Emotional affair sounds a little more than I remember but yes I think he befriended someone from work or the gym over gym/health.
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That is a good read! Most interesting thing I noticed was that Jack was born in 1944 so was 53 when he died in the fire. I think he looked much younger. And Rebecca definitely looks about 40 during her dating years even though her character is older.
My hesitation to be fully Team Toby was his evasiveness over the LA job. The episode certainly made it seem as if it offered a livable salary. In a healthy marriage, they would have discussed it and together decide the best course of action. He owed it to Kate to have that discussion.
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They are not going to show that discussion for 2 reasons. The salary is one that 99% of viewers cannot comprehend and which will be anachronistic when the episode is viewed in 20 years.
But it would have made sense for TV for Toby to say it is X% less. Assuming he currently gets a travel and/or housing allowance, which an LA job obviously would not have, it likely would not make sense to change jobs for a far lower salary.
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Dh and I have continued to talk about this episode.
With a weekās time, my opinion still hasnāt changed. I think the writers did a great job of trying to make each of them culpable, and Toby not sharing the job offer with Kate absolutely was wrong, but, for me, Kateās inability to embrace Tobyās changes is the key issue.
I feel like this is applicable to a lot of things. When one person makes a change in a dynamic, everyone is forced to reckon with the change, whether they want to or not. Thatās one reason people donāt make change, having to deal with the possible blowback. The reason I said last Tuesday that I am #teamToby is because, to me, it takes lots of courage to make the changes heās made, knowing that itās a flashpoint for Kate. All his work will feel like a judgment of her ā Iām doing this; why canāt you? ā even if he doesnāt feel like that at all.
Iām not surprised that he kept some things hidden on this issue. He didnāt want to hurt her and likely feared that talking about what heās doing might seem to her like an indictment.
Weight is a great way to illustrate this dynamic. But think about all the other cycles people try to break and those in their lives who donāt want them to change. Could be drug use or physical violence. I rewatched CODA last night, and I thought of this thread and what I wanted to say on it. The hearing daughter wants her own life, and her parents are resistant to change. Itās brave of her to say that all the pressure they put on her is exhausting, just like I think it was brave of Toby to say I had a heart attack and was depressed and morbidly obese and I have to make changes for myself if I want to be around for my wife and kid. I choose a better, healthier me.
Looking forward to Randallās story tonight.
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Ugh, the Randall episodes always get me in the gut because I am so invested in his family!!! Iām eager, anxious and apprehensive about what I might see!!!
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I have a Randall so this episode kind of wrecked me, as I knew it would.
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I thought tonight was the least frustrating Randall-focused episode possible. Whew.
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I liked this episode. Really sweet to see Rebecca and Randall bond like that. 
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Through the seasons, Memphis has continued to be my favorite episode. I thought this episode was a nice bookend to that one as we have now seen the Randall bond with both William and Rebecca.
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Thought the pool scenes did a good job of showing Randall feeling a bit of an outsider and then bringing the family together. He did the same talking to the policeman for the teens. His buying Rebecca the cookies was such a nice gesture.
I thought it was true to character that he would be unhappy about not being chosen as the health proxy. And thought that Rebeccaās explanation was very caring and throughtful.
Anyone notice the smile and look Kevin gave Madison when he brought back the kids??
While I know the dementia can come and go, Rebecca seemed remarkably together during her road trip, even at night.
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I was so worried the cooker would not arrive in time for the anniversary party. 
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Yes, I think they should have Rebecca showing more signs of problems by this point. My friend is worse every time I see her, every few months.
Interesting to see how teen Randall had everything together and Kevin and Kate didnāt. Like a lot of teens. Fast forward to the present and Randall still has it figured out, has ambitions, etc. Even the problem with his teen daughter (also very common) was resolved very quickly and neatly. Kate and Kevin are still figuring it out. Not that unusual on either side.
And Randall definitely seemed to feel like an outsider at the pool on the first day of summer. Though he also seemed a little superhero with an āI got youā attitude.
Knowing the smoker blows up at the anniversary party and with it Kate/Toby marriage, didnāt seem like a high chance it wouldnāt arrive in time. LOL
Trip with Rebecca did remind me of Randallās trip with William. Both were fun to watch. I expect that many people have fond memories of some type of trip/event like that with a parent.
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I did a four-hour webinar on dementia. One thing they talked about is progression. The sooner you get it, the more rapid your decline. Rebecca doesnāt have early-onset dementia so her decline wouldnāt be as rapid. Also, much of her conversation was about Randall when he was younger. Those memories have been imprinted on her brain longer so she will retain those for longer.
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My dad has dementia. He still has vivid and detailed memories of things that happened in the distant past. But will ask you the same question 5 times in a 3 minute conversation. Requires patience. I have read that true personalities often come out with dementia. Like the filters that were in place are removed. Thankfully for my dad, he is one of the nicest and sweetest people you could ever meet. My mom would not have been fun without a filter (could be a challenge with one) but she passed while her memory was still totally sharp.
Yes, I guess I would just expect her to ask more questions about things that just happened. Thatās one of the earliest things I noticed in my friend. And Rebecca did get lost that time.
Yes. I have a friend who is a therapist, and she likened it to a file cabinet. When you get a new memory itās like putting a file in the front of the drawer. You lose your memories in reverse order ā the new stuff is the first to go, and the old stuff is there for good.
The week before my dad died, we took him on a trip to his hometown. On the three-hour drive, he showed an amazing level of clarity. At one spot, he told my brother to slow down because we were coming up on the curve where some guy Iād never heard of died when he took it too fast. This from a man who had forgotten so much. The brain is fascinating.
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I donāt seem to be good at the details of the previews but do we know that the cooker itself explodes ? Or did grown up Jack say that he remembers the cooker because of the day his parentās marriage imploded and he got injured? The preview scene of little Jack walking with his cane on the sidewalk alone (Iām guessing singing that song Kate taught him about how to get to the park) makes me think he gets hit by a car? attacked by a dog? or something that causes injuries and becomes the final straw of the marriage. My guess is Toby is cooking holding Jack (as we see), he gets a work phone call and puts Jack down to take it. Jack wanders off. Disaster. Kate canāt forgive Toby.
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