Would You Choose to Be Black Again?

Student Lounge African-American Students
1

<p>The other thread, what it's like to be black, is fairly interesting, so I thought I'd start a more controversial and different discusison topic.</p>

<p>Once, I was with a group of friends (all black females) and somehow the question "Would you choose to be black again if you could choose your race" came up. My immediate thought was, God, no, and I thought everyone would be thinking the same thing but wouldn't want to say it. However, the girls I was with all immediately said things like "Of course!" and "Duh!". I was dumbfounded. I started to make the obvious arguments (discrimination, racism, etc.), and everyone sort of stared at me and started making comments like "of course you would say that, you want to be white", "typical oreo", etc. </p>

<p>To this day, I think that I stick by my original idea that I wouldn't want to be black again. I'm not sure what my reason is though. Is it really just that I want to be white and don't want to admit it? Am I falling for society's view points of white=right? Or is really just that being black is too much of burden to bear even in this day and age? I haven't dug deep enough to figure out which is the answer. </p>

<p>But anyway, I digresss. </p>

<p>I'd like to pose the question to you guys: Would you choose to be black again?</p>

2

<p>Wow, get help! JK...I love being black. It is who I am. Can't change it, don't want too.</p>

3

<p>Hmmm, I don't think anyone should choice. It's wierd to choice, has it's anti-reality. </p>

<p>But I know I've thought when younger, and still do that I don't want to be white.</p>

4

<p>I would not want to be white, I would just like to be treated as an individual.</p>

5

<p>That makes me really sad that you feel that way.
Of course I would choose to be black.
I hope you become comfortable in your own skin soon...</p>

6

<p>Dbate-I'm totally with you! I love being black..no matter how anyone treats me. I just make sure I treat others the way I want to be treated. If they don't treat me right, then it's fair to say it's because of the color of my skin. My bronze color means so much to me! Not saying I wouldn't mind being darker, I just would never ever change that! :)</p>

<p>p.s. I'm sorry you feel you would be white in a next life, I understand entirely. I used to feel the same way but things change and times are changing! :)</p>

7

<p>I think that I would choose to be black. I feel that for an Asian to enter medical school is a good thing. For a white guy to enter into IB from HBS is a great thing. But for a black person it is a great thing. Not that blacks are inferior, but to overcome the odds I feel would be a great opportunity that I would not want to miss by being someone else.</p>

8

<p>Being black is no problem, but ditto to Dbate, I would like it to not be such a big deal.</p>

9

<p>hell yeah!!</p>

10

<p>I'm white, I work in a daycare center. I was reading a book, and there was a line in it that I read which said something about 'a white man' and the speaker was an Indian.</p>

<p>One of the kids, a black girl, asked about it. So somehow I launched into a comment about how white people were European in ancestry, and then casually said to her, Your ancestry is both European and African.</p>

<p>She was puzzled, she is only 5. So then she wanted to know if she was white. I said, partially, in the sense that she is partially white and partly black. She then wanted to know if she was white as a baby. That's when I really took a hard look at her. It was clear to me that she wanted to be white. </p>

<p>Only 5, and somehow she had picked up some nuance somewhere. She happens to be a very sharp kid, very smart. I felt badly.</p>

11

<p>To finish, I responded by saying she was herself, being white or black didn't matter. I listed the things that made her who she was, pretty, smart, both black and white, friendly, a leader (she's a natural), and maybe one other thing. I didn't want to belabor the subject, so I moved on. </p>

<p>You just never know what kids are thinking. When she said she wanted 'white' hair like the white-blonde we have in the classroom, I told her that her brown hair was pretty, and wasn't she glad she didn't have gray hair like her teacher? That got a laugh and agreement.</p>

12

<p>FOR SURE.
it's incredible to have a culture and a history as distinct as ours.
i'm proud to be part of a group of people who have accomplished and overcome so much.</p>

13

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/african-american-students/664416-please-chance-poor-c-b-howard-applicant.html%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/african-american-students/664416-please-chance-poor-c-b-howard-applicant.html&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

14

<p>I agree with princessbell in that being white would certainly make many things significantly easier. However, I really do love the skin i'm in and I don't think that I could change it if given the option - the boost in admissions is too lovely to give up! ;)</p>

15

<p>When I was younger in those awkward middle school years I did not so much want to be white as I wanted to not be black. Because I don't know being black was tantamount to something bad, but I never wanted to be white. I was always really proud of the fact that I am 1/16 (or more I don't know about if my dad is part) native american. For me I wished I could have been full native american, because I saw a history of a proud people with a distinct culture that I longed for.
I think one of the greatest injustices about slavery was that we as people completely lost our past, we lost our traditions and customs and become a people with nothing. I think this lack of depth is why so many AA students and the AA community as a whole underpreforms and fails to succeed as an aggregate, because if you don't have a depth in yourself how can you expect to really succeed? </p>

<p>On a side note: I was talking to one of my white friends about the standards of beauty and he said that white people determined what was beautiful, and to be completely honest he was right. The traditional conceptions of what makes a beautiful woman are entirely based on a white conception of the world. And this conception of black not being beautiful largely contributes to the lack of self-esteem amongst minorities and the higher probability that successful minorities choose to date and marry other races.</p>

<p>(I mention women in particular as opposed to men, because in our conversation we said that the beauty thing applied more to women because men focus more on the physical than women IMO)</p>

16

<p>When I was young, once I learned about race, I definitely did wish to be white. At that time, there were no black people on TV except for Amos and Andy and Buckwheat in Little Rascals reunions. I always found those characters to be embarassing.</p>

<p>Ebony was the only publication in which I saw black people, and the black women depicted were so light skinned and had such straight hair and narrow features that they virtually could pass for white.</p>

<p>I lived in a town in which the black population was so small that there was only one other black student in my class until I was in 5th grade. Unfortunately that girl was the dumbest one in the class. When I transferred schools in 5th grade, my brother and I integrated that school.</p>

<p>There had never been a black Miss America or any kind of black beauty queen that I was aware of. All the fairytale princeses had blonde hair, blue eyes except for Snow white, who had black hair and....</p>

<p>So, I definitely wanted to be white and I wanted blonde hair and blue eyes.</p>

<p>I grew out of that in part because the black power movement changed my life. Being able to go around with my natural hair (I have very nappy hair that my mom -- who had wavy, soft, long hair) thought was embarrassing also changed my life. I went natural as a teen and basically never went back.</p>

<p>I dove into black history starting as a high school senior, and became very proud of my African ancestry.</p>

<p>Now if I could choose to do it over, I'd definitely come back as a black person. I'd just hope to finally be in a time and place where people of all races are treated the same.</p>

17

<p>This is a long and impassioned post. If you're going to comment on it, well, at least read the entire thing first.</p>

<p>To tell the truth, I was hesitant to reply again because I felt the same kind of hurt as I did in middle school from the initial comments. It seems like every time I feel "okay" in my own shoes, something knocks me down. I was honestly expecting most of people on here to agree somewhat with me about how difficult it can be to be black, even in today's society where things are "almost equal." </p>

<p>But after a few days, I realize- to each her own. Maybe I am an anomaly, and maybe it's what made me me. I don't- and I never said this before- want to be white. I simply don't want to be judged by the color of my skin, and it just happens that I have been judged quite a bit, maybe more so than any of you. </p>

<p>I think that what makes me different than "the average black person" is that my most negative experiences have been not with whites or other races, but within the black community itself. The fact of the matter is that I'm not a member of the Black community (my parents are both immigrants from Africa), and I feel awkward and frustrated because I am being held to the standards of a culture that I am not a part of. I've been discriminated against and made fun of (by blacks) for having dark skin. I've been discriminated against for being "too smart" (by blacks). I've been discriminated against for "talking white" (by blacks). I've never had ANY of those comments made by any other race except black people (when I say black, I mean non-immigrant family black people). </p>

<p>And like Northstarmom began to point out- 1) Even blacks subconscoiusly look up to whites in their beauty standards and 2) White is currently (and has nearly always been) the standard for much of the Western world. My family contains a number of different shades of skin (as all families do). My mother is an orange-y sort of brown, while my dad is VERY dark. I've never been able to see any sort of pattern in African couples (i.e women are always ligher, etc.) because they just don't pay much attention to skin tone at all. I've NEVER had a comment from anyone in my family or from Ghana about how dark my skin is. In contrast, I CONSTANTLY have to deal with black Americans saying stuff like "why the hell do you work at a pool? you'll just get darker!" and "I can't see you at night hahaha". It has nothing to do with education levels or anything- I get these types of comments from adults, teens, even little kids, who are from private and public schools, rich and poor areas. The only unifying thing is that they ALWAYS come from black people. It is RIDICULOUSLY obvious that most black people are trying to be white subconsciously and don't want to admit it. You name it- perms/relaxers, the brown paper bag rule, hair extensions- ALL these things point to the white culture as the number one standard and people just don't want to admit it. Yet, I, dark as can be with "nappy" roots, am the only one who is ever chastised for "wanting to be white." I get dissed constantly for dating white guys by the same black guys who clearly prefer black girls who are literally one shade away from being a tan white person. I don't have a problem with dating black guys (I have many times), they're the ones who have a problem with dating me! But the whole black girl/black guy thing is a whole different story, one I could go on about for days.</p>

<p>I just don't understand how a community can function with so much inner hatred and so many paradoxes. Many Black studies scholars have pointed out the things I have mentioned above as the reason why the black community can't "rise up." It's not okay to follow "good" white standards like doing well in school and talking properly, but it's okay to waste money on perms and weaves? It's not okay when white people discriminate against blacks, but it's okay for a guy to dismiss a girl because she's "too dark"? It's okay for black people and their friends to use the N-word, but not anyone else?</p>

<p>I guess the reason I wouldn't want to be black again is simply because I'm NOT black- I'm an American with recent African origins who is characterized as something I'm not. It's tiring having to defend black culture when I'm not even a part of it. And the worst part is I'm held down by the bad things, but I don't even get the good things. I feel disconnected from discussions about how people's great- grandparents were slaves and "oh, my mom's searching for my ancestor's slave ship" and things like that because I already know EXACTLY what village my family came from, and Africa's not some cool mystery land as much as it is a place that's too freakin' hot, impossible to get to in less than 2 days, filled with annoying loud aunties who make you watch noisy annoying babies and babble with your mom in a lanuage you barely undertand, and replete with incomprehensible things like public spankings and electricity that only works a few hours a day. I have to go to really expensive restaurants or friends' houses to get anything that tastes remotely like soul food. I definetely don't celebrate Kwanzaa (not that many people do) and our extended family isn't very close at all because, well, they're 6000 miles away :) </p>

<p>So that's my point. I know I'm not the only one out there who feels this way, but if I am, I couldn't care less. I have grown a lot since my middle school days, and I have sucessfully been able to deal with ridiculousness and now pride myself on being someone who approaches most situations with a true post-racial view.</p>

18

<p>When you put it that way, princessbell, I totally get where you are coming from.</p>

<p>Most racial discrimination I have encountered, too, has come from other black people. And yeah...it's tough to deal with. It can be difficult. It can be frustrating.</p>

<p>I feel like many many many young black people have wanted to not be black at some point in time. I used to hate being black. I hated going to visit my family cause I felt so out of place (my parents moved to the suburbs while most everyone else stayed closer to the city). I hated being the token black person among my friends. I hated the judgemental I got from other black people for listening to rock music and reading Shakespeare. </p>

<p>But I can honestly say now that I wouldn't want to be anything else. I've grown tougher skin. I've learned what is important in a relationship and that the people who matter don't care if you are mocha brown, toffee, or caramel. I've critically analyzed what race and ethnicity really means, and come to realize that it only means what an individual wants it to. That is why I love being black. Because what being black means to me may not be exactly what it means to the person standing next to me.</p>

19

<p>I would definitely choose to be black again but it would be just as easy to come back as a Latino, White, or Asian person. I haven't had any negative experiences because of my race dany that I have had were not important or life changing.</p>

<p>In response to what princessbell wrote, people who perm there hair are not trying to be White. Asians, Hispanics, and people of mixed race also have straight hair but that's besides the point. I perm my hair because I'm lazy. When I wake up it takes about 30 secs to do my hair and I only get a perm a few times of year. I have a few friends that are natural and a lot more goes into doing it than I thought. I look at it this way: people curl their hair all the time, do you think they're trying to be Hispanic? I feel that people try to read to much into this subject.</p>

<p>I'm also very dark and I lay out in the sun as much as anyone else. Past the second grade, I haven't heard anyone make any cracks about that either. I don't see why I'd want to make myself White, I don't see why it matters. What do they have going for themselves that I don't? We're all human and we're not as disconnected as some portray us to be. And its just as easy to have White friends as it is to have Black ones.</p>

<p>I'm really thankful that I grew up in a diverse area because I haven't had to experience the racial issues that many people have had to go through. I'll admit that I can't fully understand your perspective because I haven't lived in your shoes. I'm glad that you've been able "to deal with ridiculousness and now pride myself on being someone who approaches most situations with a true post-racial view."</p>

<p>I've tried, but I just can't understand why it's hard for some to be Black. While most grow out of this phase to be proud, Black adults, a few others latch onto this hatred of their race for the rest of their life. It bewilders me.</p>

20

<p>I wonder whether any research has been conducted regarding African-American vs. Northern European American requirements for sunlight? Vitamin D synthesis and SAD (Seasonal Disaffective Disorder) are probably only the "tip of the iceburg".</p>

<p>Sun exposure seems to be a thing which is good in moderation but bad in excess.
What constitutes excess/deficiency for a platinum blond is probably very different from excess/deficiency for an African American.</p>