Tracking your willing child while they study abroad

<p>@‌ lookingforward
Lol, your daughter does sound like an adventurous young woman. I actually like all the research you did on her behalf. There is no doubt that solid information from solid sources is the best preparation for travelers – and their parents. </p>

<p>“I’m not sure what you hope to gain simply by knowing her whereabouts 24/7”</p>

<p>I don’t want, or need, to know where she is 24/7. I just thought local authorities would find it helpful if she turned up missing to be able to say she was last in ABC city instead of “we heard from her 4 days ago in XYZ city but she could be anywhere in your country”. </p>

<p>Then you would be better served to ask your daughter to email or send you a message if she changes locations for any reason. Teach your daughter that it will make you feel more comfortable with this information.</p>

<p>My kid traveled to Cambodia in the fall. The travel plans and hostel arrangements changed several times. She had an unlocked IPhone with an international plan with her. She simply sent me an imessage when her plans and locations changed. It was easy peasy. And I let her know I hoped she would do,this for just the reason you noted…so we would know her whereabouts just in case.</p>

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<p>Is your daughter going to be visiting this insane asyllum in Vietnam totally unsupervised by the assylum staff? </p>

<p>Have u considered that maybe both you and your child just aren’t suited to doing this trip, and maybe she should stay at home?</p>

<p>Also, this will only work if your daughter has her cell phone with her at all times. Otherwise, you will know where her cell phone is…but not necessarily where SHE is.</p>

<p>I agree with GMT…maybe you just can’t let your kiddo go on this trip if you can’t trust her judgement.</p>

<p>We need a thread about our kids’ travel adventures (and maybe ours, at their ages.) Katliamom I’d call her adventurous now, but not savvy until the last big stay. OP, it’s not easy. But when they have a marvelous opportunity- and when we agree to it- we try to trust the strengths they do have and work on the lessons we think they need. Or we do ask them to find another idea we’re more comfortable with. </p>

<p>I think the obvious answer to the OP’s quandary is that you can’t reliably track your child’s movements in Vietnam, from the US, unless you have the will and resources to install a subcutaneous GPS chip in them, and you can’t personally ensure their safety unless you physically accompany them everywhere and hire a bodyguard.</p>

<p>You’ll just have to deal with the fact that the world is a big scary place and your child is in it, I think.</p>

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<p>Maybe she should travel first within the US on her own or with a school program before venturing on her own overseas. My niece traveled quite extensively with summer programs while in high school, so when she traveled in college, her parents weren’t worried about her street smarts while traveling. </p>

<p>Saying one’s child is a “complete airhead” is not the best description, nor is it really helpful. If she’s uneducated, then educate her about basic things one does while traveling. Registering with the US embassy is one thing. Giving you a detailed itinerary with names, addresses, phone numbers and/or email address is another. Tell her to check in weekly or whenever she moves from one place to another. Tell her to have a travel buddy - don’t go out at night in a strange city alone. Teach her about exchanging money. </p>

<p>Give her the tools and knowledge to travel safely. That’s way more important than a chip implantation. </p>

<p>Let’s not forget that OP’s daughter will be part of a program. She’ll have onsite advisors and care takers, she’ll be with other Americans, likely some of whom have traveled in Asia. Vietnam is a tourist mecca, there are many westerners there, lots of expats. I can think of far scarrier locations for a novice to go. It’s not like she’s going to inner Mongolia or Timbuktu.</p>

<p>My D went to Europe by herself earlier this year (she was meeting friends, but had to navigate plane changes and a lengthy train ride from an airport to the city where her friends were, and then she took another train / bus / plane combo to visit a different friend). We got T-Mobile so she could text us from anywhere. It made a difference in my peace of mind - she could text us when she arrived at each airport, when she got to a destination, etc. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask for a short text every day (simply “I’m fine” or words to that effect). Believe me, if I were made of money I would hire armed guards to accompany my kids everywhere, and fly them via private jet while I was at it, but you’re better off just teaching her the tools to navigate travel. </p>

<p>@OP, does your kid’s college offer a “tamer” study abroad option like the UK?</p>

<p>I agree that if you have so many doubts about where she is headed and how she will act when she gets there, then I would not let her go. I would imagine you have some control over that in terms of financing the semester abroad.</p>

<p>If you don’t want to be that controlling then take a deep breath and let go. Sometimes you have to relinquish control and let whatever happens happen. I would give her as much guidance as possible, but you must understand that when kids are away they are out of our real control. Trying to track her is extreme.</p>

<p>And if your reasoning is going in the direction that you need to track her in order to help authorities find her when she goes missing…well that isn’t a place where your imagination should be going. And if the risk is truly that real, then put a stop to her traveling before you have regrets.</p>

<p>To the OP…do you track your student while she is at her college? It’s not always safe there either, as you know.</p>

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My daughter spent a week traveling by herself through Burma 2 years ago. She was past college – about 24 years old - but still very much alone. She had a wonderful time - all of the people she met were incredibly friendly and helpful. She felt very safe. </p>

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You don’t need GPS for that – when my d. was traveling along I just asked her to send a daily email, text message or tweet with her location. When she first arrived in Burma, she had a hard time finding an internet cafe and sent us an email alerting us that we probably wouldn’t have internet access for at least 5 days, given her travel plans-- but she had given us a fairly specific itinerary so at least we knew where she planned to travel. Two days later there was an email - turned out that internet connections in the Burmese countryside was a lot better than anticipated. </p>

<p>My d is traveling abroad right now (brief vacation over Thanksgiving holiday) – she’s with her boyfriend, and he sent us all a one-line “arrived safely at destination” email yesterday.</p>

<p>Forget GPS but do pay for your d. to have a phone with an international data plan of some sort, at least for text messaging. </p>

<p>I understand the impulse - my daughter traveled alone all throughout europe the summer after her junior year, and I did ask for daily updates as to where she was. I had the same concern you do, only over a broader geographical range – if my daughter disappeared, without the tweet or text, I wouldn’t even know what country she had disappeared from. Italy? Poland? Hungary? Kosovo? She probably visited a dozen different countries that summer, and was happy to board a cheap flight to somewhere on a whim – so even knowing where she had been on one day was not much of a clue as to where she would wind up the next. </p>

<p>Agree with Calmom. But this daughter is doing a study abroad. When our kids did that, we encouraged them to spread their wings and visit places they were unlikely to travel to again. While in Burma and Vietnam, this poster’s daughter will have fabulous opportunities to travel inexpensively to a number of nearby countries…to see some fabulous things.</p>

<p>I hope her father’s fears of his unknown don’t discourage her from these opportunities.</p>

<p>By the time you, from half way around the world, discover that your daughter is missing, and then communicate a location to the local authorities, who likely have a varying level of competence or care factor, the reality is that she is likely already long gone.</p>

<p>If she was mugged or faced a violent situation, it would be over and done with and she would be fine again by the time you found out. If she is kidnapped into the sex trade or something, she will be gone before you can do anything.</p>

<p>Soccerguy315, you offer very little comfort with that post! </p>

<p>My daughter spent last summer volunteering and travelling in Nepal. She was between her HIGH SCHOOL junior and senior year and traveled with one other young lady who had just finished her Freshman year of college.</p>

<p>To say that I was nervous was an understatement!! We found, though, that finding internet cafes was fairly easy even in a remote spot of the world. When she was going to areas that were “off the grid” she let us know time frames. Do invest in a SIM card for the Iphone. This was the best way by far to stay in touch with quick texts.</p>

<p>I had many sleepless nights, but she had a ball! Good luck to you!</p>

<p>soccerguy’s post isn’t comforting, but IMO it is true. If something went amiss, the adults on the trip are in a far better position to deal with it than a parent halfway around the globe is. That’s why the advice on the thread is so important. Educate her to be a smart traveler.</p>

<p>OP, when you say she’ll be going off on her own, is that for part of a day, or for days at a time, or what? When D went to China, she was always with at least one other member of her group, and that only seems prudent to me. </p>

<p>This may seem helicopter-parent-ish, but perhaps you could call one of the advisers who’s going on the trip and discuss your worries. Have they done this trip before? How do they keep track of students? What are the protocols if a student is late returning? I think you’ll probably feel at least somewhat better after you talk to one of the grownups in charge.</p>

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<p>The kid is doing a semester study abroad. Presumably there is a school on the other end as a well. This doesn’t sound like a trip with a gaggle of chaperones.</p>

<p>Still…your school’s study abroad office would not be sending kids to countries with department of state warnings for travel. This kid is not going into a war zone.</p>

<p>She needs to learn to travel smart, as noted above. She should be asked to check in with you regularly. She should be asked to let your know when she is traveling to other places. She needs to know the rules in the country where she is traveling. </p>

<p>The title to this post says the student is WILLING to be tracked. So if that is what she is willing to do, just do it. The iPhone tracking apps are fine. Any tracking thing will have its limitations because it’s not embedded in the kid. </p>

<p>But really, smart traveling skills are an important skill to know…and USE. Far more important than a tracking device, in my opinion.</p>