To write a sob story or not?

Hey I’m asking for some external opinions on a dilemma I’ve been having. I’m writing my essays for college now and I don’t know whether or not I should write about one of the most difficult hardships of my life - my parents fighting every single day and turning those fights on me, stressing me psychologically. The point is, I’ve overcome this stress personally and have come out strong, but one of its aspects is that I did it on my own without any help; I haven’t told anyone and I’m telling u this anonymously. My problem is, I know that many people write about their difficult situations on their essays, essays that occasionally grant them admission, and I don’t know if should write about my problem or whether a well-written essay on something else will give me equal chances. I know there must be plenty of kids who get rejected who might have been accepted had they revealed a personnal problem, so i don’t know what to do.

I would not. The purpose of the essay is to make them want you on campus. Personal problems don’t usually help your admissions, either. Save deeply personal problems for a therapist or diary. Don’t take the prompts super literally – brainstorm more ideas.

All parents fight and stress out their kids.

The essays that score on this are the ones where there is extreme hardship (e.g., homelessness; raising 3 younger sibs while single parent works as a hotel maid; caring for a parent dying of cancer). Situations where the student had to step up and take the role of the adult.

AdComms are not the Fairy Godmother to make up for a rotten childhood. I don’t see how your being stressed out forced you to take an adult role.

Thank you for the honest replies; i don’t think ill write about it; i would be a hypocrite if i did

I agree…the purpose of the essay is 1) for them to get to know more about you 2) For you to interest them in you 3) To see how you write.

So I would not pick this topic because the college may think “Does this kid have PTSD after all this?” or “will the family situation be stable enough for the student to do well?”

You want to be “interesting” to the college…what is interesting about you?

I don’t think it makes you a hypocrite. I just don’t think you want the ad-com tagging & remembering you as “kid whose parents fight and stress him out” when they are pitching you to the admissions committee.

The golden nugget of your post is NOT the undisclosed family drama but your observation “I did it on my own without any help.” Base your statement in the details of your parents’ conflict, but make the point about your mature self-reliance, shrugging off victimhood, and learning how to pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Connect this with how you want to spend the next four years. I disagree with you that- as a universal rule- revealing “personal” problems helps gain admission, but in your case I can see it working.

Here is an example of an essay addressing something you have overcome:
http://www.collegeconfidential.com/sample-college-essays-6/

It shows how the person has grown and what they have to offer now.

I know that can be very hard on kids, but it’s kinda life. Most kids have parents that fight at one time or another. It’s not really a sob story as again family tension is pretty normal.

Agree with the others, and you should find a different topic. However, if you are a skillful writer, it is possible to make it work. You seem to be focussing on this because it is so dominant in your life right now. What are YOUR interests though? How would you describe you to a stranger? Answer those questions, and you will have the bones of an essay.

Again, thanks a lot for the honest replies. I’ll write my essay on other prominent aspects of my life.