Hey, everyone! Let’s see if we can have an actual discussion on sororities without it dissolving into a hatefest, shall we?
So to be honest, I never really considered going Greek. I always saw it as just an excuse to party all the time or something that only pretty, popular girls had a chance at. I’ve done a little bit of research into the Greek community at my intended university, and now I’m feeling pretty conflicted. I feel like I’m really not what they’d be looking for - I’m overweight and fairly plain, I don’t have nice clothes, and I can’t put on makeup without looking like a clown - but the actual community aspect of a sorority is basically what I’ve spent my whole life wishing I could have. A few weeks ago, I did a little bit of research into the sororities available - my favorite was Alpha Delta Pi - but sort of shrugged it off, figuring I’d never get a bid anyway.
Last night, after the last showing of our spring musical, an ADPi alumnus approached me. She had found out that I was going to her alma mater, and asked me about whether I would be going Greek. I basically just stared at her in shock and said that I didn’t think so, but that I was open to it - mainly just a diplomatic answer since I figured it was just a random question that I didn’t have an actual response for. She offered to write me a recommendation letter, which from what I can tell, would really boost my chances. I really have no idea what to do now; I doubt my parents would be thrilled if I decided to rush, and I’m scared that I’ll just end up embarrassing myself if I try, but there’s a definite part of me that really wants to go Greek.
So, CC, I ask of you - to rush or no? Any advice is appreciated!
In today’s society there are LOADS of stereotypes about sororities. But not every sorority is like that (yes there are some that are and its sad)! But don’t let the stereotype break you down! Rush for a multicultual sorority! Everyone is different and you dont have to worry about “trying to fit in.” Research what different sororites stand for and go out to different rush events so you can see how you like the girls but even then you don’t HAVE to choose a sorority at your school. You can bring an existing sorority to your campus and start a chapter there. It takes work but its for sure better than just settling for a sorority thats there.
In my opinion, you should rush! If you dont then you will have a big What If in the back of your mind.
Everyone seems to think of Animal House every time thoughts of fraternities and sororities come to mind. But they don’t stop to think that these can be as different as night and day in the environment they provide. Frats and sororities can mold friendships that continue long after college and can prove advantageous in many instances. But one of the problems they have is misplaced loyalty in the form of supplying test answers and previously submitted papers that most professors can spot immediately with the use of anti-plagiarism software, etc. Students would be wise to do their own work along with guidelines easily found online. But make sure such sources are reputable. I’d suggest looking at sites like Write My Paper (http://www.writemypaper.net/?r=10). There’s loads of info there.
It usually doesn’t cost much to Rush, and there is no commitment except your time. You can learn about the houses and they will learn about you.
Do not, however, get your heart set on one house. The recommendations are nice, but they are not an invitation. I don’t know how long ago this alum went there, but the girls in the house now are not the girls in the house when she went there. You should also try to get recommendations for the other houses at this school. You’d be surprised how many women you know were in sororities, how many of them would be happy to write a recommendation. If you can’t find any, you can call the Panhell organization in your town and they will match you with alums. Some will just have you fill out a form, others will call and talk to you, others will want to meet with you.
You should wear appropriate clothing that is nice and neat. Some schools give everyone a tshirt and then you wear it with shorts or jeans to take the fashion show competition out of it. Not all houses are looking for Barbies, but care more about your personality, your interests, your activities. Have fun doing it. If you aren’t having fun, don’t join.
I can’t think of a single good reason not to rush. Maybe on your campus you’ll find no house that feels right and you won’t end up joining, but to not even rush is foolish.
You should go for it. I was never the “sorority type” myself, but I never for a moment regretted rushing and being a college or alumna member. I was (and probably still am) socially awkward and no fashion plate. I actually learned a lot of these skills from my sisters. We had yearly workshops in how to talk to potential new members at rush - I use many of those tricks at cocktail parties still today!
For me, the sense of belonging, the memberships on various committees or task groups (organize the leadership retreat, plan the scholarship dinner, make care packages for finals week…) and taking on leadership positions were really significant for making me feel like I belonged at my college, and like I had a community beyond just my few close friends. Mandatory chapter meetings and committee meetings got me out of my room and out of my books - and I didn’t have to feel awkward or be all up in my head about whether they liked me. We were a team.
There are a whole lot of schools where the sorority life is far deeper than a “mean girls” cliche. The majority of chapters, and the majority of members, are looking for people who want to contribute to the group - not just look the part. If you rush at your school and find they aren’t nice people - then you really didn’t want to join anyway.
And having an alumna recommendation should give you some confidence going in to rush. It means they are primed to get to know you beyond the superficial - I expect she will write about your amazing performance in the musical! Best wishes to you in your journey!
Yeah. I think not looking at the houses and seeing if any appeals to you is foolish. Like I said, I completely respect the decision not to join but not rushing just seems like ruling out a potentially great opportunity on the basis of nothing.
Nah, that comment is still just foolish. If not rushing is foolish, then not joining every club on campus is foolish and not visiting every college in the world is foolish. You can say it is on the basis of nothing. If someone doesn’t want that to be part of their experience (not the OP) then they are not a fool.
How about we switch your comment a little bit:
“Like I said, I completely respect the decision not to attend but not applying to every college in the world seems like ruling out a potentially great opportunity on the basis of nothing.”
Rushing is not for everyone. Being in a sorority is not for everyone. Maybe someone doesn’t want to be hazed. Maybe someone doesn’t wanna be a groupie. Maybe someone doesn’t wanna take away from their studies to join something entirely option. That doesn’t make them or their decision foolish. Arguing that not rushing is foolish shows a lack of sense and judgement.
I think you’re taking their comment the wrong way. I don’t want to speak for anyone else, but I interpreted it as saying “If you’re interested in joining a sorority (or at least seeing what they’re all about), then there’s no harm in rushing,” not “every single student should rush or they’re an idiot.” If the OP finds that it’s not for them, then they can stop at any point. If they find out they really are interested, then they can keep going. But that really is the best way to find out.
It would be like if a student really wanted to go to a particular college but wasn’t sure if they would fit in. Well, there’s no harm in visiting. Or if the student wasn’t sure that they were exactly what the college wanted or were worried that they wouldn’t get in. Well, there’s no harm in applying. Or it’s like if someone really wanted a job but they were worried that they didn’t think they met the exact qualifications or they didn’t think they were what the company was looking for or they were worried that they wouldn’t get the job. There’s no harm in applying.
I’m not a fan of Greek life, but I still say rush. If you’re interested in joining a sorority, then go see if it’s really for you. I had a roommate who really loved the idea of sisterhood and community, but after going to a couple of events, quickly realized that it wasn’t for her. I had other friends who really loved Greek life. But you never really know, unless you try.
Of course Greek life isn’t for everyone. And even if Greek Life at school A is a great fit, it may be completely different at school B. Many or Most students aren’t interested, and they have many other options for community and social life.
But the OP is thinking it MIGHT be for her. So in that case, to eliminate the opportunity by not rushing would be “foolish”. Wanna Be Brown was encouraging her to go ahead with the intended way to learn more, by participating in rush.
I was speaking beyond the OP to an extent. If you’ve had enough experience with greek life on your college campus prior to rush to make an **informed decision/b then by all means don’t rush. That’s not why most students don’t rush though. They don’t rush because their parents don’t like “greek life” or they see all the negative things on CC or they’ve watched a couple movies/TV shows and decided that that must be what their college’s greek scene is like.
I mean look at what the OP wrote as to why she was 2nd guessing whether she should rush. Again, not join, but just rush!
I have no idea what school OP is attending in the fall. Maybe her assessment of the system there is entirely right,(although it sounds like the more she actually learns about them, the more interested she is). It sure doesn’t sound like her initial opinions on Greek life are based on anything real. She can rush and she will find out whether or not greek life on her campus is what she wants or not.
Rushing requires far less effort than applying to colleges or joining a club so to equate them is foolish. At Brown we have a night where all the student groups man tables at the gym. At no other point in the year will every student group be in one location with multiple members and leadership present to answer questions about what the group is actually like. This is essentially a mini rush for all the student groups at Brown. I think it would be foolish for a Brown student to not go to that, walk around, talk to the groups that pique your interest, and see what other clubs are out there that you might not have thought you wanted to join. The greek organizations at any given campus are a finite, distinct set of organizations. To write off greek life on your campus without spending a single moment interacting with those discrete organizations is foolish. Rushingis for everyone. In fact if you’ve taken the time to learn about the greek orgs on your campus prior to the formalized rush, you still rushed. You just did it informally prior to the organized rush.
When I was starting my freshman year at UT-Austin, a woman offered to sponsor me for a sorority. I figured out that what was attractive about me was my potential high GPA. I didn’t want to be the token smart person, so I declined. My freshman roommate was a Chi Omega pledge. Seeing what she went through (painting paddles, for example) convinced me I’d made the right decision. But I’m sure not all sororities are like that.
Thanks a lot, you guys! You’ve really gotten my confidence up for this. Still kind of terrified, but I have a few months to prepare myself, at least. I think I’d like to at least rush, even if I don’'t get a bid; I guess the struggle will be convincing my parents to fly me down early. If they remain against Greek life, I guess I’ll wait for Spring Recruitment or until my sophomore year. Thank you all!
In a million years, I did not expect my son go go greek, but after one semester, he was talked into going to a few rush functions and liked it. The experience has been nothing but positive as his particular organization is heavily focused on grades and service and to be honest, he kind of needed that. Without it, he was kind of falling into some very bad habits of putting studies last and playing too much, but the organization has pushed him back on track. I say this because A. I don’t think there is a ‘type’ to go greek…it can be anyone. and B. Stereotypes don’t fit every organization at every school…They are not all partiers 24/7.
socially awkward and no fashion plate. I actually learned a lot of these skills from my sisters. We had yearly workshops in how to talk to potential new members at rush - I use many of those tricks at cocktail parties still today!