To black women?

Student Lounge African-American Students
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<p>^I agree completely with BeatifulNerd’s posts.</p>

<p>Statistics are like mini-skirts…they give you good ideas but hide the most important parts. You’ve got to look at what’s behind those statistics if you want to get anything meaningful done. </p>

<p>As for my views on marriage, all the marriages i’ve seen in my family have been fairly happy ones. I don’t know anybody in my family who’s ever had a divorce, but that doesn’t mean that I expect marriage to be all wonderful. Like BeautifulNerd, I take vows seriously, and I will only marry someone that I share true happiness with. I hold the view that true happiness in a marriage can transcend any arguments, fights, or disputes.</p>

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<p>Even when I disregard the statistics for marriage and black women because my opinion was never based on that in the first place, I still don’t think marriage is for me. Maybe my opinion will change as I get older but as for now that’s just how I feel.</p>

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<p>Well, from a Black man’s point of view, all I know is that I truly want to get married and settle down at some point in my life … to a black woman. Not only do I want to make up for the screw ups of my own father from leaving a strong and passionate black woman, I just think it’s the right thing for me to do. Almost no one in my family stays together and I want something different for my own children. I want to give them an experience that I never really had and that is a marriage characterized by faithful and responsible parents who truly love each other.</p>

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<p>There’s a probablitity. That’s all. People say figures don’t lie but liars figure. I was just asking how do you feel about the odds. I understand. Sometimes I wonder what I’m going to do when I get older. Will I get married? Will I have kids? Who will I marry? Will she be black? If she’s not will my black (female) friends be upset? But I was just asking people to weigh in. Didn’t mean to be negative.</p>

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<p>^^^ It’s normal to be curious about how your life will turn out.</p>

<p>I’m positive that I wanna get married. I’ve always known I wanted to get married. Disney channel? LOL no. I don’t know. I just always felt that there’s that special someone that you end up with.</p>

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<p>^^^ I couldn’t agree more. I think theres someone out there for everyone that chooses to search for a marriage partner.</p>

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<p>^^^ Exactly. I think that special person finds you. I wasn’t looking, and I found someone special.</p>

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<p>I haven’t yet. But things just tend to crash into me for no good reason. THat’s what I’m expecting</p>

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<p>Why do I feel as if this thread devolved into a feel-good session rather than the fiery debate it could’ve been?</p>

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<p>Good point Always end on a high note I say. But if it’s fiery debate you want, I’ll let you draw metaphorical first blood.</p>

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<p>Lol because BeautifulNerd always makes things so peachy.
I’m watching Michael Jackson videos on TV. Hehe random tangent.
I tend to start those too.</p>

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<p>Having been blissfully married for almost 16 years, I feel that i can speak from experience. (Sorry to be a lurker, but I do have a daughter who will be college bound in a few years)</p>

<p>I think that people marry the wrong people. If you have been in a relationship with this person, and break up every other month, why go ahead and marry them? Because they are settling, assuming that they can’t do better.</p>

<p>Also, if you find yourself involved with loser after loser, recall your basic math and find the common denominator - YOU! People have to work on themselves, in order to attract the type of person that they SHOULD be with. If I keep dating jerks, what does that say about me (what am I doing to attract these jerks, and why do I accept this behavior during our relationship).</p>

<p>This was my life, before I realized that I was the problem in all of these scenarios. I asked God to change me, I worked on myself, and BOOM, my husband walked into my life.</p>

<p>Neither my husband, nor I had any childhood role models of a happy, long lasting marriage. Fortunately, our daughter, her friends and our nieces and nephew will.</p>

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<p>Who says black women have to marry black men? Oo</p>

<p>Please don’t say no other race desires us b/c they do some just won’t admit it.</p>

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<p>^ they don’t. Black women are spectacular human beings and I truly appreciate them. The rest of the world should also. My advice to black women is to find a man who appreciates them for who they are, regardless of race.</p>

<p>Essentially, do you …</p>

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<p>They don’t. Studies like [url=<a href=“http://memory.syr.edu/jennifer/teaching/class_articles/KlecEtal74.pdf]this[/url”>http://memory.syr.edu/jennifer/teaching/class_articles/KlecEtal74.pdf]this[/url</a>] help clear up a lot of the talk about people being mostly attracted to members of their own race. </p>

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<p>As always, a sage piece of advice. :)</p>

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<p>Who says women have to get married to be happy, successful or fulfilled? That was the case when women had to rely on men to be economically supported or to have kids without considered shameful, but it’s not the case now.</p>

<p>I know many women who are very happy being single. In fact, they are happier than are many married women.</p>

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<p>I was waiting for someone to say this.</p>

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<p>Likewise.</p>

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<p>You’re right. There’s a different set of standards for everyone in their life. Successful and happy is COMPLETELY objective.</p>

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<p>Where are the family values. I blame it on the men. Then they leave you with all the kids and go do the same thing to someone else. Then they don’t pay for the kids. And then you have to sit at home and raise them yourself. It just ain’t right.</p>

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<p>You can’t just blame infidelity entirely on a man. That just ain’t right. More often than realized, women are sometimes the catalysts of the problems within their homes. That’s not to say otherwise of men.</p>