Hi, so I just transferred from Mount Holyoke to College of William and Mary. However I’ve already found that I don’t like it here even though academically it is better (one of my original reasons for transferring). I’ve found the dorms shitty, the people unapproachable and not willing to talk/make friends, the classes are ok but I feel so uninspired and I’ve also recently felt like I don’t want to eat or do anything with my time here. I keep comparing the two colleges and I don’t know if I should go back to my original college because it seems better in hindsight and I have amazing friends there or if I should just continue to try this for a semester? Any thoughts?
Dorms are dorms, and never a reason to transfer- chalk it up to the difference between a public and a private university (and not doing enough homework in advance ;-)).
But this:
is simply not true of 100% of the student body. It may not be the same small community feel that MHC had- and you are not coming in as a first year, where a) everybody is new and b) the school is knocking themselves out to help students integrate. But I know students in every year at W&M who are lovely, approachable and friendly. It is just harder to start new when there aren’t many new people: people have their friend groups and their patterns and you have to knit yourself into them.
Of course MHC looks better right now: you know how everything works, you know where things are and you know people. You have been @ W&M for about 15 minutes, and you don’t know where the bathrooms are in your classroom buildings, you still mix up how to get places, you haven’t got the hang of the food system, and you look around and see everybody moving around in happy groups, with people to eat with, and things to do. Not hard to see the attraction of the familiar.
But- if you work at it, you will find your friends very quickly. Easy step 1: approach people after class and introduce yourself, say you are new and ask a question: is the food better at campus spot a or b? do they know anything about this professor? is this class part of their major? anything to break the ice. Easy step 2: to sign up for anything / something that looks halfway interesting (the clubs fair should have just happened / be about to happen). You can drop the ones that don’t catch your fancy- but it’s a start. I don’t know if it’s your cup of tea, but I know two or three students in Kappa Delta (a service-oriented sorority), who have made me re-think my views on sororities.
It’s a big deal to leave one place for another. Second thoughts are natural. But you are clearly smart, or you wouldn’t have gotten into either college, and you are clearly motivated or you would not have done the hard work of the transfer process. Trust yourself, and give it a little time.
You need to give the new school some adjustment time. Why did you decide to transfer?
@collegemom3717 I know what you mean about the dorms. I hadn’t thought much about them when I was transferring because I was more worried about the roommate since I had a horrible experience first year. However, when I got here (I’m in a suite with shared bathroom) there have been all kinds of problems from bug infestations to broken bathroom stuff. It’s just made me feel very uncomfortable and has only added more stress on me, so that’s what I meant. Also I’m sure the people part is not 100% true but when I try to talk to people, I get ignored a lot or just given weird looks and one word answers. It’s just tough I guess especially when I made my best friends last year.
I’m going to continue to try but I also feel like I was pressured a bit by my parents to change schools since they didn’t really like Mt Holyoke and that’s like 60% of why I’m here. I changed my mind a lot over the summer but I was never really confident in my decision to come to W&M.
@DrGoogle My original reasons to transfer schools (back in December/Jan/Feb) was because I didn’t find MHC academically motivating, the all women’s aspect was hard to adjust to as was the overall environment in such an isolated area and the social life was pretty dismal (had to go off campus to even have one). However by the time I finished up with classes in May, I was pretty sure I would be returning because I had overloaded on my classes to have more to work for and had been going off campus with a friend a lot to get a good social life. So it didn’t end on a miserable note basically.
Can you back to amount Holyoke? If yes go back. If not you need to tough it out for at least a year. There are problems everywhere. You need to not let your parents influence your decision and good luck with your decision.
The grass may seem greener now at your old school, but if you were there, you might still be unhappy (feeling unchallenged, etc.) Realize that nothing is ever going to be perfect.
You need to give W&M more time, at least the semester, if not the full year. It takes a while to meet people as a transfer, especially if you went in not knowing anyone. Join some clubs, volunteer, and/or get a job. That should help. Possibly you’d be interested in trying to rush. If you are still miserable come the application deadline time fall 2016 admission at your old school, then go ahead and transfer back.
Regarding the bugs and broken bathroom fixtures, that is unfortunate, but can happen anywhere. But it is fixable. Find out the proper procedure for putting in a work order to get the bathroom stuff fixed and to get your suite treated by an exterminator.
Regarding the not feeling like eating or doing anything, it sounds like you are just overwhelmed with the change. However, I think you should consider going to the counseling center to rule out depression.