I haven’t had contact with my father since I was about 12(now 18). He is in no way going to contribute to my financial situation at college. Our situation is a little funny because, well, he’s in the military and although we don’t receive a lick of child support from him, we(me and my siblings) have TriCare through his occupation.
What I’m a little confused about is, who would count as a credible third party to satisfy what these colleges ask for in the non-custodial parent waiver form? And I have no means of contacting him, could that hurt me? I’m a little frustrated because it would be an absolute injustice if my mother is penalized in her obligation to pay because of this. This not a case of “we have a very weak relationship and he doesn’t want to pay”-- no, this man literally is a nothing but a sperm donor to my family at this point in my life.
Umm, no he is not literally a sperm donor to your family. He is providing your health insurance because he provided the info to the military so that you are covered.
I agree that the whole thing about young adults not getting aid when parents won’t or can’t pay with the laws making it impossible to get aid because said parents are deemed to be in the financial situation to be able to pay is a huge injustice, but that is the way it works. There are intact familes where the parents refuse to give financial info to fill out the FAFSA, and who won’t or can’t pay what the calculators say they should be paying Lots of them. It’s a very unfair system, but that’s the way it works.
You ask your school counselor who is likely experienced in these waivers, or your minister.
@cptofthehouse I appreciate your advice but please do not try to define relationship I have with my biological father for me. That health insurance had to be wrenched out of him, nothing came out of his volition. Please don’t speak on what you don’t know.
Drblack…you will need to have a school counselor, clergyman, social worker, or some other third party person document your lack of ability to contact your father. The person needs to verify that you have no way to contact your father and that this has been a long term situation. This person cannot be a relative of yours.
To be honest, from what you have written here, it sounds like you do have a way of contacting your father to ask about the financial aid form completion.
Remember, it doesn’t matter if he wants to pay. It doesn’t matter if he says no to completing the forms. What matters is if you can contact him. And that sounds possible.
But contact your colleges. Ask what they need for a non-custodial parent waiver. Send them what they request. The schools will each determine whether you get a waiver…or not. And it is possible that some schools will grant a waiver and others will not.
@thumper1 so from what I can understand, a letter from a family friend will be insufficient? would a doctor work? because our doctor is aware of our situation.
A family friend would not work. Your doctor would be a good choice if he is able to document the situation.
ETA…I think a doctor would be a good choice…but ask the colleges. They will tell you what they want.
Seems to me that if he is active military, he can be located.
How does someone in the military get away with not paying CS??? Wouldn’t his wages be garnished???
The thing is, it was ABLE to be wrenched from him, which does not always happen. You need to fill out the waivers and each financial aid office will make the determination. Usually, the waivers go to those who have NO relationship =nothing for year. A pediatrician or family doctor is sometimes a person who can make the third party statement, but that the health insurance is in place makes that shaky. Many NCPs have to get ANYTHING wrenched from them so that’s nothing new or different at all and doesn’t usually hold water It’s when nothing can be wrenched from them or they cannot be found that a NCP is likely to be granted.
Your situation is actually not unusual at all, and I do know of what I “speak” in that regard. Do get the waivers procedrures for each school, but start looking for options affordable without them panning out, because, yes, you may not get the waivers and then not the aid from those school.
He is locatable, yes, with a TRicare number. An attorney or private detective would be able to find him quickly most likely. My brother, when he was a CO, ran into this a lot with his men, and it happens in private industry as well.
Why he was forced to include the children, who are then qualified “Dependents” on Tricare and got away without child support makes no sense, other than the ex, the mom just didn’t want to go through the fight. But he was likely located through Tricare once before since the kids are on it. He can be located again through it. The children are claiming that they are legal dependents and entitled to this benefit and the government is agreeing. The OP is now asking that they NOT be considered dependents of the same person so they can get money. They will then likely provide Tricare evidence if accepted to a school that requires proof of insurance to avoid paying school insurance.
@drblack: The people on this thread have been helping students with situations like yours for a long time. If I were you, I’d read through their advice carefully and follow it as much as you’re able.
I don’t understand, either, how you’re going to convince a college that your active military dad is unreachable. My brother is Air Force (retired), but when he was active (overseas) and our dad had a major heart attack our mom was able to get a message to him through a local Air Force office. If your mom has your dad’s social security number, I’m pretty sure the military could find him if they wanted.
I don’t know if you can claim that your dad doesn’t provide any support when your medical is through him. He may not have provided that willingly, but it’s there because of him. I also wonder how colleges will interpret the lack of child support. Didn’t whoever went after your dad for medical benefits also ask for child support? If not, do you know why? If I needed money to support my kids and I could locate my ex, I’d do everything within my power to get him to pay. If your mom did that and was unsuccessful, maybe those documents would help your case.
I agree that it’s a tough situation, but most colleges don’t have the money to cover the costs for every kid whose parent(s) don’t want to pay. Fill out the paperwork anyway, but make sure you have some affordable safeties just in case.
For what it’s worth, I feel that the whole financial aid situation is unfair to young adults whose access to aid and college hinges so strongly on what their parents will provide. Parents refusing to fill out the FAFSA or sign anything, getting aid is nigh impossible and only loans anyways. Happens all the time. Parent have the money according to the formulas but won’t or have reason so they can’t make those payments, so sorry, but no aid. I wish a case would come up to challenge the system.
So much depends upon what parents you happen to have and how much they are willing to do. Serious disadvantage to have parents who won’t or can’t. That it extends even after reaching adulthood is outrageous IMO.
I’m just telling you, OP, the way the whole thing is likely to be perceived in the system as it now stands, not my opinions about it.
If you receive TriCare, then he has acknowledged he is your father and he is providing some kind of support through the health insurance.
I would guess that he doesn’t pay Child Support as such because your mother never filed a lawsuit seeking support. If no Child Support Order was ever sought or entered, then no one has done anything illegal. You do NOT get out of paying CS, if ordered, on active duty.
You might want to ask your mother about that decision. She might have made some agreement with your father at the time.
In any event, if he is on active duty then he can be located and contacted, and if he is providing insurance, he definitely has a connection to you.
If you have had no contact with your father since you were a pre-teen, now might be a good time to contact him and tell him who you grew up to be, establish a relationship with him. You probably don’t really know his side of the story of why he hasn’t had contact with you, and you might not want to. But it is unlikely to make things worse to at least open the lines of communication and try to establish a relationship again now as an adult. Worst case, he refuses contact; best case, he might be thrilled that his child is starting college.
FAFSA won’t ask about your father or his income, because he is not present in the household. But if you apply to any private schools that require his CSS NCP Profile information, you can’t really claim that he is on active duty and provides your health insurance, but you have NO way to contact him. That’s just false.
I didn’t need all this advice concerning the nature of his abscense… and I apologize if my original post presented it that way. I just needed to know who would count as a credible source of a “third party letter”. Thanks to those who actually answered my question… I’m grtting the sense it needs to be someone who there is a professional relationship established.
Look at the NCP waiver form for each school for that info. Each school is different. NEU’s didn’t ask for a third party at all, for example, but some do and they generally say who qualifies.
Yes, as you’ve been told, each school has different requirements. A third party commentary when needed can come from your school guidance counselor who is likely familiar with these things. Many kids are in your situation and apply for such waivers.
The point is that, with the facts you present, many of us think you are unlikely to get a waiver. Go ahead and apply, but be prepared for schools to tell you that the poor relationship does not excuse your Dad from providing his information. What do you do next if a school does not grant a waiver?