It’s down to the final days between April 10th, and many of us, including myself, are struggling with making the best choice among schools.
For me, I’m trying to decide between Exeter and MX…
So, for those who have made these seemingly burdening (options where both choices are great :))) decisions, how did you go about making them?
Thank you. 
My daughter really struggled with her choice (between Cate & Milton) a couple of years back. Together we made a list of 20 items that were important to her. For example: food, location, dorms, college matriculation, etc. Of those 20, we assigned a “top 5” - so a group of 5 at the top and then 15 others - all unranked within those two groups. THEN she gave each item a rating from 1-5 for each school. So for food, Cate scored 5 and Milton scored 1 (that was an easy one ;-)) We tallied up all of the points, giving double weight to the “top 5” items, and Cate came out on top. Meanwhile, her best friend flipped a coin between Hotchkiss & DA.
It’s not easy, and I’m going through the same thing right now with my son, although really his dilemma is deciding between staying at his day school and going to boarding. We are nowhere with this, other than slowly eliminating choices as we go along. Multiple WLs only add to the confusion.
I think that you have two excellent choices which are obviously VERY different. But keep in mind that just because they’re different, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is one “right” choice. You would most likely be happy and successful at both MX and Exeter. So try to get over that fear of regret and just go for it! Congratulations on such a wonderful outcome.
Honestly, it just comes down to your gut feeling and where you feel the most comfortable and at home. This is obviously a hug rescission, one that I personally stressed over very much. Try and imagine yourself at each of those schools. Where can you see yourself in classes, in dorms, on the field, hanging out with friends? You are going to call this place home for the next 4 years so make sure it is somewhere where you feel comfortable. Yes, academics are important. But that shouldn’t be the only deciding factor in deciding in a school. Go where YOU feel the happiest and most at home. Good luck!
I like lists and columns, and I like the idea of grouping the items you’re considering by importance to you. But on this one, really think! You may want to write yourself a letter about why these 3 or 5 things matter most. Sometimes something that seems to have been influencing you can lose its hold over you if you really think it through. If you have someone who can listen and just help you think through this (without giving you advice) and can, from time to time tell you what they think you’re saying, that can be helpful too.
I agree with @cababe97 you are choosing between very successful schools. The quality cannot be denied. You have to go with your gut and which one feels like home. You’ll get the education from either. Where will you get to “live”? Where do you feel you’ll get to be the best you? I think in this situation, it comes down to more than just stats…it comes down to comfort. Oh…and the food – let’s not forget about the food!! :)) @lusitari you’ll figure it out and you’ll be so excited with your choice! Good luck!!!
@GMC2918 Thank you for the great suggestion. I thought of something similar, but the idea of ranking with weights sounds like a better choice. In fact…I tried it just in the last few minutes and Exeter got 75 points and MX got 76. :))
To @gardenstategal 's point above, my suggestion is really designed to get you to think about what’s important to you. Definitely talk it through with someone - we found that it helped to articulate our feelings out loud. I know that it’s tough, but once you make that decision you’ll be happy with it!!!
OK. this is really unconventional advice. And it may not reveal anything, but it is a new way to look at the question…
Here is the background: zzKid is trying to decide what schools to apply to next year and did something that really gave us an interesting (and yes, not very scientific) perspective on different schools. zzKid decided to cut and paste all the reviews for each school on niche-dot-com (I don’t think I can put domain names into a cc post) into a google doc. (A different google doc for each school). Then zzKid pasted each school’s mega-review into an online wordcloud generator. (try wordclouds-dot-com). A wordcloud counts how many instances of a word appears in a text and then changes the font size based on the frequency. All in all this took zzKid less than 30 minutes, and for way more schools than 2.
I wouldn’t make an entire decision on this, but it was definitely extremely interesting to look at!
My other suggestion, which isn’t entirely helpful in the case of MX versus PEA (but still not useless), but is extremely illuminating in the case of other GLADCHEMMS schools, is to read the employee reviews for schools you are thinking about at glassdoor-dot-com. We were able to flat-out eliminate a school based on this, because there was no way we wanted zzKid at a school where employees (or: a small, but vocal sub-set) of (former/current) employees were this unhappy.
Good luck in your choice!
The word cloud idea was really interesting, although as you said, not a choice maker. :))
I also read the staff reviews and both were quite positive. What a tie. Thank you for your help!
S’s college counselor suggested making a pro list when he is done revisiting colleges. Same can apply to BS. This way you are focused on the positives of each school.
@zixzax - LOVE the idea of the Wordcloud and Glassdoor! Very clever!
Well I was just on revisit day yesterday and I had a wonderful discussion with the principle. I had told her that I am mostl likely attending Exeter but there was a part of me that wanted to go to Lawrenceville (also one of my friends attend there). She asked why and I told her that I was afraid of the workload, just like most Exeter acceptees. She told me something that made me decide on Exeter which was," We chose you for a reason. We believed that you could do it, just ask your brother. If you are afraid of hard work, then why bother applying to schools." She then told me how helpful the guidance and teachers are, the people and teachers were extremely friendly. I got pulled in to my student host’s baroness discussion in history. Overall, I felt like Exeter is the right choice, and there were many new Lowers that started last fall who told me how easy it was to adjust. After that, Exeter was a no brained for me. Hopefully this helps and good luck on your choice!
@lusitari Here are a few tricks that can sometimes help to make a hard decision:
Flip a coin. Do you want to flip it again? Make it best out of 3? Or do you feel relief that it fell the way it did? You know your answer.
There is also the classic psychological hack of pretend you are advising a friend. What would you ask your friend? What would you tell your friend?
These might now be helpful… but with a score of 76 to 75, anything is worth a shot Good luck!
I think you really can’t make a wrong decision. Its sort of like picking between silver or gold jewelry.
I would think about what you want to do (academics/sports/ECs) and see which one has more of what you are looking for. If it’s about the same, then you do have to go with your gut, and figure out where you think you belong and which community you want to be a part of. I wouldn’t shy away from Exeter because you think the academics will be harder. There are teachers who will challenge all students no matter where you are including local public high school. There will also be kids from disadvantaged backgrounds who likely haven’t had the education you have had (meaning there’s always someone worse off than you). At Exeter, (or MX) your advisor will help you take on what is right academically for you. They want to see you succeed, not get in over your head. Like I said before, you will test your mettle and work hard wherever you go. Don’t think that Exeter somehow will be out of your league academically.
Academics aside, do you feel like you will thrive in extracurricular/co-curricular activities more at one school than at the other? Do you see more opportunity to shine in your areas of interest at one school over another?
That sounds like you had a great revisit day. The principal sounds like she gave some nice words of wisdom. Congrats on making your decision. @Bunny8280
Actually…yes, that was really helpful. The good ol’ flipping the coin. I think I’m finally another few inches closer to my decision! @zixzax
You make a really good point. I guess I’m probably not going to be the most behind, and I know that other people will be in the same boat… Ahh, the leap of faith is next. I can’t let fear stop me now, I’ve made it this far. Thank you. @preppedparent
What a good question. I think both schools I would have great EC options, but I think the pro of MX would be the more intimate the EC groups. But then again, I don’t know… @lr4550
Apparently when your flipping a coin you know what you want while it’s in the air. Found that on Pinterest, only my life
I am at Exeter now. Had an amazing private convo with the head of heath and wellness. There is a major shift happening with the schedule and towards more balance. I also had a convo with the principal about her vision. She is happy to be known as the “slacker” principal, meaning that she is looking for more balance in her vision.
@lusitari You are not a slacker, are you? Well if you are, @momof3swimmers just shared some fantastic news! :))
She was trying to make light of the situation for me. I actually thought it was fantastic news. The fact that they’re going to be adding learning services for kids who learn differently but are still extremely bright took me to a place in my heart that I didn’t thank would happen at any of these top-tier schools. I Saw it completely different after that.