I do also believe some double standards are going on. Dad doesn’t realize that graduating so high in her class means she has the academic chops. Have not heard what mother has said about opportunities for DD. Is father the decision maker alone? Did brothers graduate as high in HS, and was there something they did that is influencing dad?
Have you proposed the deals discussed on this thread to mom and dad?
I do not have good vibes about going to CC under the circumstances discussed (doesn’t sound like there is a financial reason behind dad’s decision; I fear he will decide not to offer anything for UT after 2 year CC).
Is there anything else going on that would shed light into dad’s plan - like a close friend’s daughter that went wild away at UT for example.
Is there a 4 year college within commuting distance?
Mom2K’s idea is a good one. Would they agree to that?
I’m afraid the 10K loan is what outside of Texas is called a “State grant”. :s
Are there scholarships you can compete for?
Also, do investigate ASAP whether UT has single-sex dorms or (perhaps more important to your dad), “Healthy lifestyle”/“substance-free” dorms, meaning that anyone with alcohol or any other substance is kicked out of the dorm, period. It makes for quiet dorms that are good for studious students.
I do notice that the boys got to go away to college, even if they didn’t do too well. Either your father thinks boys are more mature (if so, there’s a boatload of research showing the reverse is true) or he feels burnt by their problems and thinks he’s protecting you, except you’re not your brothers, clearly.
My brothers went to CC as well but they got a certain scholarship that I did not receive. The scholarship has a deal with our local CC that lets them go there for 2 years free and then the scholarship pays 7000 a year for whatever 4 year they want to go to for the next 3 years so 5 years of school total. The brother who plays football was 19 in his class. So I was the highest ranked out of all 3 of us. My mother wants me to go off to a 4 year but since she doesn’t make majority of the money therefore it’s what my father is willing to pay.
“According to graduation statistics provided by Austin Community College, 4 percent of full-time students entering the college receive a certificate or degree by the end of four years. Earning an associate’s degree is expected to take two. According to UT, 52 percent of students entering the University graduate with a bachelor’s degree by the end of four years.”
Your father needs to understand that you are possibly walking away from a 4 year degree.
How long have your brothers been out of high school? Have they earned their 4 - year degrees?
Delaying graduation costs money in lost wages. You are a bright young woman. Talk to your mother and look into substance free housing options. Do you have a family friend or religious figure who can speak to your father?
The oldest one has been in college since 2011 and the one that plays football is ahead because he took dual credit classes while in high school so he got his associates in a year and half
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My mother wants me to go off to a 4 year but since she doesn’t make majority of the money therefore it’s what my father is willing to pay.
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I realize that every family has their own ways of doing things, but I haven’t seen an intact family in recent years, especially when mom and dad both work) where the “higher earner” gets “more say” (that kind of thing went out of style decades ago).
Very likely, your mom more than compensates for her “lesser income” by doing more things around the house. Unless you’ve actually heard your parents say that “dad gets more say because he earns more,” I wouldn’t assume that that is the case.
The way that both my parents act makes me believe that in this situation. In others my mother has a strong voice, but my father just doesn’t take in count because it’s me. She’s the one that says that he doesn’t want me to go because I am the baby girl. She told me to take out loans and get out of here if that’s what I want to do.
Is your father nervous about UT and Austin? Would he be more comfortable if you were to attend a school with religious roots or one that he perceives to be more conservative?
You can’t afford to go to a 4 years school without your parents financial support. If you were low income, it might be possible but that is not the case.
Post your SAT/ACT scores. There might be some full ride options you can pursue if you take a gap year and work.
I got an 18 on my ACT and 1440 on SAT I know they’re bad scores for me to be so high up. Test are not my thing. I’m not sure what he’s afraid of. It’s not that he’s old fashioned I’m not really sure what it is. Going to a religious school won’t change his mind if it’s not free or close by as in down the street.
Do your research: can you take the classes you need at this CC? Are there 10 classes (5 per semester) you can take that will fulfill a gen ed requirement or a major pre-req?
Research, then bring up quiet dorms, “healthy living” living-learning community, etc.
Going to CC first could seriously jeopardize his plans for you if he really wants you to get into the health professions field - look into PAs, it’s one of the fastest-growing professions in the country, it pays well, and it’s science-related. https://www.aapa.org/landingquestion.aspx?id=290
However, many grad programs in health frown on community college classes.
Yes, 18/1440 is not good, but your grades and rank prove you’re a good student.
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She told me to take out loans and get out of here if that’s what I want to do.
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does your mom understand that SHE would have to co-sign those loans? What would your dad say about that?
Believe me, I am not suggesting that you should take out those loans…it’s just too much. Does your mom really understand debt and money?
I don’t think that @ashtonn should be pushed into a career that requires standardized testing (such as PA school). Unless there’s some odd change, there’s no way she’d get a GRE score high enough for PA school.
I don’t think he’s concerned about dorms. Boys yes, but he knows that they’re everywhere. I thought about being a PA, but have decided to aim higher in the future i.e. Doctor… With testing it’s my anxiety. If I test on a day that I’m not really worried about anything that’s when I test well, but when I go into a test and I’m actually worried about what’s going to happen, because I know it plays a big part in my future is when I start to panic while taking the test causing my brain to shut down basically. It really just depends on my mood. Normally I always worry and panic about my future though, but I’m starting to learn to just breathe and not think about what the test determines which has been helping a lot.
If I understand correctly what @ashtonm has written, both of the older brothers started at a CC, and then will continue on (or have continued on) at 4-year institutions. If that is true, then she had no reason to imagine that her father would be willing to have her start at a 4-year college or university.
Realistically her options are to follow the path her brothers have, and transfer after finishing an associates degree at the CC, or to take a gap year and apply to 4-year places where she will get in with enough merit money so as to not need help from her parents to pay for her education.
I didn’t receive the same scholarship that made my brothers go to CC. It just seems as if I’ve worked my butt off to get where I am and it’s not good enough to finally get something I want. It also seems as if you’re not #1 or an amazing athlete than getting college paid for is difficult.
There are two choices:
Bring all points to your dad after researching them - many good ideas on this thread. Use them all even if you think it won’t be enough, show you’ve thought this through and are willing to compromise on some things.
Or
Accept UT and defer. aTake, you need to talk with your parents. gap year, work, and next year apply to a variety of colleges with full ride scholarships throughout the country.
In any case
I do think that if the dad won’t agree, then ask UT for the deferral, do the gap year (take NO classes) and work/earn/save over the next year.
I think once she is working full time somewhere, dad will realize his “baby girl” has grown up.
However, dad may insist that she take a class or two at a CC. That is not allowed with a deferred admittance. You can’t go to school anywhere during the year.
You do have a 4yr university in your town? So your older brother went to CC in town on a full ride, then transferred to a 4yr university away from home (with a $7,000 scholarship) where your parents ended up paying $1,000 a month for his rent. Then something happened or it got too expensive and now your brother moved back and attends a 4yr university in your town. And pays for his own apartment? Your other brother attends your local CC on a football scholarship and then he will go to the local 4yr university also? Or will he be allowed to go away to a school playing football? Seems like your father wants all of you near. So what about the local 4yr university, I assume it would be better than the CC and your brother is finishing his degree there. Did you apply there, would the tuition be affordable since you could live at home?
Given the details about this students anxiety issues, a year off from school to work on that alone could be a very good investment. And the possibility remains that with appropriate therapy/medication/accommodations, the ACT and SAT scores could be raised into merit-aid range.