<p>Does anyone have any experience with transferring between schools? My daughter is unhappy with the social component of her life at boarding school, feels that people are not her type, etc. On the other hand, she loves all her classes and her marks have been very high so far. </p>
<p>She thinks people would think she was a loser if she transferred, and quite possibly that there are snobby/mean crowds everywhere. Also, I was wondering if the schools that she was accepted in last year but did not attend, would be interested in reading her app again. Would she be more/less likely to be accepted, would her teachers give her good recommendations to go elsewhere, would the financial aid offer be similar to what it was when she was a freshman?</p>
<p>What advice would you give: stick it out ("it's sure to get better") or try somewhere else ("why have three more lonely years?)</p>
<p>Thanks for your advice. All the posts on this forum seem so positive about Boarding School, I wonder what other people think about the frequency of less than "amazing!" experiences.</p>
<p>I would finish out the school year and then see how you feel. It wouldn't be smart to switch schools in the middle of the year (I don't even think boarding schools allow that--it could be disruptive to everyone's experience). Have a long talk about it over the summer.</p>
<p>"the schools that she was accepted in last year but did not attend, would be interested in reading her app again."</p>
<p>--> Although she was accepted in last year but did not attend, she has to file a completely new application including new SSAT and recom letters. It is not as simple as that. It is a totally new game. That means the admission is not guaranteed. Hopefully she gets admitted.</p>
<p>Well, I honestly don't think each school will differ greatly... really. If she's at a TSAO, especially. </p>
<p>There are the nerds, mean girls, populars, rejects, rebels, weirdos, 'normals' (haha) everywhere, so I think she just has to stay strong and keep going.</p>
<p>What she needs to figure out is whether or not the social life will be an improvement at different schools. My suggestion is that you arrange for her to visit and sleepover at her prospective schools. She will get an idea of what the boarding social life is like at each one. I think the social life can vary among schools. </p>
<p>I don't know the answers to your questions, but I suspect that she must have clear and logical reasons about why she wants to transfer schools. If her reasons make sense, then I think it will be fine with Admissions, even at schools that admitted her last year. </p>
<p>I'd stick it out for the rest of the year. The first semester away at school is hard and sometimes it's harder for some than others to make friends and find their people - I know it took me a while before I really found "my" people and became really close friends with them. </p>
<p>Does she have people that she hangs out with and does things with on weekends and such? Has she always had the same group of friends since she was little and is missing the close relationships she may have had with her friends from home? I have to keep reminding myself now (as a college freshman) that it takes time to develop the close relationships that I miss so much. If she's desperately lonely and doesn't even have people to eat dinner with, then I would consider transferring more seriously, but if she does have people that she can consider friends, even if they aren't as close friends as friends from home, that relationship with them could improve and become the close relationships that your daughter may want. This is entirely speculation on my part about wanting to have those really close, best friends right away at a new school, mainly because I know that's how I felt, but just putting it out there.</p>
<p>Yeah... I think if she transfers now, she'd just kind of be running away from problems - especially if this is her first year.</p>
<p>Like, BS is new... it's scary! Especially for a 13/14 year old. Friends aren't easy to make, and usually the type that makes friends easily doesn't need to be at the 'right' school, it happens everywhere! You'll end up with a group of 6 people in the first 5 hours on the first day. </p>
<p>If she's the introverted type, than I don't think it's a case of 'wrong school'. Unless her school is like <100 or something, than I don't think the social scene will change very much from place to place. </p>
<p>Bottom line; if she isn't making friends, I don't think that it's the school... she just isn't that 'type', and they'll take longer to build. All in good time...</p>
<p>I certainly wasn't considering a mid-year transfer, I just realize that if she wants to transfer in the fall we have to get on the ball now. Of course by second semester she could have a better opinion of her school, but if not, by the time she realizes things aren't getting better, the application deadline has passed.</p>
<p>Does anyone know anyone who did transfer? Was it complicated?</p>
<p>i noticed that the hill school's new students also included a new junior from andover (yes, the boarding school) though i have a feeling that was more for academic reasons (ie. they can't handle the classes, feel like they don't stand out whatever reason) than social reasons. but i'm guessing transferring boarding schools isn't dead =/</p>
<p>I don't think it would be as hard as folks are making it sound. You have two things in your favor: 1) Most schools believe themselves to be uniquely wonderful and so are open to believing that the social life at another school is cliquier. 2) If your daughter is a full pay, she'd be applying at a time when some schools are worried about how the economy is going to affect enrollment.</p>
<p>Depending on how competitive a school you're considering, a school may be willing to reconsider last year's application with updated information - her latest transcript, of course, and a letter from her current school that makes it clear that she is not asocial.</p>
<p>As to whether she'll be happier somewhere else....that's a tougher question. Are you sure she wants to be at boarding school or could this be an excuse to come back home?</p>
<p>One of my close friends did this exactly. She "started on the wrong foot," absolutely hated her social life, and had no friend left by the time she was a sophomore. I don't think there was exactly anything wrong with her, but I heard that there was just this "one fight," and people were so mean to her that HER TEACHERS RECOMMENDED THAT SHE LEAVES. </p>
<p>O.K. I don't want to reveal which school this is, because every time I say something like this, it seems to scare away/upset the applicants on CC(I have no idea why. I'm just giving an honest first-hand portrayal of a BS life they will have to face one day), but I assure you that it's a highly regarded institution that many on CC would covet to attend. </p>
<p>She transferred to a fellow boarding school, which was just as prestigious and selective(mine), during her junior year. She has friends now, and she's happier. </p>
<p>But I really don't know if it would be worth it to go through all the troubles so you can "have friends." Starting over in junior year is not an easy thing! Switching classes, meeting new teachers, adjusting to new set of rules, etc. </p>
<p>BTW, the fight that my friend had was about something extremely petty. She decided one day that she did not like how close-minded and conservative her friends. She stopped dressing preppy and started being artsier and more eclectic... Seeing as how preppy her old school was, people started calling her a Goth and emo, etc.. I know, it's extremely stupid. But it made her life miserable enough for her advisor to suggest transferring.</p>
<p>It is always best to have all four of your high school years at one school, but transferring shouldn't be a problem depending on what schools you're looking at. We have had students transfer in or out for that very reason. Whether a child should stick it out is really determined by her personality. I would venture to guess that you know in your heart whether it's going to get better or worse for her. The thing is that you want her to graduate high school confident and ready to face the world, not self-concious and unsure of herself.</p>
<p>My school does not keep applications on file once a student has chosen another school, so for any others that have the same policy, you would have to complete the entire process over again. There's certainly no harm in looking and letting your daughter visit schools, particularly overnight as someone else suggested. She may find another school that is more diverse or has a set of students she feels she would fit in with better...or she may realize that the kids in her school aren't so bad after all! </p>
<p>As for recommendations, normally teachers give good recommendations (if deserved of course), especially if you're honest about the reasons you're considering leaving. They want their students to be happy, even if it is somewhere else.</p>
Well around two years I transferred around two times, from a private school in Claymont to a boarding school in Pennsylvania. Then again a week later to another boarding school. From a students perspective it can be hard to adjust but i have learned many things. No matter where you go there will be people you do not like. I have been at this school since mid-year of my Sophomore year and I will tell you this. There are a few schools that allow Mid-year transferring and I was grateful at the time but as a senior the same reasons i left my last two schools. (community and the teachers would go against the students) I have found a hostile environment that has more or less turned me against myself and the community so im doing a mid year transfer again. It is possible so if need be try it.
@EntityFrost why would you transfer schools the end of your senior year? Are you going to do a PG? Seems like the last few months you could just stick it out? What will the colleges say, and most schools would not grant you a diploma unless you are there a full year, right?