<p>On the parental meltdown note: Perhaps I’ll move myself in! My parents helped me carry by bags up to my room when I had to stay for orientation and they got into an argument in the hallway about which direction the ID card office was, and whether or not my dad was an idiot. My sister’s boyfriend is coming so we can use his truck and I’m sure I can find someone to carry my fridge for me, so they can stay home. XD</p>
<p>To dads: Eat at regular times and do not get hungry and grouchy.</p>
<pre><code> For fathers of sons: Do not get grouchy if the kid doesn’t schlep as much as you think he should. He can’t concentrate the first time he moves into college.
For fathers of daughters: Do not act like she doesn't understand internet hook-ups or can't carry something heavy.
</code></pre>
<p>I second mythmom’s suggestions. [Hi!] </p>
<p>I’d like to add one thing, especially for the shall we say --less than “young” dads. Don’t completly change your daily schedule if you are going to be away doing the move-in. </p>
<p>If you go to the gym most mornings, find a local one that will allow you to pay by the day. Move-in was 8:30. I found a gym that was open very early in the A.M. and went and did my normal routine. </p>
<p>I suggest that a dad admit to himself that the move-in (and the leaving of the nest it represents) is “change” and therefore stressful to the dad. Then figure out how best to compensate. No time to be Iron Dad.</p>
<p>S’s sister put everything away for him and hung up all his pictures with him. We tip-toed away and let them bond and feel grown-up together.</p>
<p>She did a great job, and S had a great room. He would not have been able to figure out where to put everything and probably would have left some of it in bags.</p>
<p>Hi 07Dad. </p>
<p>D is going for a master’s in London. She is moving in herself!!!</p>
<p>This is a great thread!</p>
<p>Starbucks is always needed for situations like these :)</p>
<p>We have a plan for this year. DS and I are moving DD into her place next week. DS has been told he is to hook up the cable and internet and then wait in the car. 
DH is flying to Boston to move DS into his place in a few weeks. Let’s see…moving in a crowded city on the worst day possible, drive to Ikea and wait in line to buy furniture, haul it and build it, drive to inlaws and pick up everything stored there over the summer…definitely a Dad job in our household!
They can hit the bars together when they have had enough. I’ll be home alone with a nice glass of wine and a book.</p>
<p>We moved S1 into the worst, most disgusting, teeny tiny quad that the world has ever seen. He wasn’t happy. On move-in day, every student – a quad, remember – had two parents. So there were 12 of us in this teeny tiny quad. It was a tremendous relief to finally leave.</p>
<p>Oh yeah – did I mention is was f***ing hot?</p>
<p>When we moved S2 in, DH was scheduled for a hip replacement, due to osteoarthritis. He had his cane with him, but a lot of pain when he walked. S2 was on the second floor of the dorm – not too bad for DH to get to – but there was no place in the room for DH to sit down. After an hour, we just had to leave, so DH could sit and be out of pain.</p>
<p>(And should I go into my pity party about how I flew to college, to a school I had never laid eyes on, and moved myself in, all by myself, than you very much?)</p>
<p>I put things away in my son’s desk with the result that he said (in May) “I have a deck of cards? I wish I’d known that.” </p>
<p>LOL at the quad - mathson was so lucky with his room - though it wasn’t on the main campus.</p>
<p>But making the bed? I’d do that again. :)</p>
<p>Me too. I like the look of the room fitted out and waiting, whatever happens to it afterwards.</p>
<p>While Mom & I unpacked the clothes and made my bed, Dad disappeared for a while. He came back with a small fridge and a bunch of food to fill it with - sodas, lunch meat, cheese and sandwich fixins, Oreos, chips - all kinds of “make me happy” junk food. I was really surprised as I was on the mandatory dining hall plan so I hadn’t thought I’d need this. It made my Dad an instant hero to my roommate and me (not that he wasn’t already my hero). Also made me very popular as no one else in the dorm had a fridge. Over 30 years later I still remember this, so huge Dad points were earned.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>When D1 moved in, I was still needed at that point. I had to stay and schlep furniture around the room as the womenfolk arranged and rearranged the beds, desks, and dressers into every possible configuration before deciding what was just right.</p>
<br>
<br>
<p>We bought a nice one for D1, but when we moved her out at year’s end it was clear she had never once used any of the tools in it. She said some boys in from other rooms had borrowed it though.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Smart sister. She obviously wants brother to help other the girls move in. What an opportunity. :)</p>
<p>
^^ This Is My Favorite Post On CC Of All Time***</p>
<p>We moved DD in last weekend, and in the room next door, there were two kids (who had never met), and a total of four parents (who had never met). That was just a double. I briefly glanced in while moving stuff by their room in the hallway, and just shook my head in disbelief.</p>
<p>VeryHappy, you’re my new hero, for surviving that. I know whereof you speak, and I’m in your shoes. I’m just saying’…</p>
<p>-Prior to departure/during trip:
Do not cry.
Do not lecture/provide life lessons.
Do not fight with your spouse or child.</p>
<p>-Upon arrival:
Help carry the stuff into room.
Do not comment on quality or size of room - this is their home.
Do not make bed. This is their home.
Do not put items away. This is their home.
Take your cue from child - “I got it from here”…“Ok, thanks for helping” = leave their new home - now.
Say goodbye - 2 minute rule- handshake/hug from Dad; hug/kiss from Mom.
Leave life lesson note and $20 in student mailbox, or mail to them next week.</p>
<p>-Ride home:
Do not fight with your spouse (displaced anger/sadness)
Have a drink together.
Celebrate the good job you’ve done raising your child.
Make plans together, as your life has just started a new phase.
Decide how long you will wait to call them, as they will probably not call you.</p>
<p>One of the advantages of having your kid go to school 3000 miles away;you only help him/her move in once. He/she’ll have to handle everything on his/her own in subsequent years. We just made sure he/she arrived at the airport on time.</p>
<p>I didn’t send my H away after we brought everything to the room. Mine was there to help unpack after I cleaned and lined all the drawers and shelves.</p>
<p>Re post #54: I like people to help me move it. It can be a daunting task. My kids appreciated the help as well. Tastes and desires vary.</p>
<p>By all means, take the cue from the student.</p>
<p>“I second the idea of bringing tools. Better yet, buy a small tool box of basics – small hammer, pliers, wrench, 3-4 screwdrivers, duct tape, and WD-40 – that you will leave with your student.”</p>
<p>My parents gave me this last November for my 18th birthday, even though I won’t move in for another week or so. All the tools are pink. Because I’m a girl, of course.
After sending both sons off to India and Singapore for two years each, without any visits, sending me to a college an hour away isn’t exactly daunting.</p>
<p>The Vanderbilt Admissions blog has a great video clip posted at the May 27, 2009 entry by Thom. It shows last year’s move-in day, and he warns that there are some Kleenex moments. I have to say that I did tear up at the part where a mom is sitting on a bench outside the dorm with her daughter, comforting her like she’s a preschooler.
I loved the Vanderbilt idea of taking a family photo on move-in day.</p>
<p>Send DH to explore the book store. </p>
<p>When we moved S2 in last year, we rented a large SUV for all his stuff and drove 900 + miles. We moved him into a double, and I put clothes and stuff away (so we could take the boxes/tubs back home) as S2 directed. I made the bed but not with both sheets because I figured a lot of eating happens in dorm beds and if he spilled something, both sheets would get dirty. </p>
<p>My putting stuff away did have the desired effect of two phone calls on the way home to ask where certain items were. </p>
<p>ON move out day, put H to work keeping list of items we were leaving in storage.</p>
<p>I found I was needed much more on move-out than move in. In the former role, I was something like the beachmaster in “The Longest Day.” Clearing space and reorganizing the “trunk room” for over the summer storage was a significant labor as most students idea of “organization” appeared to be, “walk into the room as far as you can and then drop stuff in front of you.” The idea of stacking, with big & heavy stuff on the bottom, lighter and fragile stuff on top, with a corridor running down the middle to provide access to the whole lot, seemed totally alien to virutally everyone who had preceded me. And let’s not talk about the number of students for whom “storage” meant “shoving into large trash bags.”</p>