<p>Do you bail your kids out after they lose their merit scholarships or do you make them take out loans? DS'14 will probably have to make all A's second semester to maintain his merit scholarship next year. Seems unlikely. I am irritated because S chose state flagship where his stats were much higher than average so a 3.0 should not have been taxing. I think he has been gaming instead of studying.</p>
<p>it would depend… on 2 things…was he gaming or was he studying? If he really was studying and doing the assignments, papers etc…might be more likely to help. if gaming…too bad buddy </p>
<p>and was the gpa reasonable to maintain with the grading system used by the school? One selective program my son was accepted to required a 3.8 to remain in the program… this was a school that used +/- so a B- would only be worth 2.67…that to me was just too stressful.</p>
<p>Depends on his major, too. Is he a STEM major? Even good students who study hard can get their tails kicked GPA-wise that first year (and subsequent years).</p>
<p>First, I’m really sorry you are having to deal with the situation. Bummer. </p>
<p>Besides all the other questions already asked, I would also take into consideration whether he went to this school because you could afford it with the merit aid, or was there another school that was more affordable? Also, can you afford to pay the difference? </p>
<p>If he was working really hard and he is a STEM major AND you could afford it, I’d just let it go and pay for it. If, you think he really didn’t work hard, I’d make him take out the loans and tell him you’ll pay off the loans for him if he brings his GPA back up. Every sememster he has a 3.2 (make him work for it!) you will pay the loan for that semester off. If not, then he can pay to party, not you.</p>
<p>Apollo6- If you suspect he is gaming away his time, he probably is. If you have not already set the terms of his tuition clearly in respect to keeping his merit scholarship, it is not too late to do so. </p>
<p>He may need the motivation of losing his parents’ financial support to inspire him to prioritize academics. That said, consider the opinion of Intparent above-- if he is a STEM major and is working to potential but not scoring well, he may be adjusting to college level sciences/math.</p>
<p>It can be so hard to tell if a kid is really trying or just talking a good game. It’s also possible a kid who is working harder than he did in high school may think he’s really pouring it on when in fact he’s doing far less than he needs to. Just seems like a lot to him because it’s more than he did before. </p>
<p>First thing i’d look at is how hard the kid had to work in the past. My own child spent a lot of time doing homework in high school. She dropped ECs senior year because she needed to study. She trounced those TAG kids by graduation by out working them. But, I know she may not be able to keep the same grades she had because the material is harder and there’s more competition. If, like my younger, school was a snap for her, I might expect more in terms of grades. </p>
<p>Then I’d look at classes. Weeders? Sometimes one is grateful to get out with a C. </p>
<p>If I think the kid is working, I might be inclined to cover the scholarship year 2, assuming I had the money. There would, however, be conditions. </p>
<p>Now, if you have reason to suspect gaming is a problem, it probably is. In that case, my conditions would be loan year two and if grades show an upward trend, I might cover the merit money years 3.</p>
<p>Friends of ours made their son get a loan but if he pulls his grades up and proves he is working hard, they plan to pay it off for him (of course, he doesn’t know this yet).</p>
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<p>I think this is an important point that people often overlook when assessing how well their kids are likely to do in college. A kid who works like a dog to get A’s vs. one who gets As with little effort are two different types of students. Factor in how rigorous the high school was and/or whether the student is a STEM major I can see where even the class valedictorian from some high schools might struggle to maintain a 3.0 at a flagship. It’s all relative.</p>
<p>We had planned (and saved) to pay for all of son’s UG. His merit money is going to either graduate or professional school or if he doesn’t use it all we told him we would give him to him to put down on a house. If he lost his scholarship, we would continue to foot the bill but there would be less for him later.</p>
<p>I would also try to ascertain if my student had a disastrous start to college (whether too much gaming or socializing, etc.) because of not understanding all the adjustment necessary, and dug a hole too deep to recover from during the semester, even with improved efforts, or if my student had just coasted along all semester.</p>
<p>Sometimes a student thinks everything is going along just great until the shock of those first midterm grades arrives…and sometimes the hole dug is very, very deep.</p>
<p>And sometimes students even with good efforts are not going to be A students…one of my sons works very hard for Bs in his program…he is strong but some others are stellar and he is not going to get As in some of his courses.</p>
<p>Good advice. It’s not a one size fits all answer. Kids struggle for difference reasons. Clues would be: when you call him does he answer quietly and tell you he’s in the library or when you call can you hear noise and kids in the background. Does he “talk” about studying or homework or a paper he has to write or does he tell you what he did for fun the other day or is it a balance of both? Another clue: did he struggle to get things done on his own in high school and need reminders or did he pretty much self propel? (this one is more for the parent than the student) What is the class load: freshman fall is tough, but if the student is taking a large load and/or known weeder classes or a complete diet of math and science that’s alot for a freshman to grapple with and learn balance. Does he have a clear sense of how he is doing (boysx3 mentions this), sometimes freshman don’t really know because they don’t get the daily feedback or homework grades, pop quizzes and the like in college. After you have a clear sense of what is actually occurring, only then can you figure out what you might want to do.</p>
<p>DS is a computer science major. He reports that he is his CS teacher’s top honor student. However, he probably won’t have the C he needs to pass Calc I and physics isn’t looking good either. What really irritates me is that he doesn’t even have a good grade in his intro poli sci course. He found AP Calc AB and AP Physics B challenging as a high school senior. He did not pass his AP exams. However, he is a sharp kid - 34 ACT NM Commended etc. The average ACT at his state flagship is only 27. Obviously his high school was lacking but I still think he could be seeking out help and not spending ridiculous amounts of time playing the latest online game. His high school prep was 10X better than mine but I went to Barnard and worked my *&% off. Even my first semester I only had one C.</p>
<p>I think you have your answer, then. He’s doing well in what he likes, so he’s capable. Now, the question is how to handle it. I still say loans next year, but not in the future if he gets his GPA up. I’d hate to see his adjustment semester follow him for four years (although in families without resources that could very well be the case).</p>
<p>Has he talked to you along the way about his problems with assignments or tests? I know my D2 who had a relatively easy time in HS has called a couple of times stressed about classes and it has taken a lot of convincing to get her to talk to her profs, go to the writing center for help, etc. Science and math classes generally have regular tests, problem sets, labs, etc. that give the student a good idea of where they stand along the way, not so with some courses that depend more on just a few grades like a midterm and final paper.</p>
<p>How many units is he taking and what types of courses? Is he loaded down with several labs or has he balanced out his schedule with some easier, general ed courses?</p>
<p>One other factor to consider is that if he’s getting substantial merit scholarships, he’s likely at the top of his cohort and should be able to keep a 3.0 if he puts in the work, even as a STEM major.</p>
<p>what are the actual numeric grades…and the grading system for the school…ie if +/- he might have grades of 80-83 but showing a 2.67 gpa? at another school that would be 3.0 gpa.</p>
<p>calculus and physics will probably be my sons lowest grades in college…tough courses and he doesnt like them :)… </p>
<p>when you say the act at his flagship is ONLY 27… the national act average is 22 so, it may be harder than you think.</p>
<p>he will have to work really hard next semester but i would encourage the use of tutors, office hours etc and careful selection of the next semester courses… may be a good time to take some easier electives just to bring the gpa up rather than again taking harder courses with labs.</p>
<p>if you dont already, you may want to consider getting access to grades so that you can monitor.</p>
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<p>I agree. If the average really is 27, his classmates are way above the national average. Perhaps the school is a little more rigorous that you originally thought.</p>
<p>My son got involved with online gaming in late middle to early high school and found it started to really affect his grades. He finally made the choice to stop playing altogether. It’s not something you can play ‘just a little.’ It really can become an addiction for some people.</p>
<p>Sounds like he has the potential without the motivation. </p>
<p>IMHO - give it to him straight… if he doesn’t pull the grades up (even if it means absolutely no social life until the end of the year) he will have to take out loans that HE will have to pay off. Maybe that will be enough push for him to set his priorities straight. If not, he will learn a very expensive lesson. </p>
<p>I know - I speak from experience since my parents did the same with me when I lost my scholarship freshman year due to excessive socializing. </p>
<p>He will eventually grow up (maybe sophomore year after he realizes that he actually did lose his scholarship) and kick it into gear and reach his potential. But we all have to mature, face our reality, and set our priorities at our own pace.</p>
<p>Good luck!! Letting them grow up and face the consequences they create is NOT easy!</p>
<p>Hmm, if he didn’t do well in AP Calc in high school, what happened between then and now to make Calc 1 easier? Sounds like there may be gaps in his math education. If he’s not seeking out a tutor he needs to right away. If both AP Calc and AP Physics were not good in high school, why did he take both of them first semester freshman year?</p>
<p>I am NOT a math person. But I recognized that our D was working herself crazy in math, so I had an evaluation done…the place thought I was crazy and waived the evaluation fee. They were very surprized at the huge gaps she was working around. A summer’s tutoring really changed things for her. Every student is different, but I’d check it out.</p>
<p>As far as the money…well if she didn’t seek out help, D would be on her own to repay the loans. If she looked for help, etc I might change my mind, but I can’t afford to pay for her to “have fun”.</p>
<p>Wait.</p>
<p>Is this his first semester? Its not over yet, maybe a turn around is in the winds. He may have to cut those games and pay attention to the office hours. He should go to evey possible tutor or offfice hour he can get. Calc I is hard to grasp because it is very differnt from the Algebra. In my days, as I have told the story before, I took Calc II before Calc I and the professor bend backwards to help me in his two office hours to help me catch up and ended getting an A. I am not saying his professor will do that, but go to the office hours and it will help him to understand how a college level course should be tackled.</p>
<p>“Do you bail your kids out after they lose their merit scholarships or do you make them take out loans?”</p>
<p>We had this discussion with our son before he set foot on campus for his freshman year. The deal was that if he lost his merit scholarship for ANY reason, he would have to leave his private college and transfer to an in-state public. We explained that a transfer wasn’t meant to be viewed as a punishment, but rather a financial decision.</p>
<p>He’s a senior now and has maintained his merit scholarship every semester. Knowing what was expected of him from the start and the subsequent consequence if he failed to maintain his scholarship was the best way to handle it. It put the responsibility of his actions in college in his own hands.</p>
<p>Freshman Calc is amazingly more difficult than what they had in AP Calc. All three of my kids struggled. My kids all had great SAT scores (750-800) and AP exam = 5, and yet they all felt a bit overwhelmed with Calc in college. Each one said they spent more time on that class than any other class those semesters.</p>
<p>My point is that I think maintaining a high gpa freshman year is awfully difficult, esp for classes like Calculus. Those scholarships are really a lure for students who think they could do it, but then when they’re on their own they discover it’s much harder than they thought. Unfortunately, you’ll have to figure out what your pocketbook feels about this and subsequently who pays. Hopefully if he can get back on track, he’ll have another shot.</p>
<p>As annoyed as I’d be if my D lost a merit scholarship that I thought she could have retained, what I would do would depend on how she came to be at that school. If it was a school we would have paid for her to attend without the scholarship, then I would probably pay the tuition. Otherwise I’d feel like I was punishing her for earning the scholarship in the first place. If she was attending a school that we otherwise would not have sent her to/would not have paid for, then it would be a different analysis and she would definitely have to share the financial pain.</p>