To parents of full-pay private college students

Right. Not so easy to replicate.

I’ve got three kids. In terms of academics, I have one low, one medium, and one high.

Each one had a list of schools that went from full sticker price on the high side to below $20k on the low side. There’s thousands of colleges in the U.S. So just like Lake Wobegon, each of my kids turned out to be above average somewhere.

We didn’t pay sticker price for the low one or the medium one. No decisions made yet on the high one; but the high one (despite the big merit awards) could turn out to be the one we do pay full sticker for. But that would be our (painful expensive) choice.

I beg to disagree.

"According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the average household income was $73,298 in 2014, the latest year for which complete data is available. "

So, 65k sticker price for 4 years of school seems a little, um, unbalanced, wouldn’t you say?

“Looking back at the last decade, the 10-year historical rate of increase for college tuition is approximately 5 percent.”

Cost of living increased on average of 2-3 over that time period.

There’s a tidy disconnect there.

I agree there is merit out there at all levels. My daughter has a weighted 4.0 and not great test scores, amazing EC’s, and very good essays, she’s still gotten generous merit offers from 6 schools. My husband had a dream the other night that she got into her “lottery ticket” school, Barnard and it was full pay, no nothing. He woke up and said “if she gets into Barnard, we have to send her, even if it’s full pay… like we’d have no choice. What a nightmare!” Lol. She will no way get into Barnard, but full pay or close to are still on the table for some of her schools… we’ll see how the merit offers stack up, how many tiers down we’re willing to go for merit money.

Is Cornell much, much better than SUNY? Is UPenn far superior to Penn State? Is U of Chicago a few magnitude better than U of Illinois at Chicago? Can anyone justify the extra cost of the elite universities? I think the answer in the end lay with each individual family choice.

For me (and I would like to think the same for many families on this thread as well) we choose to spend our moderate financial success on our child/children. I drive a 12 year old car. I easily could have gotten an AMG S63 if I limit my kid’s choice of college to in state. But we as parents feel that our kid deserves all “the odds be ever in her favor”. Even though an USNWR Top 25 school may not be really worth the price, we are willing to give our kid the potential extra edge in life.

I think it’s a very personal choice. Even among people who don’t have unlimited wealth but can afford to pay full tab, some want to make needed sacrifices, others don’t. It’s about priorities.

Over Christmas, we had a medical scare for DD. DD was unaware of the potential serious implications of her illness so blissfully spent the holiday looking forward to returning to school while I completely spazzed out and was reallocating money set aside for her tuition to anticipated medical bills. Fortunately, it looks like it’ll end up being just a scare.

We just paid her large tuition bill and I could not have been more happy to do so. It’s all relative.

@ihs76 I have so much respect for parents like you, most young adults don’t understand how rare it is to have parents like you who make these sacrifices. Most parents want kids to take the cheapest possible route, even if they have the means to help out.

@"Yalie 2011 , while I share your respect for @ihs76 (and am very relieved that it was “just a scare”), I think that you quite possibly underestimate how many parents are as happy as ihs76 to be paying tuition.

When my first attended college, a zillion years ago, when writing the check had more impact than it does today, I remember thinking that it was the most joyful check I ever wrote. With 3 in college now, and with inflation, the checks are larger, but it is WHY we work and invest wisely: to be able to write those checks.

There are, I think, a great silent majority of parents who gladly pay.

@northwesty My son has decent stats but not tippy top. He gets good merit aid but not enough in many cases to make it affordable (sub $35K). Sure we have the capacity to access the credit markets but that is not very smart. The grim reality is that if you are middle class you will receive no FIN AID. It is just not out there for the middle class. That leaves only Merit aid. If your child is not a tippy top with perfect test scores, then you will only receive a mediocre package. Most private schools are reserved for the elite class in America. It is just reality. those outside the elite class are relegated to the public schools. It has always been this way. We just need to teach our kids to do the best they can given the cards they are dealt. My kids were not born into the elite class and they need to understand that. The kings and queens will always have it better. The sooner they understand that and get the tears out the better.

“So, 65k sticker price for 4 years of school seems a little, um, unbalanced, wouldn’t you say?”

Dragon – but the average net revenue per student going into the colleges has basically been flat (in real dollars) for many years. So while the sticker price has increased to crazy levels, the net price actually being paid is sideways. Which is why you have to understand the pricing model. Sticker price minus fin aid minus merit aid equals actual price. The average student at a private college today receives a 44% discount off of tuition sticker price. If a school has half its students full paying, that’s a sky high number.

If most people actually had to pay $65k a year for college, the colleges would have gone out of business a long time ago. Of course the vast majority of families can’t pay that. And they don’t.

Some people can and do pay full sticker, but that’s a choice . Often times a tough choice – the kid really LOVES Georgetown, but is it worth 2X or 3X the price of, say, Loyola? Especially when most of your kid’s Gtown classmates will be paying much less than sticker price. But it is a fortunate problem to have.

@northwesty does make me feel a bit like we will be paying for other students’ tuition though. We will pay and others who haven’t saved will not. First world problem for sure. Not really sour grapes for us, but it remains the case that those of us full pay are contributing more money to the college’s pocket than those who are not.

We’ve found that the schools that have given our daughter merit at her more modest stats are giving her enough to get to the same cost of in state flagships. Maybe that’s just because I’m in California and the UC system is running 33k a year. The CSU’s are 16-22k ish a year, but there’s only really one she’d want to attend. The merit aide gives her choices and we’re grateful for it. There’s still a few more elite colleges on the list and we’d pay full sticker if it’s the right opportunity, we’ll see how it goes. We have frequent discussions about which schools are worth 60-70k a year… Barnard yes? NYU maybe? Fordham maybe we’d pay 40? We’ll see.

Homerdog – I don’t think the fin aid formulas really bear out that you are severely punished for saving.

Most 529s are treated as a parent asset rather than a student asset for FAFSA. So your kid’s 529 only gets nicked by 5.6% a year (rather than 20% a year if treated as the kid’s asset).

The personal choice is tough for a donut hole family to pay full sticker price. But you are always better off making more and having saved more. The EFCs for families who make/save less are very challenging too.

@socalmom007 That might just be a CA thing. I have not found that to be true with the NE schools. Your very fortunate to have access to the schools you do in CA for such a reasonable cost.

Those discounts don’t mean much.

" In 2014, there was approximately $1.3 trillion of outstanding student loan debt in the U.S. that affected 44 million borrowers who had an average outstanding loan balance of $37,172."

Those middle class kids are getting hit hard, because somebody has convinced the kids of parents making 75K a year to take on egregious amounts of debt for four years of school.

I don’t really think the UC’s are a bargain at 33k, I think it’s a ton of money for a public school my taxes are also supporting. I’m not sure what in state costs are for everyone else? What I meant is the out of state privates are giving her enough to get down to that same cost of attendance. With a private school on the east coast, smaller classes sizes, etc… it may be worth it to have a differ3nt college experience.

@homerdog I am with you on “…those of us full pay are contributing more money to the college’s pocket than those who are not.”

We have lived way below our means, stayed in our old house and kept driving the old clunker. The reward is that if someday my kid is lucky enough to get admitted into her dream school, we can support her choice without worrying about any aid package. And if she makes up her mind early, we can let her do an ED without worrying about the need to compare the financial aid by different schools by April. And the ED may just be the little amount of edge she needs to get into school of her choice.

Pet peeve/pure ranting (and please don’t flame): Frequently I read on CC that parents complain about ED is only for the rich. Well, while some of us are indeed financially more fortunate, we have also done our homework in investing and maintained a more disciplined life style below what we can afford. It is not our fault that we don’t spend the bonus on fancy trip but instead wait for the market downturn to put the money in the College 529. Don’t blame us for making wise choice and stacking the odds in favor of our kid.

Just curious about how colleges fund financial aid. Occasionally, parents will post this same regret on the boarding school forum, but the boarding schools do not use tuition dollars to fund financial aid; all aid comes from the school’s endowment, and the endowment is funded by donations/gifts/investment. I don’t know if it’s the same at the college level but, if it is, then you do not need to regret being fortunate enough to be able to write those checks.

If we are talking about parents who are full pay, I suspect there is a majority who are so gladly. Pretty much all of them had other options which would have been taken if the parents weren’t happy to be full pay. There may be some who protest a little but much of that I suspect is a brag thing. I really hate to write checks for $120k each year for my two kids which translates into I have $120k each year to spend so you should be impressed.

If we are talking about people who by EFC/CC standards/or some other measure of parents who could be full pay, I would guess the majority of such parents are not full pay. And I expect that as college costs continue to rise, that majority will continue to increase.