Hi so I’m in my second semester of college and i hate it. I live at home and my parents have always been really abusive all my life and they are really religious and have always believed girls should stay at home go to college and get married automatically. and through my 18 years of living with them i’ve not once been happy. i have tried ending my life several times because of how horrible they treat me they’re mentally and physically absuive and i can’t take it anymore. I want to transfer to an out of state college and i convinced them to let me for a year. i told them it was a program that i got into and so they agreed but they don’t know it’s for the rest of my college years. i figured since i convinced them for one year i can convince the next years as they come. But i need help, i have no idea how transfer process works i already applied and stuff but i have never been able to do anything on my own due to how my protective and sheltered i’ve been all my life. I applied to the school i want to go to and i’m sure i’ll get in i have a 3.5 gpa for my first 2 semesters but the thing is i have no clue how to pay for it, i figured i’d take loans for the first year since it’s out of state. life is so scary and i have no clue how i’m going to go about the next free years but i think i’ll just wing it and try to do it,
Trust me when I say this, there is nothing worse than wondering “what if?” That being said, think very carefully about your financial situation. Loans can bite you in the rear if they are not handled correctly.
Hi Sara–Pls consider transferring into one of the top women’s colleges that offer 100% of need. You may want to try transferring into Mt. Holyoke or Bryn Mawr. 3.5 is a really good score but you may need slightly higher, FYI. Just be prepared for that and maybe do one more semester and focus on As that semester.
The reason for this is that while it’s not that hard to get into many colleges, paying for them is another story. These schools that I mention in this post have a long history of educating women, starting when that was controversial, and they also offer good financial aid. You would probably end up with some debt (under $26-$30K) but it would be a manageable level. Many other schools without this mission and history have no qualms about charging you aid and then making you pay through loans–and they’d demand that your parents are co-signers on those loans, probably, which might be impossible for you. Even if you got the loans, you do not not not want large debt upon graduating.
You may also want to try Smith and maybe Vassar. For first-year students they tend to take higher scores, but their transfer program may take a wider range. Vassar is coed but started out as a women’s school and has a mission to find lower income people and provides good need-based aid. Vassar has an “exploring transfer” program that may be able to advise you. You seem to be living outside of its geographic reach, but if you contact them and begin a conversation about how to transfer or how you might participate in that program somehow, they may (or may not) have advice for you http://eter.vassar.edu/
Scroll down to Casey’s description of the Vassar transfer program for community college students–https://www.■■■■■■■■■/colleges/vassar-college/q-and-a/describe-the-students-at-your-school-6/1
**edit: okay so the website here bloked the word u n i g o from the URL above. type in that word minus spaces into the place with all of the asterisks to make the link work. end of edit.
If you want to try for the older-student route, Smith, Bryn Mawr, (maybe Vassar through the community college transfer program), Agnes Scott, Wellesley, and Mt. Holyoke also have nontraditional programs for older women students or women students who for some reason had to interrupt their studies.
Smith – https://www.smith.edu/admission-aid/how-apply/ada-comstock-scholars
Mt. Holyoke – https://www.mtholyoke.edu/fp
Bryn Mawr – https://www.brynmawr.edu/admissions/mcbride-scholars
Wellesley – http://www.wellesley.edu/admission/esp/davis
Agnes Scott–https://agnesscott.edu/admission/transfer-nontraditional-students/index.html (but I’m not sure that it’s FA meets 100% of need. Be clear about this before attending)
Best of luck to you.
So your plan might look like:
- try transfer this year into Mt. H and Bryn Mawr, maybe Smith too. Check with Vassar about their transfer program and how you might participate.
- If rejected, raise grades and try again for transfer into Smith, Bryn Mawr, Mt. H, and Vassar
Co-ed schools with similar missions include Grinnell and Haverford. There may be others
Brown, Yale, and several other schools have programs for older students, too
Okay here’s an old old article about Vassar’s exploring transfer program–http://www.nytimes.com/1996/04/22/nyregion/vassar-helps-2-year-college-students-transfer-up.html
I’m sure that much has changed with the program, but it’s nice to know that it has a long history.
First of all, I’m really sorry you have to deal with this. Overly religious parents are literally the worst because there’s no reasoning with somebody who hides behind their faith as a way to treat people like crap.
BESIDES the recommendations above about 100% need womens colleges (which I recommend you also check out)
You could try to move out (have any tolerant family members or friends you could live with?) and go to community college for a few years to save money. If you do really well, you can still get merit scholarships that cover some/all of the tuition.
All my family members are exactly like this. My older sister was lucky enough to befriend some people who have helped her a lot, and she moved out successfully. Unlike me she isn’t too mentally messed up and was able to fight for herself. I’m more of a helpless cause.
but yes, thank you for the woman’s college recommendations, i have been looking into them .
@sarathekat Is there a counselor at your current school someone you could tell about the abuse that is happening to you and they could help you get away from your parents. Also maybe your school has a transfer advisor who can help at your current school that can assist you with the transfer process.
I hope everything works out for you.