Transferring to a lower-tier school

Parent Cafe
1

<p>I was hoping I could get a little input on a bit of a conundrum. </p>

<p>Just to give a bit of background, I always had somewhat of a desire to attend SUNY Cortland, admittedly in a large part because my boyfriend attends there (yeah, I know, bad idea usually, but give me a chance). Otherwise, I was attracted to the proximity, medium size, and the many happy stories of graduates I knew, plus I considered the educational program.</p>

<p>Then, I wound up going into a major that Cortland didn't offer (occupational therapy), so I went to Ithaca instead. Then, while there, I decided that I wanted to study engineering, which I couldn't really study there OR at Cortland, so I transferred to Binghamton where I commute and spend very little. </p>

<p>However, now that I'm doing engineering I'm realizing that I don't like that either, and furthermore, Binghamton really isn't what I want in a school either. I didn't fit into Ithaca socially, but I liked the teaching-oriented nature of the school (versus research), as well as the smaller size. Between commuting and Binghamton's size, I have not made any friends. And by any, I literally mean zero friends.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, I've continued to date my boyfriend, and through frequent visits to Cortland, I've established the largest network of friends I've ever had in my life there. When I go there, for literally the first time in my life I feel like I really fit in somewhere. I've realized this since my freshman year, but due to the program I wanted to do I couldn't transfer there in the first place.</p>

<p>Now that I'm switching majors, I really want to go to Cortland, but I realize that this is an academic downgrade. Most of my family seems supportive of the idea, but my older brother has basically gone on a rampage against this (sending me book-long emails, calling our mom, etc.). His argument, which is probably valid, is that if I do a degree in psychology (my current plan) the downgrade of school level will probably make it practically impossible for me to find a job, and in addition, that employers will look down on my multiple transfers and majors. Just for reference, my grades at both schools and high school have thus far been near a 4.0 (one A- in college so far, though calc II is going to be significantly lower), but they are slipping a bit this semester because I've been really depressed. </p>

<p>To summarize, my questions are:</p>

<p>-Will my indecision as someone in my early 20s effectively damage my prospects for the rest of my life? Or does it not really matter?
-Is it generally a poor idea to transfer from a higher tier school to a lower tier school?
-Are social reasons a legitimate reason to transfer schools?
-Is a degree in psychology a horrible idea?</p>

<p>Thanks in advance, and sorry for the long post.</p>

2

<p>What is the point of a good education? A good job? What does a good job entail? Happiness? You don’t have to mortgage your future. Go to Cortland and have a good time with your boyfriend. From where I’m standing (snobville) the difference in reputation between Binghamton and Cortland isn’t really that huge anyway.</p>

3

<p>As a practical matter, many/most folks with a degree in psych end up going on to grad school anyway, and wherever you get your highest degree will be what folks look at. </p>

<p>Whatever you may decide, it is helpful to keep your grades up, to keep your options as open as possible. Transferring to follow a loved one is problematic, especially if all your friends are mutual friends. It is fairly common for relationships to have challenges and splits during college & afterwards; have heard of many folks who have switched schools to follow BF/GF, only to break up just after the transfer. If that were to happen, how would you feel? It can be very awkward & lonely, especially if all your friends are mutual.</p>

4

<p>If you really want to get a PhD in psych, I’d stay at Binghamtom (they have some world-class psych faculty there and doing research with and getting LORs from them would probably help your app). If you don’t want to go to grad school, don’t like research, want only an MA/MSW/etc, or plan to take 2+ years off before grad school to work in a research lab, then it probably doesn’t matter with regards to academics.</p>

5

<p>Can you complete the remainder of your engineering classes (even though you don’t like it)? If you are able to graduate as an engineer, that will open up the most opportunities in your life, even if you never apply for an engineering job. But you may not be up for spending that much time solving math problems and that’s ok to.</p>

<p>

</p>

<p>1) You won’t screw up your life as long as you graduate with a degree.
2) Don’t worry about tiers right now. Worry about picking the right major.
3) It’s ok to transfer as long as you have direction with where you are going in life
4) A degree in pysch will qualify you for grad school as well as positions that require a college degree (but are not specific to which college degree). I don’t think many people use BS degrees in pysch for positions that require pysch degrees.</p>

6

<p>Psych - I guess the main thing that I’m stuck on right now is the fact that I am absolutely miserable right now. People keep telling me to think for the long term, which I know I should be doing, but each day I get out of bed with a feeling of dread. I worry that if I stay at Binghamton that I won’t graduate, because I don’t know how much longer I can go through the motions like this. It’s evident something needs to change and maybe I’m just grasping at the next thing that might make me happy.</p>

<p>HImom - It is a legitimate concern, but I am also motivated by the fact that I don’t think the hypothetical breakup will happen. My boyfriend and I will have been together 5 years as of this summer, and we plan to get married when we’re out of school and doing so won’t ruin my financial aid. I do realize that anything can happen, but our relationship has never really been rocky. In fact, the majority of the few problems we have have been due to not being able to see each other (we’ve always been somewhat long distance, only getting to see each other every couple weeks or so). Also, our friend network is mutual as of now, but I would definitely make a conscious effort to branch out.</p>

<p>bigtrees - It’s technically possible, but not without causing myself misery and possibly putting myself in a not-so-good mental/emotional state. Also, as it stands, the engineering degree would take me 3 years to complete (forcing me to graduate a year late), whereas if I studied psych, possibly even with a minor or dual major (if I’m careful), I can graduate in two due to the gen eds that I have taken/AP credits.</p>

7

<p>my biggest concern is with all of this transferring (3 schools in 3 years) is that you are losing credits with each transfer and change of major. If you are collecting financial aid (pell/tap) those funds are limited and you may find your self not having enough FA to complete school (reduced FA if they feel you are not making progress toward a degree).</p>

<p>Where will all of this place you in terms of graduating? Can you complete the psych degree requirements in 4 years or will you now need extra time?</p>

8

<p>“Where will all of this place you in terms of graduating? Can you complete the psych degree requirements in 4 years or will you now need extra time?”</p>

<p>Yes, I can graduate by my original projected graduation year (2012). In the course of my engineering and occupational therapy education, in addition to AP, I have completed a lot of requirements for a good deal of majors. I have general psych, intro to soc, biology 1 and 2, calc 1 and 2, chemistry 1 and 2, cultural anthropology, U.S. politics, world politics, etc., etc.</p>

9

<p>The issue that is standing out to me is your brother’s lack of appropriate boundaries. </p>

<p>Your plan sounds reasonable. The one thing you might want to really look at is if you and your boyfriend do break up. In otherwords, remove him from your list of considerations and see how it stacks up. If it still seems like a good idea, then you know you’re making a good choice. </p>

<p>I wish you the best of luck. Sometimes it takes a couple of tries to find your place.</p>

10

<p>Binghamton is, what, 50 minutes away from Cortland? One compromise might be for you to commute to Binghamton, while living in Cortland (with your boyfriend?). </p>

<p>Or, you can try Cornell… just sayin’.</p>

<p>But, if that’s not possible… don’t stay where you’re absolutely miserable.</p>

11

<p>if you are miserable, Julie, there is no way you should stay where you are…even if it was Harvard…don’t worry about the ranking or about job placement; as psychmom said, alot of psych majors go on to grad school…even MBA’s…worry about your happiness and, if possible, your GPA…</p>

<p>sorry you are having such difficulty but rankings should NEVER play into this decision…</p>

12

<p>If your parents are ok with the plan, then what does your brother’s opinion matter?</p>

13

<p>Maybe your brother is being a pain in the neck. Or maybe your brother is saying what nobody else dares to say… don’t plan your life around a guy- any guy- even if its one you think you might marry down the road. Lots of women have been in your shoes-- maybe your brother is asking you to consider the paradigm from the either point of view- why isn’t it the BF trying to find a program closer to you? Why isn’t the BF the one who is depressed or anxious or switching his major? Why isn’t the BF willing to step down in educational “prestige” to be closer to you?</p>

<p>I’m not suggesting that any of this should be a reason to or not to transfer. But as much as my own siblings drive me nuts… I am forced to admit that most of the time they are being provocative for my own good, telling me or prodding me in directions which most of the other people in my life either can’t or won’t or don’t know enough to.</p>

<p>Just something to consider? A degree in psychology is not a terrible thing. A degree in psychology may be a less than optimal thing if you seize on psychology as the way to have your cake and eat it too… transfer, not lose credits, be near the BF and the friends,i.e. get what you want in the short term without considering what will happen in the long term (you’ll be a person with a degree in psychology from a school you consider “an academic downgrade” (your words not mine.).</p>

<p>So it’s worth spending 3 minutes thinking about your brother and his point of view.</p>

14

<p>From a Cortland alum:</p>

<p>It IS a lower ranked school but several of my classmates have enjoyed distinguished careers in various fields. I loved my time there but pretty much knew I didn’t want to be a teacher (the only degree my parents would fund) so I went to law school on my own dime after a hiatus. My B.S. from a lesser known school never was mentioned when I was interviewed for any of my lawyer jobs. </p>

<p>My boyfriend from H.S. went to a college about 6 hours away by bus but the romance survived and we married after we graduated. I still had a terrific social life at Cortland. That being said I encouraged all of my kids to attend better known colleges. I think grad school opportunities in psych if you stick it out at Binghamton would probably be better. I like the above suggestion to consider commuting from Cortland. You’d still enjoy the social life.</p>

15

<p>If you are really unhappy at Bing, then go to Cortland. After all, if you’re miserable, you’re less likely to perform well and you can still get into grad school from Cortland.</p>

16

<p>“The one thing you might want to really look at is if you and your boyfriend do break up. In otherwords, remove him from your list of considerations and see how it stacks up. If it still seems like a good idea, then you know you’re making a good choice.”</p>

<p>I think I feel pretty confident that the social reasons are a big enough draw independent of my boyfriend being there. I say this because if I do transfer there, my boyfriend would only be a student there for a year because he’s graduating. I’ll still be there after he graduates, so I definitely am not just making the decision based on him. However, I do worry that part of my decision stems from just wanting ANY change I can implement. All I know is that I’m miserable where I am, doing what I’m doing, and I feel like if I don’t change these things I eventually won’t be able to take it anymore. I guess I’m not comfortable with saying, ‘I’m going to flush away these two perfectly good years of my life and be miserable for the sake of practicality.’ Which seems to be what a lot of people expect me to do.</p>

<p>“Binghamton is, what, 50 minutes away from Cortland? One compromise might be for you to commute to Binghamton, while living in Cortland (with your boyfriend?).”</p>

<p>Unfortunately that’s not possible. For one, I don’t have a car, nor do I have the means to get one. I currently get to classes by taking the bus. Secondly, my boyfriend is on the student staff and thus must live on campus in the residence halls (he needs to do this in order to make school affordable). Thirdly, I have no means of paying for an apartment in Cortland. I would be able to live ON campus with financial aid, and then hope to get a student staff/work-study position myself to make things more affordable. </p>

<p>“why isn’t it the BF trying to find a program closer to you?”</p>

<p>The only school closer to me IS Binghamton and he doesn’t have the stats to get in here. Plus, he fits in at Cortland and has tons of friends.</p>

<p>“Why isn’t the BF the one who is depressed or anxious or switching his major?”</p>

<p>Again, he likes and fits in at his school. He has changed his major, actually, but the program he switched to was offered at Cortland thus didn’t require transfer. He is sad about missing me, but he has everything else going for him there. </p>

<p>“Why isn’t the BF willing to step down in educational “prestige” to be closer to you?”</p>

<p>The only school any closer to here would be Binghamton itself, which again, he can’t get into. He’s also farther along in college than me (graduating next year), so transferring now would also stop him from graduating.</p>

<p>“A degree in psychology is not a terrible thing. A degree in psychology may be a less than optimal thing if you seize on psychology as the way to have your cake and eat it too… transfer, not lose credits, be near the BF and the friends,i.e. get what you want in the short term without considering what will happen in the long term”</p>

<p>I can see where you might get that from my post, but just to clarify, I’m not switching to psychology in order to go to Cortland. I’m switching to psychology independent of that decision (I just registered for psychology courses next semester in case I stay at Binghamton), and I now have the opportunity to attend Cortland because I’m finally doing a major that they offer. (Which is what I’ve wanted to do all along.)</p>

<p>Trust me, I’m not just blowing off what my brother said thinking he’s just giving me a hard time. I know he has reasons behind what he’s saying. What I do really get from reading between the lines, though, is that he really thinks I should just tough it out and finish a degree in engineering. When I asked him to give me alternatives to psychology (which he vehemently opposes) he ceased e-mailing me.</p>

17

<p>I am casting my vote for Cortland. My thoughts:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>First, as a parent of three in college. My son, a freshman at SUNY Cortland, is by far the happiest of the three. He is thriving there. I went a couple of weeks ago to visit and was completely blown away by how nice and polite all the boys (one may be your boyfriend!) on his floor were. I know, I sound just like a mom, but socially, this is one very nice school.</p></li>
<li><p>As a SUNY graduate myself (Plattsburgh, 1983): I graduated during a recession with a degree in computer science and had absolutely no problem finding a job. A great job with a financial company in NY. Years later, that company hired a new president: Also a Plattsburgh graduate. </p></li>
<li><p>As an adult with some perspective: Again, I have three kids in college. YOU have to be where you are happy. I’ll admit, when I was searching with my first child. There was definitely some ego involved on my part as well as my child’s. She wouldn’t consider any school without a name. I have come to realize, that unless you graduate from an Ivy, “tiers” make no difference. Just my opinion. What will matter is YOU! How you present yourself, the person you are.</p></li>
<li><p>Back to my parent mode: Financially. Cortland is a bargain (I assume you are from NY). Save your money (and your parent’s if this is an issue) and spend it on grad school.</p></li>
<li><p>As a general observation: SUNY schools are consistently ranked very highly on all the “lists”. I am proud to have my son at SUNY Cortland. Again, do what makes you happy. Your brother is not you.</p></li>
</ol>

18

<p>Okay, honestly, I was going to lecture you about choosing the fun over the fundamentals, but it sounds like you already made up your mind. :stuck_out_tongue: At the risk of sacrificing your grades, you want HAPPINESS. and maybe decent alumni connections. Have fun at Cortland, you :P</p>

19

<p>Brava, firsttimeelisa!</p>

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</p>

<p>If you were several years into this process with a low gpa and few credits to show for it, that would be one thing. But you’ve kept yourself on track, you’ve identified some issues that are changable and have worked out a reality-based plan to shake things up. You do not need to substitute your brother’s judgement for your own and perhaps he’s a little ticked off about it. It’s hard to figure out how to become adult sibilings together, it’s a process. Let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he’s worried about you.</p>

<p>Sticking with things is important but so it being able recognize the need for change. I married young and transfered many, many times before finishing my degree (over 20 years later!) It’s not the ideal path but the skills I’ve picked up along the way in terms of organization, communication, flexibility and persistence continue to serve me well. When people find things are not going as they planned, I’m often the one they turn to for support because getting things going in the right direction again is my specaility! You’ll be done so much faster that I was but you’re picking up these unique skills as well. I wish you the best.</p>

20

<p>Transfer.</p>

<p>If you continue your plan and major in Psych, you will need a graduate degree anyway. (And by the way, your resume states where you got your degree and year of graduation, not the other schools you went to.)</p>

<p>You may want to get an education degree at Cortland while there. You can then get a psych post-grad degree and consider working in the schools!</p>