I’m a first year and I’m disappointed by my experience at Wellesley so far.
I think that it’s quite isolated (don’t get me wrong, it’s gorgeous, but there’s not much to do around here except go to Boston during the weekends), I haven’t met many friends here (only a few), and as much as I love having an all-women’s presence in classes that are challenging for me, I think the 3rd wave feminism can be frustrating to deal with and I feel like it’s more prevalent at places like Wellesley.
They emphasized ‘community’ during orientation week but I feel like people are apart cliques. Everyone is friendly but I haven’t found that niche.
Do I just feel this way because it’s the second week? Should I wait it out?
I truly hope and think things will get better as time goes on. That being said, our neighbor had the same feelings you are expressing about Wellesley. She kept “giving it a chance”, but in the end she transferred to our state flagship and seems much happier there. Best wishes to you and try to remember all the reasons you wanted to go there in the first place
Hi–It’s just been two weeks. You may find your niche there. But do keep transfer in mind as at least a psychological escape. See if you can mainly concentrate on your classes and give it a good chance. Usually the people that you find in your first week or so as friends will drift to find other friends, and so will you. You will find other people. Freshman can clump together because they are scared the first few weeks. You probably will find like-minded people that you can rely on over time. But keep transfer in mind just in case. Best of luck.
A lot of what you’re feeling is a normal part of the transition to college. I think our culture builds up college as this amazing, best-four-years-of-your-life experience that’s effortlessly wonderful, so it’s disappointing when that’s not automatically the case. Many, many freshmen feel the same way you do.
That said, I was a transfer student (into Wellesley from a state school), so I completely understand that sometimes transferring is the right decision. Here’s the advice I give to freshmen who want to transfer: Approach the rest of your first semester like you’re going to be at the school all four years. If you assume you’ll hate it and isolate yourself, wanting to transfer will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. So spend this semester trying your best to explore clubs, meet new people, and get involved in your classes. For many (most) freshmen, things improve as the semester goes on.
However, if you come back for the second semester and you still feel like Wellesley is inherently the wrong place for you, then it might be time to consider transferring. You need to make sure that the issue is with the school itself, though. If you’re feeling lonely at Wellesley, transferring won’t necessarily change that. In fact, it’s harder to make friends as a transfer student because you missed the time during freshmen year when the incoming students get familiar with one another.
One last piece of advice: You have to put yourself out there. Maybe you’re already doing that; if so, great. But if you’re not using this time to join activities that interest you, then you’re missing out. Wellesley has about a million organizations. Pick two or three and give them a shot. If they’re not for you, try something else. Either way, you have to seek out the college experience you want.
In general, EVERYTHING in life is bad at first…new job, new house, new spouse, new car, new city, etc. It’s apparently human nature to have expectations that are too high; we set ourselves up for disappointment. Over and over again. Take your finger away from the Panic Button. Give it some time.