should i tell colleges about this??

Parents Forum
1

<p>i'm posting this on here because a lot of parents have experience in the college application process (and maybe some parents have children who have the same problem as me)</p>

<p>my junior year, i realized that my mental health problems were quite severe. i've never tried to commit suicide or anything, but there are some things i just couldn't control, and it affected my school work.</p>

<p>first i'm gonna talk about how it affected my grades and EC's. </p>

<p>ninth and tenth grade years were great: i got all a's, i started doing cancer research, i was involved in my school and community (i had my problems, but everything was quietly under control)</p>

<p>but then junior year happened. i took too many ap's, did too much after school, had a really bad relationship, all contributing to my like final breaking point
i got c's in two of my classes, and my EC's were almost nonexistent (starting from the month of january)</p>

<p>i've posted about this before, and i haven't really gotten a lot of answers, and i think it's because i wasn't detailed enough. since this is anon, i'll say what my problems are, and hopefully that will help people judge whether or not i should inform colleges about them.</p>

<p>i have really bad ocd. it mostly manifests in the form of irrational fears (basically i'm afraid of being punished if i think the wrong thing). it's always been that way, but after my horrible bf, and the amount of stress i was under, i just snapped and started hearing voices. </p>

<p>they are not schizophrenic voices (i see a therapist and doctor who have both assured me it's not that). apparently, it's not unheard of for ocd people to have symptoms similar to psychosis. anyways, i was also really depressed, and that lead to self cutting (not in the interest of suicide, but it made my mind feel less chaotic. it is stupid; i know that).</p>

<p>i was thinking about writing an essay to inform colleges (but i will almost definitely leave out the self harm part).</p>

<p>i promise that i'm not looking for sympathy, but with everything that happened, i really need to know if it's okay to tell colleges. i feel like it's only fair if i could explain myself.</p>

2

<p>Hey clem – I know you want to be forthcoming and honest and I hope and wish there is a school who will read your essays and welcome you with open arms BUT I think schools now are very very concerned about admitting anyone who might ultimately harm themselves (or others – not that you would do that) because they are potentially liable if a student ends up being hurt on their campus.</p>

<p>A sister of my daughter’s best friend landed on campus as a freshman 4 weeks ago, and is already booted out because: she was found, drunk, crying, by campus police, and she claimed she was upset because someone stole her phone (which hadn’t happened so that was like a false police report) then 2 days later, she was caught on videotape (presumably dorm security videos) wailing on her boyfriend, hitting him non-stop.</p>

<p>The schools said enough. I think the violence was more scary to them than the false “stolen iPhone” report.</p>

<p>Question: do you have a good therapist you can be this honest to? Because sometimes being totally honest and up front (like to a college) is not going to have the best outcome. </p>

<p>Being honest about what you feel is absolutely necessary, but to the right person.</p>

<p>And if my daughter’s experience is anything to go by, I would say this very strongly – consider taking a year off. If you have OCD now, it might get worse living away from home. I don’t know anyone who has said it gets better at college. Please consider this as an option. You need to get stable and heal before taking on all the changes that college involves.</p>

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<p>** i just want to add that the voices only ever concern myself. and i would NEVER hurt anyone, like at all. but the voices just reiterate how i feel about myself. it’s kinda obvious that they’re ocd voices, because they deal with self criticism exclusively, and they have really diminished. ***</p>

<p>@classof2015: well, i do have a therapist who i discuss basically everything with, so no worries there. but i’m not sure that i can ask her about what colleges will think, because that doesn’t seem like her area of knowledge. </p>

<p>i told her i was slightly worried about college, and she said i would be way better by the time i leave. and i am definitely not taking a year off, lol sorry… but i cannot stand being near my parents anymore. it’s actually depressing me. plus i can’t wait for college! i think that i’ll be ten times happier, with a fresh start, around new people.</p>

<p>but you do not think i should mention anything about my mental health? just trying to be clear.</p>

4

<p>If your HS and college counselor there know about your mental health issues, you can speak with the counselor about how to approach any of these issues in connection with your college apps. It might be good to sound out if your therapist has any experience with patients applying to college and what has been good for those students.</p>

5

<p>Hmm…thanks for the clarification (sorry if I missed that on first read). </p>

<p>I don’t know the answer to that (disclosing mental health issues). How is your GC? Do they have any special insight into the schools you’re applying to? Some schools are more understanding/forgiving than others. I think if you write about it as something in the past that you now understand and are in control of, it’s ok, whereas if it’s something that still overwhelms you, it might be off putting.</p>

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<p>me again</p>

<p>if you’re a senior, you can PM me your essay and I’ll give you honest feedback. And you might want to do an upbeat essay then a more serious supplement.</p>

<p>I’m a mom with a college junior and HS senior (but his essay is done so now I’m like the working mom with time on her hands :))</p>

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<p>Clementines2016, a question for you: what strategy/treatment is your therapist using? It’s extremely important to find a person who can not only listen to your concerns but to direct you towards the effective type of treatment. It sounds to me like you might be experiencing what is called “pure O” where both your obsessions and compulsions are inside your head, invisible to the outsiders, that’s why the name which is actually a misnomer. </p>

<p>I have OCD too and I think ERP and ACT therapies are both worthwhile looking into and reading up on and possibly finding a therapist who is familiar with these methodologies.</p>

<p>OCD is a life long condition and the earlier you gain the most knowledge and understanding of it, the better you’ll be able to handle it and manage it throughout all life’s ups and downs which are pretty much guaranteed.</p>

<p>You should definitely research to see which schools are more accepting and understanding of students with mental health issues. </p>

<p>I would think commuting for the first year or first semester might be a nice transitional compromise if that’s at all possible just to see how you deal with the college challenges or at least choosing a school that is fairly close to home. On the other hand, if you select a school with good support systems and are able to find the treatment that seems to work well, it might not be necessary. I am generally a very cautious type of person and tend to go for the least “risky” options which don’t always turn out to be the best in the long run but it all depends… </p>

<p>Check out these links:</p>

<p><a href=“http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Find_Support/NAMI_on_Campus1/NAMI_Survey_on_College_Students/collegereport.pdf[/url]”>http://www.nami.org/Content/NavigationMenu/Find_Support/NAMI_on_Campus1/NAMI_Survey_on_College_Students/collegereport.pdf&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>[Choosing</a> a College When Mental Health Is an Issue | Psychology Today](<a href=“http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/triggered/201304/choosing-college-when-mental-health-is-issue]Choosing”>http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/triggered/201304/choosing-college-when-mental-health-is-issue)</p>

<p>[International</a> OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) Foundation - Expert Opinion: What is ACT?](<a href=“International OCD Foundation | Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD)”>International OCD Foundation | Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD))</p>

<p>Emily.</p>

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<p>thanks to everyone!</p>

<p>but uh i am definitely not delaying college or commuting… just no. i cannot wait to go to college… and far away</p>

<p>i really just want to know if i should mention my mental health problems to colleges, in order to explain my c’s. i mean, my gpa is still in the top 10, and i have a 2250 on the sat, so i’m not just gonna waste doing all that. don’t all colleges have mental health counselors?</p>

<p>@classof2015, as soon as i finish, i’ll pm you the essay! thanks!</p>

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<p>Some Us are more supportive of special needs than others. Apparently someone posted an article about some Us particularly supportive of folks with mental health needs also. Is there a reason you don’t want to speak about this with your HS counselor and see what s/he recommends?</p>

<p>Our kids had chronic health issues thru HS. The HS counselor offered to write something about it in a positive way in his letter of recommendation for each of them. </p>

<p>What does your therapist think of your readiness to go far away from home and jump straight into college far away? Not all counselors and therapists are equal and you’ll likely benefit from being able to have continued services, especially when you hit some of the inevitable bumps of college.</p>

<p>Deferring college to get your mental health under optimal control won’t waste what you’ve achieved, but rushing into a situation where you won’t have adequate support can be a risky situation.</p>

10

<p>Clem, to be honest, your plan could backfire. You might explain your Cs… but you also might make the college have second thoughts about admitting you due to mental health issues. If I were you I would ONLY ask your GC to state that you had health issues in junior year that affected your grades and ECs. Do not give the GC permission to disclose more, tell them specifically that you would prefer that they not do so.</p>

<p>Also, you should think hard about whether you want a high pressure college environment. I suspect you should look for a place where your stats are strong and you can succeed without a huge amount of pressure. You can still get a good education, do well, and stay balanced while in college. I also agree that maybe staying a little closer to home is a good idea. College is as far away as you and your parents agree to make it… I went to college only 45 minutes from home, but did not see my parents at all except at major school breaks (Tgiving, winter break, spring break, summer). I might as well have been several hundred miles away. Just something to keep in mind.</p>

<p>Are you taking any medication for your issues?</p>

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<p>I’ve learned a lot on this thread (thanks Emily for all the therapy info) that can help my daughter who is going through a lot of the same issues now (OCD, ADD, insomnia, troubled thinking, racing thoughts, can’t turn her brain off) in her junior year at college.</p>

<p>There is so much help out there and so many ways to go through life (and college). I think it’s really healthy to say I’m having trouble coping or this is not working for me. Pretending things are fine doesn’t make them so.</p>

<p>clem – I look forward to reading your essays!</p>

12

<p>Ideally, your guidance counselor would mention that your grades junior year were affected by a long-term illness (no more specific than that), and that you are back on your normal high-achieving track. (This assumes your GC knows the situation and is willing to do this, and that you are, in fact, once again performing at a high level in school.) Whenever there is any kind of an “excuse” for poor grades, a confirmation from a third party will be far more meaningful than an explanation by the applicant, which may or may not be seen as credible. Any while it may not seem fair, the truth is that if you disclose any more details your condition, your admissions chances will be adversely affected.</p>

<p>Beyond that, I concur with other posters that it would be a gigantic mistake to go away to college until your symptoms are well managed.</p>

13

<p>okay, so i’ll ask my gc to mention a long term illness, and nothing more. that’s actually such a good idea, and i’m like an idiot for not coming up with it lol but thanks!! (i’ve been hesitant to mention anything to my gc because i’m really afraid of ridicule. i know that won’t happen, but i hate having to tell people that i’m abnormal LOL)</p>

<p>and i’m not going to change my mind about going far away for college. i need to move far away. yes, i take medication, and i’m really improving. i think my symptoms are well managed- i can go to school, study for tests, do hw, talk to my friends… i can do all those things again. stress will definitely put a strain on my stability, but i can always seek therapy in college, if i need it. but i’m really trying to move forward with my life, and i don’t want to take medication anymore. </p>

<p>i’m not going to limit my choice of colleges, either. if i get into schools that are good for my future aspirations, then i’ll go without a second thought to my mental health. maybe that sounds really bad, but if i’m gonna feel better, i have to stop being a victim.</p>

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<p>Honestly… I can’t think of a much worse plan in your situation than going far away to a high stress college and stopping your medication. It is not “being a victim” to treat your illness with medication if needed. Your brain can have illnesses just like any other organ (kidney, lungs, etc.). If your medication is working, stick with it. You really don’t want the consequences in your life of yo-yoing on and off medication. It is a very immature attitude to just think you can march off, give up your medication and support system, and assume everything will be fine. Part of being an adult is ignoring what others think and making sure you take care of what you need to in order to stay healthy, both physically and mentally. Wishing you didn’t have these issues will not make them go away. Your future aspirations will be seriously at risk if you relapse because you didn’t take your illness into account or assumed you could just ignore it. Figure out a way to do both – continue with solid treatment and support, and move forward with your education.</p>

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<p>ughhhh! oy vey!! LOL</p>

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</p>

<p>okay so i’ll go to a competitive college, far away, and continue my treatment, as needed. but it’s so difficult to live your life dependent on something like medication or therapy, and i can tell that i’m in a place to start challenging myself. i don’t want to hold myself back, because that will make me so depressed- knowing that my own mind kept me from doing what i want in life. i’ll cover all the bases with my therapist. but my parents are really against taking medication. it has its place, but it just makes me sleepy and moody and i’m never hungry… plus, the kind that i’m taking has sedative effects. i’m a zombie, half the time. (i’ll discuss this all my with psychiatrist, i promise)</p>

<p>it’s really nice that you’re taking time to express your concern, but i’m really okay lol</p>

<p>at least i have my answer now :)</p>

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<p>It is a lot harder to live with untreated OCD and hearing voices… just saying, don’t let wishful thinking get you into trouble.</p>

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<p>You should really, really listen to the honest advice you’re getting from intparent.</p>

<p>You should also ask your therapist and your doctor whether they think going a long way away for college, discontinuing therapy and discontinuing your medicine sounds like a plan.</p>

<p>Discuss the side effects of your medicine with both your therapist and your doctor. But don’t just decide for yourself to stop taking it without taking to them.</p>

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<p>Most counselors need at least a note from an MD (your family doc will do) that you had some long term illness that you overcame which affected your grades if you want your counselor to indicate this. </p>

<p>Agree with intparent. You need to tell your psychiatrist about your side effects from your meds now and work to get them fine tuned so you can get max benefits and few or no side effects. Quitting therapy and meds when you are facing major life changes is a recipe for a really bad time. Talk this over with your therapist and psychiatrist. Agree that many students live near home but don’t see family except on major breaks that student chooses. It can provide an important safety net and support, making the transition to college MUCH smoother.</p>

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<p>Completely agree with intparent, very well said.</p>

<p>I am not on medications and it’s certainly quite possible, I also know some people with OCD whose condition was actually made worse my medications BUT they really invested a lot of time into educating themselves about the condition and made every effort possible to find the therapy approach that works for them.</p>

<p>My impression is that OP is not ready yet (probably due to her young age) to deal with all the complexity of OCD and to make the necessary changes/adjustments so I don’t think any amount of persuasion on our part will do anything until she herself is ready.</p>

<p>Classof2015, you are welcome and please don’t hesitate to PM me if you have any questions at all.</p>

<p>Emily.</p>

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<p>Other people are addressing the health concerns. Let me voice an opinion about your original question. No, I would not think this is a good topic for your application essay. Universities can’t consider disabilities when making admissions decisions. They can’ teen ask about them, so you will have raised no issues that demand an explanation.</p>