<p>Our daughter has signed up to participate in rush, which is after the holiday break. She feels it is pretty low key. She's met some girls from various sororities and likes them all. But, she is also involved in a few organizations on campus that take up a lot of time (not to mention studying :) Any input on greek life at UR? I know they don't have houses and she does not believe they live on floors and that it stays pretty diverse....which is so different from my experience (big southern school, houses, etc). Would love any thoughts....</p>
<p>My wife was in one and her personal experience wasn’t the best, but she’s not really a “sorority girl.” She joined with a few of her friends freshman year and had a good time with it until sophomore year. The rush process involves the girls discussing prospectives’ pros and cons and when a group of girls gets together to talk about other girls, you know how it can turn. She didn’t care for some girls not being allowed because they weren’t pretty enough or other girls not wanting girls to join because a prospective was dating an ex. She and I went to a social when she wasn’t feeling well, and she threw up at the event (hadn’t been drinking nearly enough to make her get sick). They fined her and put her on probation. Her and her two best girl friends soured on it real quick because of garbage like that. Some girls certainly take it more seriously than others, but without housing on campus, it’s nothing more than a T-shirt club that puts on a social every other month or so. My wife was hosting an event for an organization she volunteers with about a month ago and a woman who is the alumni advisor for the sorority was there. After a few drinks, she started sharing stories about girls in the sorority (and told a story about my wife). </p>
<p>This is just one story. I have a lot of friends who really enjoyed their memberships but even for them it wasn’t much more than a T-shirt club. One nice thing though is that there’s a sorority for pretty much anyone. For a few, you have to fit a certain look and for others, they’ll take pretty much anyone, so there’s something for everyone who wants to be a part of it.</p>
<p>Currently being in a sorority at UR, I have some serious problems with the above post. WARNING: this is going to be really long.</p>
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<p>I’m not sure which sorority your wife was in, but how else would a sorority select members besides discussing their pros and cons? It’s just part of the process, good or bad, and obviously a girl is aware that when she’s rushing, people are going to be talking about whether they like her or not. That’s how you either get into the sorority or you don’t. It’s not like it’s cutthroat or anything.</p>
<p>I know I personally wouldn’t want to be in a sorority that would cut a girl because she wasn’t pretty, and my sorority would never do that unless they also had an issue with her personality - and I am not in a low-ranked sorority, either.</p>
<p>In regards to other girls not wanting someone to join because she’s dating an ex… well gee, think about it… would YOU want to call someone your sister if she was dating your ex?! The situations vary differently here, as there are good breakups and bad, but if something ends messily, and the girl treats the situation with a lack of respect, or the the girl started dating the ex WHILE the sorority sister was still with him, etc. Obviously this shows a lack of morals, but someone simply dating an ex with no other dramatic aura surrounding it, does NOT warrant for them to be cut - again, at least not in my sorority. One bitter girl does not have enough say to make that happen.</p>
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<p>I honestly am shocked you are ignorant enough about Greek life policies that you would post this here, or not understand it at the time. This situation is not one that can be debated about, and has nothing to do with anything but pure policy. When a sorority rents out a venue for a social, they make a deposit that they lose if someone vomits at the venue. Period. Doesn’t matter if they’re drunk, sick, whatever. If vomiting happens, it’s considered property damage and the deposit is lost. The management isn’t going to care if someone says to them “Oh, but she wasn’t drunk, she was just sick…” sounds believable right? Therefore, it becomes that girl’s responsibility to pay back that deposit, something that is stated in the social contract that all members must sign, which is why you do NOT get drunk to the point of throwing up at a social, and quite frankly, should not go to if you aren’t feeling well, either.</p>
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<p>HAHAHA. Is this a joke? This honestly is a disrespectful remark and offends me. My organization is known as one of the most socially diverse group of girls on campus and we definitely did not achieve that status by just “taking pretty much anyone”. There is a difference between </p>
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<li>Looking for girls that are of a certain appearance and background and fit into a status quo (which the top-tier sororities certainly do in their selection process, like you mentioned in the first portion of your quote)</li>
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<p>AND</p>
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<li>Looking past a girl’s appearance and considering her personality/values/etc. to determine whether or not she would be a good fit in the sorority or not, and not hesitating to cut someone that obviously would not fit in - the point of being in a sorority is to find a group of girls you can bond with, and obviously if someone’s personality/values doesn’t mesh with the group, they would not get the most out of their time there. This is the process that my sorority undergoes, and the fact that we aren’t among the top couple “superficial” sororities certainly does NOT mean that we “accept just anyone”.</li>
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<p>The reason I am so agitated by the above post is because my experience with Greek life at UR has been extremely valuable for me. I have made some of my best friends, including my roommate, through my sorority and have close friend groups both in my sorority and outside of it. It has given me a sense of inclusion on this campus and I have never felt intimidated by or put down by my sorority sisters. It isn’t too much of a time commitment with my other extracurricular activities, and it’s something I would never give up for the world. I just urge your daughter to focus on finding a group of girls that she feels are a right fit for her, and to keep in mind that the “top” couple of sororities do come with that extra burden of superficiality.</p>
<p>No offense to you, Spiders05, I just felt your post was slightly misleading.</p>
<p>kellie, no hard feelings taken and knew the story was purely anecdotal, which is why I wrote the second paragraph. </p>
<p>Just to make sure you understand where I’m coming from, most on campus just a couple of years ago (since I’m not a current student it’s entirely possible that things changed), felt there were essentially three tiers of the main sororities. There were three “top” (your words), two “middle” (building off your designation as “top”), and one bottom. This isn’t to say one is better than the other (as I happen to think as far as a sisterhood is concerned that some are far better than others, and not all the “top” ones are the best for sisterhood).</p>