This is my Essay to Harvard

Colleges and Universities A-Z Harvard University
21

<p>Nah... Trolls never do that. If he was really serious he would be working hard to work with the criticism. And to be honest I don't think anyone who is thinking about applying H EA would send out that essay - at least not without consulting many, many people to alter it drastically. The OP said he already sent it out. Anyway, people are so paranoid about their actual application that they hardly ever post actual tracable application stuff on the net (It's stupid, I know, but people don't want to take any chances)</p>

<p>I would be very, very suprised if this wasn't satire of a very tedious nature.</p>

22

<p>Sounds a little pretentious.. like a sermon, rather than a personal statement.</p>

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<p>I'm starting to think he's joking, too...thank god</p>

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<p>i think he is kidding too now...</p>

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<p>I was not at the least hooked in; I thought it was a boring read. It was too wordy and the points did not come across clearly.</p>

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<p>incidentally, some of the corrections made to this guy's essay had grammatical errors too. i wish i knew how to quote, so i could point them out. oh well. </p>

<p>anyways... i think the essay is wordy and somewhat hackneyed. everyone knows racism isn't a good thing... it doesn't really need to be repeated in three or four paragraphs. if your whole essay is about racism, only a short paragraph on something like this is necessary, if necessary at all. </p>

<p>perhaps you should think about taking this part out in its entirety and just focusing on your experience with racism.</p>

27

<p>oh man guys...this kids name is NICK ZHAO....sounds more asian than black, not to be stereotypical..so i do not see how he could have a personal experience with racism ahahahahahah</p>

28

<p>Wow Nicky Zhouy,</p>

<p>I can refute that whole essay in an instant, lol (In addition to being mediocre)</p>

29

<p>Even if this essay was a joke, I'm surprised that he actually took some time to contrive such _________.</p>

30

<p>sorry but that essay ain't gonna get you in. I'm not saying that racism is not important or something, but that's a really unoriginal topic and not an individual one at all. It doesn't say anything about you (except that you're not a racist..duh...) and it's not even specific. So you didn't prove anything.</p>

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<p>well he didnt post the really important part of his essay, the personal stuff...so i guess theres a chance things are justified there</p>

32

<p>It's boring and poorly written....but I hope you still get in :).</p>

33

<p>Its Dreadful, cheesy, and way too dramatic. They will laugh when they read it. Sorry pal,I hear Florida St. is looking for qualified applicants though. You might have a shot.</p>

34

<p>hmmmmmmmmmmmmm yes. if you were a qualified applicant--this would backfire all your hardwork in highschool.</p>

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<p>isn't it clear? if he wasn't kidding, he would probably respond to your critisism by defending himself or likewise, but as you can notice there's no more messages form NickZhao</p>

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<p>I thought this stupid thread was dead.... Everyone - ITS A JOKE ESSAY - yes, it is horrible... please stop posting and let it die a short yet painful death.</p>

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<p>it doesnt seem bad enough to be a joke</p>

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<p>He's not joking, I am pretty sure about it.</p>

39

<p>I'm pretty sure I've seen this essay before. Unless Nick Zhao has posted it somewhere else before, I think it's a joke.</p>

40

<p>Pretty bad essay.</p>

<p>You justify racism on the basis that it has no inherent benefit. Self-actualization of the racist is the benefit, and the whole premise of your essay is destroyed by a basic human instinct. The racist is racist because he wants to feel superior to other races. That is his only motivation.</p>

<p>Your writing is a bit awkward. You actually said 'wolfs', and it seems like you tried very hard to make yourself look intelligent and innovating. This is NOT a good idea. Write naturally, and let the words flow. I like to sit down, and type a long garble, then cut it down, because I know that the original intent is still conveyed if I spend less time picking and choosing big words.</p>

<p>Also, your screenname is Nick Zhao. I'll take a big guess and say you have at least one Chinese parent. I doubt there's any experience you've had, as a seventeen-year-old student, that can justified such a heated denouncement of racism. The Adcoms will probably see it as pretention and think that you're a whiny brat that couldn't handle it when someone called him "Chink" (I don't mean this in a derogatory way, just making my point).</p>

<p>And if you're joking, ignore this, and stop trolling.</p>