<p>Are you upset by the fact that 70% of you are single, and 42% won't get married? I told some of myfriends about it and they felt well aware that if they were going to college, they might have to possibly drop their standards a tad after they graduate and they're looking for a husband. What do you guys think? men, I would be interested to here about your ideas too.</p>
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<p>Not particularly. At this stage in my life, marriage does not appear very attractive. And being single lets me have as many guy friends as I want - a good number at this point. :)</p>
<p>While at the Columbia prefrosh weekend, I had the pleasure of meeting one of the women featured in “Black in America 2,” and briefly discussed some of the points she had made in the show. She was quite frank about her stance with regards to the opposite sex (i.e. the so-called “lowering of standards”), but overall seemed to be quite content with the way things had turned out, despite the fact that she was single. And that is the message I think a lot of us are missing out on here: you don’t need to be married to be content or fully satisfied. My experience with viewing married couples has not been positive; I have met a grand total of one happy couple in my entire life. Perhaps this makes me a tad biased, but marriage does not seem to be the way to contentment later in life; rather, it is a source of endless contention, disagreement, querulousness, and half-hearted and insipid emotion, replete with empty words once a year (most choose a wedding anniversary or birthday) that are not reflected in actions. Not my thing, ya dig?</p>
<p>I don’t really think I’ll be tying my concept of happiness to whether or not someone who happened to be born with a pair of testes finds me an attractive mate.</p>
<p>“70% of you are single, and 42% won’t get married”</p>
<p>Does anyone else have a problem with that phrasing of statistics? I’m a guy, so I mostly hear “X percent of you black males will be in jail by the time you’re 21” =/</p>
<p>Well, right now I am still contemplating whether or not I even believe in marriage. Like Ksarmand said I havent seen too many happily married couples. For all that is put into it, marriage doesn’t seem like its worth it. I want to find someone special but whether I would want to get married to them is another story. I still dont even know if I want to have children. Domesticity is just not for me.</p>
<p>@Dnerd: Yeah. You’re right. How pessimistic of me. I read about this guy in a sociology book and he was well in his 30s. He stated that he was content without his life seemingly going nowhere. Everyday he wasn’t dead or behind bars was ultimately a victory in itself.</p>
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<p>Well, as a black female who does not have some of the more usually salient physical traits many females of African heritage possess, I usually hear things along the lines of “How on earth will you ever manage to get a husband if you keep up that attitude? You already don’t have the goods.” :rolleyes: It’s almost as if I should be searching for someone’s pardon because of the way I look and the fact that I do not aggressively pursue male attention; I feel that males are not placed under similar pressure to maintain a particular appearance or behavior.</p>
<p>It’s rough on both sides of the aisle, no matter what way you slice it. Having to combat stereotypes and statistics is the burden of being black in modern day America.</p>
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<p>Wow that’s really harsh. :(</p>
<p>Sometimes I get depressed about it, maybe because i’m tied into a traditional idea of two parent family, couples and love.
Lately, I’ve just tried to accept it and disprove the meaning of love so that Ican pretend not to care.
The issue is really thorny for me so I’ve decided that one must JUST STAY SINGLE. Forever.
I join a nunnery. Aha! that is my life’s purpose!</p>
<p>^^Well, at least they don’t sugarcoat. :)</p>
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<p>Mind if I join you?</p>
<p>Yeah! Yes! I’m so excited. We actually should start our own nunnery. We can call ourselves the SISTAS! and every morning compose an original rap song to the lord.</p>
<p>Yo,I belive
I believe in the man also God
the father
the father almighty
and his baby momma , Mary who
and be makin my number # 1 Homie
Jesus Christ
AKA…</p>
<p>^:D 
<----repeat ad infinitum</p>
<p>That would be hilarious, I must admit. <em>laughs uncontrollably</em>
Now if only we could get people to join.</p>
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Who wants to meet happy couples? Happy families are all alike. Every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.</p>
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<p>Well, because I liked your reference, I won’t object too strenuously. But who on earth wants to be tied down to an unhappy relationship?</p>
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<p>This .</p>
<p>It’s kind of sad :[
Hopefully things can change in the future…as the previous poster mentioned, there kinda is a shortage of black men because they’re either in prison…or married to someone of a different race?</p>
<p>but…maybe asian males + black women= !!!</p>
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<p>Well, I was mostly kidding and just wanted to make the reference :D.</p>
<p>But most shouldn’t really expect marital bliss. Whatever is your standard emotional state now will likely remain throughout your life, barring any huge developments. Since most of you guys probably have misfortunes that differentiate you from other individuals, your marriages, should you choose that path, will also have certain sadnesses.</p>
<p>To actually address the OP, I’m apathetic. Since I’m not determined or certainly planning to be married and just will do so if I feel the inclination, a shortage of men doesn’t matter that much for me. I also don’t care about my husband’s race, nationality, or religion (though I do have certain broad religious preferences) so I have a wide swath. Not all of them could hate me :).</p>
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<p>I don’t think any posters on this thread do; however, a good deal of us do have an aversion to being miserable.</p>
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<p>I should hope that emotional constipation is not to be my lot forever.</p>
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<p>I second that thought which is why I would rather not go through the whole shabang to begin with.</p>
<p>[url=<a href=“Happinessinthisworld.com”>Happinessinthisworld.com]This[/url</a>] is a rather interesting article. </p>
<p>Je suis d’accord avec cet article.</p>
<p>/failed attempt at French :)</p>
<p>I don’t really look at statistics. They’re so depressing. I’m an individual not some number that satisfies someone else’s thinking. Besides most of the black women I know are taken or married.</p>
<p>And as far as expecting unhappy marriages, nah. I’m the opposite. I take the vows seriously. You should marry someone that makes you happy. That’s what I’m gonna do. It’s logical, but I guess some people take into account certain circumstances such as getting married for your child’s sake not your own (which is understandable I guess).</p>