<p>I'm in my fourth semester at a large state university, a couple states away from where I live. Every day here is a constant struggle.
Sometimes I feel like killing myself, other times I feel like jumping on a plane to see my family(whom I really miss, although I dont tell them). The only reason I stay and not transfer, I guess, is that the school I'm at is really good for my major. I'm currently taking 20 credits, but I'm beginning to realize that I'm doing it just to smother myself in books, and have an excuse not to go out. </p>
<p>I've had trouble for years now making friends, or more basically, starting conversations. I try joining clubs, but everyone seems to know everyone else and I feel left out. I've though about a frat(I'm a guy obviously), but I'm very very shy to begin with. I'm currently in counseling at my school, but I feel like its going nowhere. I still do not have a single friend at this school. Even my roommate and I barely talk(usually once/twice a week)...I'm halfway in tears writing this question.</p>
<p>What do you suggest I do for myself? and please take this post seriously - no jokes
thank you</p>
<p>I've posted this in another forum section for different opinions</p>
<p>First things First, stop considering suicide right this instant. Take a deep breath and relax. Its time to assess your situation because obviously it's gotten to a sour point. </p>
<p>Step 1
Ask yourself, if there was one place I'd rather be right this instant, where would it be? </p>
<p>Step 2
After answering this question, go there. Yes its that simple get the hell out of where you are and run to the place you'd rather be.</p>
<p>Consider this, what's the point of staying in a school based on the excellence of the major you are interested in if you are considering taking your life? The answer is there is no point. Life is so beautiful when we do the things that make us happy. NO COLLEGE OR MAJOR IS WORTH SACRIFICING YOUR HAPPINESS AND PEACE OF MIND. </p>
<p>There really is no option, if you can't see your way out of the situation your in (since the counseling is failing) walk away with your life. </p>
<p>I'm here for you (message me anytime) and I'm sure you have family and friends who will support you in this decision.</p>
<p>Well, I feel your pain.
One thing I can suggest you is to change your look. It is wrong to judge a person by the outer appearance, but it is inevitable. People do judge a person by the look, outfit, people one hangs out with etc. It is important to have a good first impression. I've found that when I look good, I feel good too, and when I have sweatshirt on, I feel less confident meeting people.</p>
<p>Next thing you do is to improve your attitude. Try to laugh and smile even though you are not happy. Fake smile and laugh can arouse endorphin.</p>
<p>Last thing I suggest is to meet a counselor and get a medical attention. Prozac and Zoloft are the popular medicine these days.</p>
<p>I've had a thought of suicide for a long time and pondered over the definition of the truth, happiness, suffering, and life general. We are social animals. We can't live without each other and social interaction. </p>
<p>Have you tried anti-depressants? I was against them until my parents forced me, and now I'm A LOT happier. I have more self-confidance, more motivation, and I'm rarely down on myself.</p>
<p>Life is tough, but you don't have to suffer through it.</p>
<p>xxmagicboxersxx- I'm not the OP, but I was on anti-depressants for 3.5 years. They definitely helped me a LOT. I was extremely depressed, and I know the anti-depressants helped me. </p>
<p>However, they're NOT for everyone. </p>
<p>OP, you should go see a counselor. Please. He or she may (or may not) direct you to go to a psychiatrist. A psychiatrist is the one that would prescribe an anti-depressant (but remember these are NOT FOR EVERYONE, and there are multiple anti-depressants out there, so just because one doesn't work, doesn't mean the next one won't).</p>
<p>I don't know exactly what you've gone through, but I've been through a lot. Depression is really hard to go through, and I know what it's like to have trouble making friends and feeling lonely. OP, you are NOT ALONE in what you feel, and things can definitely get better.</p>
<p>Molliegym is right. They're not for everybody. Check your family history. Is your mom or dad on anti-depressants? If they work for a parent, there's a good chance that same kind will work for you.</p>
<p>However, don't JUST use anti-depressants. See a therapist. Therapy and AD's work great together. It really helps.</p>
<p>Also try and excersize more, if you don't already. It will definitely help.</p>
<p>I posted a long response in the parent section, but it's mostly about the logistics of improving one's people skills and building the kind of life one wants.</p>
<p>Jake, a large state university can be overwhelming socially. Making friends in that environment can be a challenge, especially for someone who is shy. Know that you are not alone in what you are feeling. All you have to do to prove this is to google "friends" or "lonely" on CC. You will also find a lot of good advice on this topic in the relevant posts.</p>
<p>Just because you are depressed does not mean you need antidepressants. Only a professional can make that diagnosis. Have you been open with whomever is counseling you at your school?</p>
<p>The fact that you posted on CC indicates that you might be at a turning point. Your realization that you are taking so many credits in order to have an excuse not to go out is also a good sign. Can you drop a course now? It would be great if you could free up some of your time. If you can, then force yourself to join a club or two, and then force yourself to go to it several times. Give yourself and others a chance to become friends. Friendship can take time.</p>
<p>Finally, talk to your parents about what you are going through. I am a parent, and I would definitely want my child to be honest with me about how things are going. Don't be afraid to use your parents for emotional support by phone calls, etc. Your parents are the people with whom you don't always need to act strong.</p>
<p>A little Advice
First of all..thank you for the stories..it made me want to post mine</p>
<p>so i dont know what to do anymore..and im looking for a little bit of advice...</p>
<p>I graduated H.S in 07 and went straight to Truman State in the fall. It was amazing at first..but secretly i began to hate it...i hated my teachers...i hated my roommate..and i hated the town. I suffer from chronic depression so my studies started to drop. I went to the counseling services and it helped a little..but i kept slipping deeper. i didnt go to class and i failed everything. I developed an eating disorder and decided before midterms to transfer back home to seek medical attention.</p>
<p>At home i felt like i was complete failure because i couldnt tough it out. but i desperately wanted to get back to school. So i decided to go to culinary school...in the spring of 08..a repeat of what happened at Truman..kicked in again..and i withdrew.</p>
<p>In the summer of 08..after seeking treatment i felt i was ready to go back to Truman..because i knew if i went back i would get a good degree..and have a better chance at life. So i went to cc to take a summer course and i passed with a B.</p>
<p>In the fall semester of 08..i went back to Truman and was excited to get started in school again..with a fresh new start. But as soon as school started..i started to slip again. I had a another depression spell..and started to slip again. I finally made teh decision to come back home for good and not return to Truman state at spring semester because i realized i had to went to that school for the wrong reasons..mainly cause it was cheap and my mom was proud i went to a good school</p>
<p>So as a result...i failed all of my classes in the fall semester..which was expected because if u dont go to class..how can u pass.</p>
<p>So as of this moment..i am going to cc to get my gens done and transfer to UMSL for theater and english education. I decided to pursue theater education or something that i love because i was going to college for something i didnt want to do..and to get help mentally....im scared that i made the choice because im afraid to do something that i love for that i wont succeed or make any money. Over the past 3 years i have transferred from college to home to seek help for my depression....i regret alot of things...i almost stayed away from home..because i thought happiness didnt matter..and i was just gonna stick it out..but my depression was too much for me. I want to feel i did the right thing..but im constantly feeling guilty...i just hate how ive let my time in college slip by..i just want to be successful..and im scared i wont make it. I should be a junior in the fall of 09..but im still a freshman credit wise..and its killing me..it makes me feel like a disappointment</p>
<p>im just kinda lost..and just expressing it..helps me clear my thoughts a bit</p>