service Academies:

[quote]
TO: Any Plebe considering leaving West Point at this time
Consider carefully <em>why</em> you are leaving:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>Is it because you have seen the Army, some elements of its life and people, and decided that it is not the <em>life</em> you want?</p></li>
<li><p>Is it because you have seen the inside of West Point, the walls, the System, the "atmosphere," and decided that that is not the <em>college</em> you want?</p></li>
<li><p>Is it because you have seen the men and women who are the Upper Classes, and decided they are not the <em>associations</em> you want?</p></li>
<li><p>Is it because life is miserable, you are miserable, West Point is miserable, the people are miserable, the Yearlings (as apart from people) are miserable, the snow is miserable, the classes are miserable, reveille is miserable, marching is miserable, training is miserable, the sky is miserable.....?</p></li>
</ol>

<p>Been there.
Done that.
So has everyone else who has gone before you.</p>

<p>OK. Now listen up. You may quit for any of the reasons 1-3 if you have answered them honestly and dispassionately; if you have <em>really</em> looked at what you want in life,... and the Army, its school, and its people are not for you. Know that <em>most</em> people who finally leave West Point see these as good and valid reasons. They are. ... And no one will ever think any less of you if you decide to make a success in a different direction of life. That's part of growing up. Part of becoming an adult.</p>

<p>But Number 4 isn't a good reason. At least not an adult reason. At least not yet.</p>

<p>NO ONE has ever gone through West Point without serious thoughts of quitting. That's what the first year is for. If you WEREN'T thinking of resigning, the Academy has at least partially failed in testing your hopes, your dreams, your upbringing, ...you. You are in a dark fog now, a fog known by every other cadet--Plebe and upper-class alike, both present and prior classes, every graduate and non-graduate. It is after Christmas, Christmas Leave, and before Spring. It is Gloom Period.</p>

<p>Don't even think of a rational decision now. You're more than halfway to Recognition, to Yearling status, to having <em>Beat Them At Their Own Game.</em></p>

<p>What you're <em>not,</em> is finished with... - An academic year that you can transfer - Building the ability to hold your head up to say "I finished everything they could throw at me" - The test of your life to date</p>

<p>You STAY until the end of the year. You stay four months. You stay through Spring, and then May.
Then your options are anything you want. Do anything any earlier and you will always wonder "....What if?" And ask yourself, "If only...." And you will have wasted the most valuable year of your life. For you will have quit in the middle of the Lesson, ...the middle of finding out who you are.</p>

<p>What you should never NEVER do, however,...is stay for your family,...your Mother, Father, brothers, sisters,...uncles, grandparents, ...or anyone else who thinks they have the right to ask you to remain at West Point.</p>

<p>No one has that right. That right, that choice, that decision is yours alone.</p>

<p>West Point is only for those who live the life, walk the walk, dream the dream. And sometimes that takes time.</p>

<p>Take that time.
Never quit until you've beat the system.
Then your life's your own, and no one can ever take it from you.</p>

<p>Mike Havey`68

[/quote]
</p>

<p>Now, BLUSMMA2012 - I am not gonna pretent to know what is going on here but it sounds to me like you are miserable.
If you agree then go back and read point #4. ;)</p>

<p>Kids who say they want to quit are like mice - for every kid who actually verbalizes it there are 50 who think it.</p>

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<p>The first year is designed to form the Plebe into a leader. The attrition should be noteworthy, leadership is tough and not everyone is called to lead. Good leaders have been forged in some "hot" environment.</p>

<p>Doubts are good, they promote questions and resolve. Good luck to the Class of 2012. We need strong committed leaders for America.</p>

<p>A day at a time and you may be the one to lead</p>

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<p>Some good points and good advice coming from many of you. I hope more of the candidates read some of these things.</p>

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<p>Blusmma, i'd still like to talk with you if you're up for it.
:)</p>

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<p>Blusmma, I'd like to throw in my 2 cents from an upperclass to a freshman...</p>

<p>I agree with what most people have said in that it is likely too early for you to have a large enough perspective to make the best decision. I'd say stick it out for the year at least; but you've already heard that.</p>

<p>My real advice is to not be afraid to do what you want. It takes a ton of work to get into KP, but there is absolutely no shame in deciding that it isn't what you wanted or thought it would be. KP is a completely unique school that cannot be understood by anyone from the outside, including parents. You have to want to stay. I have thought about leaving multiple times and after thinking it through have decided that I was where I wanted to be after all. I have also had two friends leave to pursue active duty careers elsewhere, including one friend of mine who did exactly what you mentioned earlier and took an ROTC scholarship. I was sad to see them leave, but overall I was happy that they had decided what they wanted and made the right choice. The only thing that matters is that you want to be here. Once you are able to see what the Academy is really about (aka not being a plebe anymore), you should really think about it and decide what you want and whether KP fits in to what you want. Both of my friends waited until they had gone to sea to make their decisions, I believe that's giving it a fair shot. </p>

<p>Just remember that doing what you want to do is more important than staying in for your parents, staying to make all the work of getting in worth it, or anything else. Stick it out this year, but don't be afraid of taking another road.</p>