<p>So I'm one of those people with a suffocatingly heavy filter, so like all sane people, I'll blurt everything out to the internet instead of friends. This has to do with 'family issues' (don't run yet) so bear with me</p>
<ul>
<li>incarcerated mum in foreign country (we write letters haha, no carrier pigeon though)</li>
<li>deceased father (gang related)</li>
<li>mentally disabled older brother (surgery with lasting side affects, so I deal with family issues like those annoying gov't letters, taxes, lawyer stuff, etc)</li>
</ul>
<p>I'm living with my aunt who speaks about 20 words of english, so that's why I do most of the stuff issues noted above. Our lives fell apart when my dad left and half of the people we interact with now are lawyers :P. Income is from interest and rent. </p>
<p>I have one single friend who knows about 70% of this, but everyone else, I'm just that quiet kid. This has been such a big part of my life, but it seems terribly uncomfortable and embarrassing to blurt it out to my counsellor in my senior year, you know? I definitely won't turn my essays into sob stories though (I don't exactly enjoy reading them much less admissions) so I though having it mentioned in my gc's rec letter would be a nice compromise. But god, the awkwardness/randomness. </p>
<p>So thoughts how to approach it? Or maybe just continue keeping it in the dark? </p>
<p>My initial thought is this sounds like it involves the pharmaceutical import/export business, so you might not want to bring it up, but if it totally does not involve you, it’s possible that it would be okay to talk with your GC about it. However, if there are ongoing legal issues, I’d certainly talk with your lawyers before disclosing anything to outside parties. If you get their clearance, then have a talk with your GC and see how they’d like to handle it.</p>
<p>See if your school has a counselor/psychologist. We have one that comes by every Thursday and I’ve talked to him a few times since my dad passed away. </p>
<p>If you deal with lawyers on a regular basis, and haven’t been put in foster care yet, then I don’t think you have anything legal to worry about, since anything that would’ve been problematic would already have put you in trouble, if you had anything to worry about. I think definitely mention it to your counselor, especially the part about how you live with your aunt and have to take charge of everything yourself. </p>
<p>On the application, you already have to anyway list your guardian, who you won’t list as your mom but rather your aunt. So adding and telling your guidance counselor that she doesn’t speak English so you have to be in charge of everything won’t hurt and will only help make your performance in school that much more amazing. I saw an example counselor recommendation that talked about a girl’s family life and how she was poor and helped cook and clean and did 30+ hours of work a week yet was a leader and top student who did research. So yes, I think your guidance counselor mentioning your family situation will put your accomplishments into better context than just school context alone, and comparing you to your classmates. </p>
<p>I absolutely think you need to tell your guidance counselor – because for many colleges, the readers really look to the guidance counselor letter to learn “unique” things about students, things that might help explain anything or also set the applicant apart from others. I applaud you for being “quiet” about your family stuff, but what you are dealing with, and it sounds like you are dealing with it in a mature way, is way beyond what the typical high school student manages in their life. Way more than my son, who can’t seem to pick his clothes up off his bedroom floor. Be up-front with the guidance counselor – something like “I haven’t told you about what is going on in my personal life because I don’t want to sound like a sob story, but I have been told that it may be important to be mentioned in your letter to my potential colleges.” Or something like that. This way the counselor knows upfront you aren’t seeking advice, or a pat on the back, but that you want this information to be included in your letter (obviously not specifics). I do not think a college is going to hold parental arrests against a potential student, but your guidance counselor will know better how much/what info to share.</p>