<p>Hi,
I have been through much pain that I won't get into, and am still enduring a lot. I see now that the only chance of me continuing is to transfer to Texas or some other distant school so that I will no longer endure this pain (that I won't go into). </p>
<p>I got accepted into 1 petroleum engineering school already and I could transfer and take a plane ticket tommorow down there if I want to. But I have other plans.... These plans scare me, and thats why I might be willing to try this one last thing, transfering to an away college so I'm away from my "problems".</p>
<p>Theres one thing I'm worried about and is the reason for this post. For jobs and internships for engineerings, are refrences normally required? Personal refrences? I wouldn't worry about having to get a professor or two and using them as "non-personal" refrences to get an internship and then a job later on, but do most engineering jobs require personal refrences? Do any jobs require no refrences? like if you have really high grades.</p>
<p>I ask this because I've been through a lot and just need some time to think, its probably not safe if I keep being alone but I don't want to be forced to make friends between now and next summer (which is when I'll be able to get an internship) while I'm so extremely depressed. Do I need to make friends to be able to have personal refrences to get an internship and then later a job? How close to a professor do you have to be to ask them to yse them as a nonpersonal refrence? </p>
<p>My dad just died a few months ago, I took care of him most of the time and didn't have the time or the happiness to go out and make friends, this was my freshmen year and I just skipped orientation and everything, and avoided every possible social event because I'm so depressed.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through these problems…but I’m sure you will overcome all your difficulties! </p>
<p>I don’t think many jobs need personal references, so you’re totally ok.
I’d recommend talking to a therapist by the way, maybe they can help you work out your problems. Just don’t keep it to yourself! If you want anymore advice send me a PM and i’ll be happy to listen to your problems and help you in any way I can.</p>
<p>hang in there and get some help. You have been, and are going though a tough time. You are sad a nd grieving and need support. You will not always feel this way, better days ahead.</p>
<p>Professors are actually better references than friends are. Employers want to know how competent you are, they aren’t interested in your personal relationship problems.</p>
<p>If you are in petroleum engineering, you have a bright future ahead of you, and have a lot to look forward to. Look to your family for support, they want you to succeed in life and will help you get there. And don’t worry about making friends if you transfer to a new college, there will be plenty of other people in the same boat.</p>
<p>I’m on my 3rd internship and I’ve never heard of anyone asking for personal references. Some places will accept references if you offer but nobody has asked me yet. I had 9 interviews last year and nobody requested a reference. Even I was surprised by this. </p>
<p>I went to a Prof’s office hours a few times during the term and asked him if it was okay for him to give me a reference and he agreed. However, i didn’t need it after all. </p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about your problems, i’m sure you’ll make it through.</p>
<p>Thanks for responding so quickly. I’m transfering away because I have a lot of family problems, (I live at home) also my dad had a rare brain disease, and our house has completely been made handicap accessible and although most of the stuff is gone, the house still has “scars” and I can’t continue like this, I’m desperately trying to make any changes I think will make me feel better.</p>
<p>I know transfering is better then my other option, so I’m going to give this one last thing a try, I just wanted to make sure theres a reasonable chance it could work out. So I definatley don’t need personal refrences? What about for a job? I want to go overseas even mabye work in the middle-east will international corporations be more likeley to require refrences? </p>
<p>I read that most companies require three personal and three professional business refrences, would that be more applicable to another profession other then engineering?</p>
<p>Usually companies haven’t required personal references from me at all. If you have three or four professional references from professors or mentors, then you’re probably good to go.</p>
<p>Please, please, please go get help. There are tons of resources out there, and if you’re having suicidal ideation, you need to call someone ASAP-- 1-800-273-TALK. This needs to be your first priority, before transferring, before looking for a job, before doing ANYTHING else.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you, and let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.</p>
<p>Thanks again, I feel a mild glimor of hope, mabye things will start to feel better when I’m in a less stressful living area. I can’t tell anyone I’m suicidal, I was even reluctant to type it on this forum (using a fictious name), I know if I told a doctor or anyone in-person they would try to get me institutionalized or whatever they do with really suicidal people. I’m just so damn tired.</p>
<p>vblick, there is a time and a place for correcting someone’s spelling. When you’re proofreading someone’s resume just before they send it out, that’s a good time and a place. When you’re on an open internet forum and the person whose spelling you’re correcting is admitting to suicidal ideation and asking for help, then you can probably just presume that in a critical situation, spellcheck will pick it up for them, and you can let it go.</p>
<p>Please talk to a therapist or other professional. Just because you’ve considered suicide doesn’t mean that they will institutionalize you. I’ve gone to therapists when I’ve been suicidal, and I was given therapy, not hospitalization. Hospitalization is only forced on people who are believed to be an immediate danger to themselves or others.</p>
<p>Therapy was helpful to me as was medication (Many people do not need medication, but I had had a history of bouts with depression, and finally accepted meds, which changed my life for the better).</p>
<p>What you tell therapists and doctors is confidential unless you are doing or saying things indicating that you have present plans to harm yourself or others.</p>
<p>While changing locations may help separate you from surroundings that evoke painful memories, changing locations would bring the challenges of learning to cope with a new situation, something that can be very difficult when you’re depressed. Consequently, to be most capable of handling things – whether you stay or move – get professional help now.</p>
<p>Another option might be a grief counseling program. Many cities have these, and their costs are free or low cost. Google to see if there’s one in your area. Many people who’ve lost loved ones have felt the kind of despair you’re feeling, and have gotten help that has made them know that life is worth living.</p>
<p>i’m sure there are other forums for help on these issues. like one parent said, you need professional help, posting this on a college forum will do no good. </p>
<p>edit: yeah im stayin’ outta this; i don’t want to see anyone kill themselves. remember suicide is for cowards.</p>
<p>bcarvings: I’m a parent. Northstarmom was right. You need to get away from these childish posters and post in the Parents Forum. You also need to get to a therapist. You will not be institutionalized; you will be helped.</p>
<p>I agree that the OP should seek help, but I think that the OP has the right to know a few things that haven’t been mentioned so far:</p>
<p>If the psychologist thinks you are suicidal, you will be hospitalized. It doesn’t matter if you are not really suicidal; if the psychologist thinks you are (the psychologist is free to think whatever he wants), he will call the cops and you will be escorted to the nearest psychiatric hospital. Beware, being sent to a psychiatric hospital can be a very traumatic experience for a lot of people. So, unless you are serious about suicide, I suggest you be careful on how you convey your concerns to your psychologist.</p>
<p>pmvd - What are have said is what I previously read and is what is logical and reasonable. If someone came to me and I suspected they were going to kill themselves I would do the same thing, and doctors I beleived are required by law to have the person hospitalized. I’m making a few changes to my life that I beleive will decrease my stress and increase my coping factors so I could better deal with my pain. And my a lot of problems I seem to be having problems with my mom said are normal after she went to greif counseling with a pastor, and I have seen a therapist today and I told her I was suicidal but would never act, and once she made sure I was ok, she actually told me for someone whose been through what I have its actually normal to have suicidal feelings. I was kinda shocked to hear that, just because I feel like if anyone were in my shoes they would probably feel the same.</p>
<p>I remember slapping my dads face when he would become unconscios from a fall or seizure, and just a half hour ago, I couldn’t wake up my mom. She is taking a new prescription drug ambien CR, and I had to shake her for 10 seconds while yelling at her to wake her up. This is the first night she said is taking this medication. I will keep checking on her and mabye call 911 if she cannot be awakened. I read that this drug can induce a coma, so I’m kinda stressing out now.</p>
<p>You CAN be hospitalized if you are deemed to be a danger to yourself or others, but you WILL be free to check out in most states, Pennsylvania included, AMA, unless there is a court order to involuntarily commit you. They can, however, put you on a 24-hour hold to keep you there and keep an eye on you for a day to help see you through the rough patch, but this is the most that they can keep you.</p>
<p>If you say that you’ve had suicidal ideation recently but that you’re not actively trying to kill yourself right now, then it is VERY unlikely that they will be able to put you <em>anywhere</em> against your will.</p>
<p>I’m glad that you’ve gotten help. Please continue to see your therapist-- she’s right; anyone who’s normal WOULD feel depressed and likely suicidal if they’d gone through the traumatic deterioration of a loved one. You’re not any more nuts than the rest of us.</p>
<p>PS - It’s very, very rare that people fatally overdose on Ambien CR. Keep an eye on your mom for the evening, make sure that she’s still breathing if you want to, but it could just be that your mom is very tired… it’s pretty early in the evening so the medicine has probably just kicked in, she’s probably exhausted and sleep-deprived if she’s on Ambien in the first place, and the Ambien’s probably making it difficult for her to wake up. Let her sleep, bring up your concerns in the morning, but let the Ambien do its job. She’s whupped… So are you. You get some sleep, too!</p>
<p>“She is taking a new prescription drug ambien CR, and I had to shake her for 10 seconds while yelling at her to wake her up. This is the first night she said is taking this medication. I will keep checking on her and mabye call 911 if she cannot be awakened. I read that this drug can induce a coma, so I’m kinda stressing out now.”</p>
<p>Call her doctor now to find out if she is in danger or if what she’s experiencing is normal.</p>